How does your thought process work on this matter?

[anytimequilter]

I know this is a vague or even general thought, but its something that I do think about and even worry about at times. I have learned in my life to talk about things and see how other people feel and think often that helps me get of out my own “thought rut” and gets my “wheels spinning”.

There are times in life when we all come to changes (or lack of changes) and we don’t always know what to do or what is the greater good. As they say “what would Jesus do?”

Sometimes these situations are basic and no problem; however there are times when I struggle and I am unsure. Then WWJD isn’t so easy, because personally Jesus has never spoken to me in a voice that my human ears and mind can grasp. Seriously if He would tell I would do exactly what He told me to do… honestly I would. If only it worked that way

I am wondering how other people deal with these situations - does anyone want to share? I know the first step is to pray for guidance, but then what?

Where I am now I feel stuck and I am concerned that I need to “do” something. Then again I say “its in God’s hands”… how do you process and decide the times when you need to “do” and when to leave it in God’s hands?

With all my heart I want to leave it in God’s hands, I mean He knows best. But then there is this voice inside telling me that if I don’t work towards what I want how can I expect to get it? Then how do I know what “work” I need to do… then I get torn because I know in Psalms it says “be still and know that I am God”.

I am torn and wanting some food for thought if anyone has anything to offer

 

[St_Francis]

A lot of these problems can be solved by the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Or, as one saint said: Act as if it all depends on you; pray as if it all depends on God.

By act, it means to take action. Do what you can do, and the rest IS up to God.

 

[anytimequilter]

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Or, as one saint said: Act as if it all depends on you; pray as if it all depends on God.

By act, it means to take action. Do what you can do, and the rest IS up to God.

I agree. I have this hanging on my wall right next to my TV

I suppose my struggle is when anxiety settles in that my mind starts to spin.

I sometimes wonder how do I know if I can change these things if I don’t try - don’t I then have to try? How do I know if I have tried enough or if I am doing “it” wrong? or am I just being lazy or not trying hard enough? Is trying 1 time enough? Do I need to try 10 times? 100 times? try a different path? you can see where I am going - I don’t give up easy

“Acting as if it all depends on me” is alot of pressure… but that is exactly how I feel.

I don’t doubt God at all… it is myself that I doubt. And my fear that my actions will put me in a bad situation - or keep me from something good.

Am I the only one who’s thoughts spin like this?

 

[puzzledtoo]

May you be filled with loving kindness. May you be well. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you be happy.

 

[St_Francis]

I agree. I have this hanging on my wall right next to my TV

I suppose my struggle is when anxiety settles in that my mind starts to spin.

I sometimes wonder how do I know if I can change these things if I don’t try - don’t I then have to try? How do I know if I have tried enough or if I am doing “it” wrong? or am I just being lazy or not trying hard enough? Is trying 1 time enough? Do I need to try 10 times? 100 times? try a different path? you can see where I am going - I don’t give up easy

“Acting as if it all depends on me” is alot of pressure… but that is exactly how I feel.

I don’t doubt God at all… it is myself that I doubt. And my fear that my actions will put me in a bad situation - or keep me from something good.

Am I the only one who’s thoughts spin like this?

Well, you’re certainly not the only one–I do too!

Say Jill wants a job. She needs to act: to look for rmployers who need help, to submit applications, to show up for interviews. She can’t rely on God to get her a job without doing those things.

But the rest is up to God, right?

Now, I once really wanted to be on time to get simewhere 1/2 hour away. I left an hour and a half before the appointed time… and got stuck in a 2- hour traffic jam!

We are human, and therefore not perfect. If we do what is correct and/or reasonable, we have done our part. Being able to foretell the future --traffic jams, illness, and the like-- is beyond what we can do, so we should not worry about what we would have done differently had we but known, right?

So sometimes we just have to carry a cross we didn’t think of…

 

[anytimequilter]

Say Jill wants a job. She needs to act: to look for rmployers who need help, to submit applications, to show up for interviews. She can’t rely on God to get her a job without doing those things.

But the rest is up to God, right?

Exactly… pray to God but row towards the shore.

I guess the root of my anxiety is that my choices and decisions prevent my life from going the way that God intends. I used to believe that God is a big boy and He will get his way, that I couldn’t really mess it up. That He could “correct” my direction to adjust for my incorrect choices… but sometimes when I see the world I can’t get myself to believe that any longer.

