How does Reconciliation work for you?

[Nitenites]

Okay, bad title, but I couldn’t think of a better way to word it.

When I attend Reconciliation, I pretty much “stick to the book.” I start with, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been (insert time frame) since my last confession.” I jump in with with all my sins (I try to run through the Commandments in my head to be thorough), get my penance, say the Act of Contrition, get absolution, thank Father, and leave. It’s pretty formal.

So, how do you do it? Formal? Informal? Are you chatty? Do you ask your priest questions? I’m just curious, because, of course, I’ve never been to another confession besides my own!

 

[st_felicity]

Nitenites:

So, how do you do it? Formal? Informal? Are you chatty? Do you ask your priest questions? I’m just curious, because, of course, I’ve never been to another confession besides my own!

I’m a convert from Baptist, and I have always found it difficult. I love the grace of Reconciliation, and the humility it brings me, but ooooh, it is hard for me!

My “style” is much the same as yours, except I do the examination of conscience at home before I ever go to church, and then I pray in the church before entering the confessional.

I’m a pretty outgoing person–pretty self confident–I usually have it together and can express myself, but I get in there and the air is litterally sucked out of me . I often have trouble even remembering what I came there to confess–my mind goes blank. I’m not having a panic attack, I don’t know, maybe it’s awe–but it doesn’t feel so good. My priest is wonderful, but after years of going every month, I still struggle through it. Afterward I feel great, but making it through is a challenge. I even asked in the Ask an Apologist forum what I could do–I’m sorry to say, the advice wasn’t very helpful–I was told to make a list and take it with me. I did it, although I don’t know how kosher that was, it felt pretty stilted, though I guess I was more thorough in my confession. It seemed like cheating having a little crib sheet there, and I seem to remember reading or hearing somewhere that that WASN"T a good way to deal with difficulties in the confessional.

I will continue, because our Lord told us to and truly, after the slight pain it takes to “do it” the graces are very real. In fact–I go the 1st Saturday of every month, so today’s the day!

God bless and Happy New Year!

 

[ThornGenX]

I usually start out formal but then my confessions tend to drift to the informal and chatty side. Even when I write a list for confession, I sometimes leave something out . One of improvements I want to make for the New Year (with God’s grace) is to go to confession more often. At my parish, they have confession once a week before the Vigil mass for Sunday. Weekly confession sounds good to me, but I have not tried it yet.

 

[Fergal]

I am very much aware that it is a personal meeting with Christ and therefore treat it with great reverence.

Like yourself I too start in the same way and progress likewise. It is all that is required. Really there should be no ‘chattiness’ unless it comes from the priest in the form of Spiritual Guidance, but general chattiness should be avoided.

My guess is short and sweet. Especially if you are a regular.

I know that when I go (once a week) there are generally a lot of people queueing and so I am conscious of the demand on the Priest. Still we have some who week by week think it is their right to spend 20mins - half an hour ‘talking’ to Father. In one case a certain lady was so lound in the Confessional that she could be heard showing Father things from a plastic bag and telling him that she would bring more with her next week. Is this proper in the Confessional???

I am not judging I just feel that they should be a little more aware of the demands on one Priest who sits in the Confessional for 3 solid hours once a week. Same Priest each time. It is not the only time for Confession either. We have Confession on Friday evening after 7.30pm Mass, Saturday morning after 10am Mass here and Saturday morning in the other Church after 11am Mass.

If the number of penitents is large I will say to him, “Father I am conscious of the number of Penitents waiting and so I will be brief” for which he is always thankful. I am also letting him know that there is quite a number to get through.

The Holy Father has said two years ago on Holy Thursday that Confessio time is not to be used as time for counselling. If this is necessary then an appointment should be made with a Priest and the counselling take place at another time convienient to both parties.

To finish i mirror your rite of Confession exactly.

 

[Cradle]

I follow the “formula” to the letter, also. But I do have trouble unloading all my sins sometimes (I guess I need more humility…) since I’m not the talkative type at all and usually very reserved. When I started out going more often (I used to go months without it! O.O) I made sure to have a list, but now that I’m more used to frequent Confession I’m slowly being weaned out. Contrary to the other poster, it actually did help a little.