I had a niece who was killed in a car accident, through no fault of her own - she wasn’t driving and I think that changed my view. God didn’t help her. We lost her through the stupidity of the driver of the other car

Since then I see all of the people living with their life choices that have led them to some very horrible places. Homeless, drugs, sexual issues and on and on and on. I know there are also people who have good lives from their choices - - or even what seems to be dumb luck. They make bad decisions too and still have a family in a loving home that is warm and plenty to eat.

I guess I am somewhere in between the two extremes praying that I don’t find myself in the bad situation. Praying that I can find that that loving family and home. And wondering how I make the best choices that I can to find the spot that God intends for me.

I realize there is not an answer… but I just have musings and don’t know where to go with it all

 

[GratefulFred]

I agree the FIRST step is to pray for guidance.

But we cannot then just wait until God speaks to us personally. God has actually spoken already. We just need to read it. A short list:

The Bible
The Catholic Catechism
The Writings of Popes, Church Fathers, Apologists.
The writings of numerous other books and articles dealing with the circumstance we are dealing with.

We must seek out information from various sources. A google search is helpful. We must analyze the data we gather and try to organize it in a way that is useful to us. Actually writing down on paper the key points helps us reflect and to see the larger picture. We can certainly discuss with those we trust.

We can continue to pray for guidance as we acquire more knowledge and various ways to proceed.

I know the Bible is thick. I suggest you read the Book of Proverbs as a start.
Then we must proceed. Waiting for God to do it is usually not how God works. He expects us to make efforts.

And let time be our ally. Change takes time. And make corrections as needed.

 

[St_Francis]

Exactly… pray to God but row towards the shore.

I guess the root of my anxiety is that my choices and decisions prevent my life from going the way that God intends. I used to believe that God is a big boy and He will get his way, that I couldn’t really mess it up. That He could “correct” my direction to adjust for my incorrect choices… but sometimes when I see the world I can’t get myself to believe that any longer.

I had a niece who was killed in a car accident, through no fault of her own - she wasn’t driving and I think that changed my view. God didn’t help her. We lost her through the stupidity of the driver of the other car

Since then I see all of the people living with their life choices that have led them to some very horrible places. Homeless, drugs, sexual issues and on and on and on. I know there are also people who have good lives from their choices - - or even what seems to be dumb luck. They make bad decisions too and still have a family in a loving home that is warm and plenty to eat.

I guess I am somewhere in between the two extremes praying that I don’t find myself in the bad situation. Praying that I can find that that loving family and home. And wondering how I make the best choices that I can to find the spot that God intends for me.

I realize there is not an answer… but I just have musings and don’t know where to go with it all

What you describe is really tough! My sympathies to your family on the loss of your niece–the unexpected death of a young relative is a terrible thing to go through.

And this is a strange aspect of our faith. But the good thing about Catholicism is that we learn that God does draw good out of evil, and that our suffering can count for something, and that we aren’t *stuck *in a place where misery is just there, torturing us for no reason.

We find ourselves in bad situation through no fault of our own, but then, so did Christ. We have to get to the other side of this sort of hump which prevents us from seeing that this life is such a small time of our eternal existence, that what is considered important by those around us is not what is important to God.

It can be very hard seeing that people who do bad things have good stuff! But are they being drawn towards God at all by their situations? Probably not.

And it can be hard to see good people suffering… but their situations do draw them to God, sometimes if only to wrestle with Him.

This does get better, often slowly. Pray, read, and pray some more. Talk to God very honestly.

 

[guanophore]

I know this is a vague or even general thought, but its something that I do think about and even worry about at times. I have learned in my life to talk about things and see how other people feel and think often that helps me get of out my own “thought rut” and gets my “wheels spinning”.

There are times in life when we all come to changes (or lack of changes) and we don’t always know what to do or what is the greater good. As they say “what would Jesus do?”

Sometimes these situations are basic and no problem; however there are times when I struggle and I am unsure. Then WWJD isn’t so easy, because personally Jesus has never spoken to me in a voice that my human ears and mind can grasp. Seriously if He would tell I would do exactly what He told me to do… honestly I would. If only it worked that way

I am wondering how other people deal with these situations - does anyone want to share? I know the first step is to pray for guidance, but then what?

Where I am now I feel stuck and I am concerned that I need to “do” something. Then again I say “its in God’s hands”… how do you process and decide the times when you need to “do” and when to leave it in God’s hands?

With all my heart I want to leave it in God’s hands, I mean He knows best. But then there is this voice inside telling me that if I don’t work towards what I want how can I expect to get it? Then how do I know what “work” I need to do… then I get torn because I know in Psalms it says “be still and know that I am God”.

I am torn and wanting some food for thought if anyone has anything to offer

I have never heard God’s voice like that either. I use Lectio Divina, and He speaks to my heart through the Scriptures.

 

[guanophore]

I agree. I have this hanging on my wall right next to my TV

I suppose my struggle is when anxiety settles in that my mind starts to spin.

I sometimes wonder how do I know if I can change these things if I don’t try - don’t I then have to try? How do I know if I have tried enough or if I am doing “it” wrong? or am I just being lazy or not trying hard enough? Is trying 1 time enough? Do I need to try 10 times? 100 times? try a different path? you can see where I am going - I don’t give up easy

“Acting as if it all depends on me” is alot of pressure… but that is exactly how I feel.

I don’t doubt God at all… it is myself that I doubt. And my fear that my actions will put me in a bad situation - or keep me from something good.

Am I the only one who’s thoughts spin like this?

Not at all, many suffer this way. It is cause by fear and a lack of trust in God.

8*There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18–19

He means for us to be at peace. We do what we are convicted in our hearts is right for us to do, then trust that He will make it clear what comes next. We don’t have to trust in ourselves. It is for Him to lead, guide, direct and convict us. All we need do is choose.

 

[anytimequilter]

Not at all, many suffer this way. It is cause by fear and a lack of trust in God.

8*There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18–19

He means for us to be at peace. We do what we are convicted in our hearts is right for us to do, then trust that He will make it clear what comes next. We don’t have to trust in ourselves. It is for Him to lead, guide, direct and convict us. All we need do is choose.

I understand this train of thought. But, to me, this seems to overlook the free will that God has given us.

I do trust God; it is myself that I don’t trust. Since I am aware of the mistakes I have made in my life, I realize that I can make more mistakes. This lack of trust in myself I suppose is what causes me anxiety… especially when there are times that there is not a clear answer. I am not talking about whether to kill someone or commit adultery - - I am talking about when neither choice is a sin. When we are supposed to do the “greater good” The greater good is not always a clear choice either.

I have never heard God’s voice like that either. I use Lectio Divina, and He speaks to my heart through the Scriptures.
Yesterday 1:30 pm

I don’t know what this is, so thank you. I will check into this

 

[StGerardMajella]

I am wondering how other people deal with these situations - does anyone want to share? I know the first step is to pray for guidance, but then what?

Where I am now I feel stuck and I am concerned that I need to “do” something. Then again I say “its in God’s hands”… how do you process and decide the times when you need to “do” and when to leave it in God’s hands?

Whenever you have doubts about a particular decision, step up and increase your spiritual disciplines. That might mean going to Mass every day, or reading the Bible, or saying 3 decades of the Rosary - or a combination of all of these. Go to confession, clear your conscience.

You will find that if you focus and direct your energies on spiritual disciplines - prayer, intensive Bible study, Mass, Rosary, etc. - your decision-making will improve. In general, life seems to go better overall when you direct your attention on the Creator.

And there are many ways to get close to Him.

I do trust God; it is myself that I don’t trust. Since I am aware of the mistakes I have made in my life, I realize that I can make more mistakes. This lack of trust in myself I suppose is what causes me anxiety…

Your anxiety will lessen with an increase in spiritual disciplines as described above.

 

[decatholic]

Exactly… pray to God but row towards the shore.

I guess the root of my anxiety is that my choices and decisions prevent my life from going the way that God intends. I used to believe that God is a big boy and He will get his way, that I couldn’t really mess it up. That He could “correct” my direction to adjust for my incorrect choices… but sometimes when I see the world I can’t get myself to believe that any longer.