I have a question, though… Recently I did the conditional confession thing, “perfect contrition of heart” (or at least attempted) with intention to receive the Sacrament of Penance as soon as possible, because I couldn’t get to Confession before Mass and, well, there was other stuff, but the thing is… I’m going to Confession on Monday and I’m really torn about something. Since I received Communion in that state, do I have to confess it as “reception of the Eucharist under grave sin” banghead: ) + the grave sin for the perfect contrition to have been valid or is it fine to just confess the grave sin? Please help!!!

 

[Fergal]

Dear Cradle,

I too have had that problem and have openly asked my Spiritual Director what exactly ‘perfect contrition’ means. I twice tried to use the formula of heartfelt perfect contrition, Eucharist and then Confession and was told that really this formula only applies in two moments of urgent necessity 1. In danger of death 2. If it is impossible to stay in ones seat and refrain from receiving. In other words if to refrain was a cause of great scandal then it would be permissible to receive, providing you go to Confession at the next available opportunity. We should never frequent this method and really it should apply very rarely. Never under any other circumstance. It is better to be clear about these things.

The Lord loves a contrite heart. After all the Psalms say "My sacrifice a contrite Spirit. A humbles and contrite heart you will not spurn." I do not know if either of the cases above applied to you or not. If they did then confess the sin and tell the Priest that you made an act of perfect contrition before hand and also mention the situation that made the perfect contrition and reception of the Eucharist a necessity. If neither of the two situations above applied to you then you must confess your grave sin and the fact that you received the Eucharist in the state of mortal sin. Tell the Priest that you misunderstood the conception of perfect Contrition and he will explain it to you.

In one sentence the real act of perfect contrition is availing of the Sacrament of Confession.

Do not be afraid. Confess it and realise that it is a great at of humility to do so. Be at peace with Christ my friend. The Lord knows your heart so present it to him for healing.

See also catholic.com/library/Who_Can_Receive_Communion.asp

 

[4_marks]

I prefer kneeling rather than face to face. I prefer a confessional or a reconciliation room to an open corner of the sanctuary during a penance service.

I begin with “Bless me Father, for I have sinned” but unless prompted to by the priest/confessor, I usually do not say when my last confession was. I receive the sacrament frequently (usually weekly or bi-weekly). I mention particular sins that I am aware of and also general attitudes of concern to me. I normally end with “For these, and all the sins of my life, I am truly sorry.” And then I make an Act of Contrition and perform the penance assigned.

It is a wonderful Sacrament, and a blessed encounter with Christ and His Church whereby I am renewed and strengthened to live out the life for which I have been purposed by God in faith, hope and charity.

 

[4_marks]

Cradle:

I have a question, though… Recently I did the conditional confession thing, “perfect contrition of heart” (or at least attempted) with intention to receive the Sacrament of Penance as soon as possible, because I couldn’t get to Confession before Mass and, well, there was other stuff, but the thing is… I’m going to Confession on Monday and I’m really torn about something. Since I received Communion in that state, do I have to confess it as “reception of the Eucharist under grave sin” banghead: ) + the grave sin for the perfect contrition to have been valid or is it fine to just confess the grave sin? Please help!!!

Jimmy Akin or Karl Keating spoke about this on one of the Catholic Answers Live shows this past year. I think it was in November or December. You might want to go to the Radio section of this website and search through the archived shows. The answer given was very edifying.

 

[Cradle]

Fergal, thank you very much for your help. It’s not the answer I was hoping to get, but I guess that’s how it goes.

4 marks, I’ll make sure to check that out (gotta love that Karl Keating!), thanks.

 

[Fergal]

Dear Cradle,

You are now where I was only weeks ago. I am so glad to be able to share what I have learned. Never fear what we have to tell rather rejoice that Jesus Christ through the actions of the priest is willing to take all our mistakes unto himself.

God Bless you now and always.