I had a niece who was killed in a car accident, through no fault of her own - she wasn’t driving and I think that changed my view. God didn’t help her. We lost her through the stupidity of the driver of the other car

I don’t know that God didn’t help her. I’m not God and therefore am not above Him to know what help is. He made me. When it is my time, it is my time. Psalm 95 in the office helps me.

The converse God let her live does not mean God did help her. That thinking and attitude doesn’t pass the logic test so the error is in the converse.

But for the Grace of God go I can be adapted to But for me there I go.
My sponsor told me, “When in doubt don’t” and he also enlightened me about the desert experience. We are not always in tune with the joy of a spiritual life and that lack of joy does not mean we are not doing God’s will.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.

 

[guanophore]

I understand this train of thought. But, to me, this seems to overlook the free will that God has given us.

You are right that however we frame this, we need to get a balanced perspective between what belongs to us, and what belongs to God.

I do trust God; it is myself that I don’t trust.

Well, the bottom line is, we will never be able to trust ourselves. As we suffer from concupiscence, as well as the limitations of our nature, so are prone to mistakes. For that reason, we need to develop more and more trust in God.

Since I am aware of the mistakes I have made in my life, I realize that I can make more mistakes. This lack of trust in myself I suppose is what causes me anxiety… especially when there are times that there is not a clear answer.

It is true that we are made more humble by our mistakes and shortcomings, but what you seem to be implying here is that God is unable to write straight with crooked lines. God is able to make good come out of every single mistake we have every made, or will make. Therefore we need not focus on avoiding making mistakes, but focus on trusting in Him that whatever happens or fails to happen, he can work good in and through it.

I am not talking about whether to kill someone or commit adultery - - I am talking about when neither choice is a sin. When we are supposed to do the “greater good” The greater good is not always a clear choice either.

Absolutely. All we can do is make the best choice available to us given what we know and how we feel we are led by the Holy Spirit.

 

[St_Francis]

One problem I have a lot is to use society’s yardstick rather than God’s, or trying to use both. Say I have the chance to work in the divorce field of a firm that caters to movie stars. I could make a lot of money! But, should one help people do the wrong thing, or “lose” money by helping couples reconcile?

It is hard to make decisions; God gave us rules to help us, but society’s rules don’t always mesh with society, right? But if we do what God considers right, we may end up annoying others or causing them to make fun of us or think less of us. If a young actress refuses a job which involves nudity, others may think she is foolish and she may fail as an actress, while succeeding as a child of God.

Paragraph 800 in St Faustina’s diary says this:
If one does not know what is better, one must reflect, consider and seek advice, becuase one must not act with an uncertain conscience. When uncertain, say to yuourself: “Whatever I do will he good. I have the intention of doing good.” The Lord God accepts that and considers it as good. One should not worry if, after some time, one sees that these things are not good. God looks at the intention with which we begin, and will reward us accordingly. This is a principle which we ought to follow.

 

[anytimequilter]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, it does help me.

I don’t know that God didn’t help her. I’m not God and therefore am not above Him to know what help is. He made me. When it is my time, it is my time. Psalm 95 in the office helps me.

This has crossed my mind as well. We never know when its our time;however it has left my brother, his wife and their other kids really hurting

It is true that we are made more humble by our mistakes and shortcomings, but what you seem to be implying here is that God is unable to write straight with crooked lines. God is able to make good come out of every single mistake we have every made, or will make. Therefore we need not focus on avoiding making mistakes, but focus on trusting in Him that whatever happens or fails to happen, he can work good in and through it.

I do believe that… well I try to believe that. Problem is that when I look around at all of the problems I can’t understand how to apply that thought. Just as one example, all of the homeless people. Are they there from their bad decisions or are their bad decisions part of God’s plan? Did God not help them - or did they push his help away?

Whenever you have doubts about a particular decision, step up and increase your spiritual disciplines. That might mean going to Mass every day, or reading the Bible, or saying 3 decades of the Rosary - or a combination of all of these. Go to confession, clear your conscience.

I would go to mass every day, I truly think that I would. However this is not possible I have to be at 6 am and the local church as has mass at 8 am. Those of you are able to do that are fortunate. I have found the adoration chapel for my lunches - but funny thing is that has become part of my anxiety (different story) I do pray more but I don’t know if you can ever pray enough