How far is too far for Catholics?

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TeenageConvert

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I’ve only really dated 2 girls and the farthest I’d ever gone with them were short kisses when I saw them or when we were leaving or something. Then I fell in love with a girl who I’d only met once(we saw each other for a week when we met and flirted a lot, and then we talked on the phone and texted and facebooked each other for a year and so there was never a physical aspect of our relationship…but I loved her still) It couldn’t work out though because we lived too far apart so 2 months ago we stoped talking and I was depressed for a while, and really didn’t even want to think about another girl. It still hurts to think about her but I really want to go find a new girl…but I’m not sure how far I’m supposed to go with girls as a Catholic.
I know premarital sex is wrong, I would never do that.
I know that fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex are all sinful.
Is everything else allowed? Where exactly is “the line?”
Like last night I was with a girl at the movies and I had my arm around her, and kissed her after the movie was over. It was in front of a bunch of people, and it wasn’t lustful. I didn’t sin did I? And exactly how far can I go without sinning?
 
TeenageConvert said:
I’ve only really dated 2 girls and the farthest I’d ever gone with them were short kisses when I saw them or when we were leaving or something. Then I fell in love with a girl who I’d only met once(we saw each other for a week when we met and flirted a lot, and then we talked on the phone and texted and facebooked each other for a year and so there was never a physical aspect of our relationship…but I loved her still) It couldn’t work out though because we lived too far apart so 2 months ago we stoped talking and I was depressed for a while, and really didn’t even want to think about another girl. It still hurts to think about her but I really want to go find a new girl…but I’m not sure how far I’m supposed to go with girls as a Catholic.
I know premarital sex is wrong, I would never do that.
I know that fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex are all sinful.
Is everything else allowed? Where exactly is “the line?”
Like last night I was with a girl at the movies and I had my arm around her, and kissed her after the movie was over. It was in front of a bunch of people, and it wasn’t lustful. I didn’t sin did I? And exactly how far can I go without sinning?
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i would say also you cant see her naked just 2 add
 
TeenageConvert said:
I’ve only really dated 2 girls and the farthest I’d ever gone with them were short kisses when I saw them or when we were leaving or something. Then I fell in love with a girl who I’d only met once(we saw each other for a week when we met and flirted a lot, and then we talked on the phone and texted and facebooked each other for a year and so there was never a physical aspect of our relationship…but I loved her still) It couldn’t work out though because we lived too far apart so 2 months ago we stoped talking and I was depressed for a while, and really didn’t even want to think about another girl. It still hurts to think about her but I really want to go find a new girl…but I’m not sure how far I’m supposed to go with girls as a Catholic.
I know premarital sex is wrong, I would never do that.
I know that fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex are all sinful.
Is everything else allowed? Where exactly is “the line?”
Like last night I was with a girl at the movies and I had my arm around her, and kissed her after the movie was over. It was in front of a bunch of people, and it wasn’t lustful. I didn’t sin did I? And exactly how far can I go without sinning?
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No line.
You know that all ends with a penis inside a vagina (PIV), to put it bluntly.
Now, you are further away and closer to PIV.
Do you know that when a plain takes flight there is a line limit (LL). Before LL, the airplane can brake safely and stop. After LL, the plane cannot break safely for it will overtake the airport, so to survive, it must take off.
I would say that between a man and a wife there is a LL, before which you can stop. After LL, you cannot stop anymore and will take off to PIV.

I think that you must learn as a couple where the LL is. There are girls which have a short runway, others which have a very long runway. There is no fixed rule.

You must study to take a pilot brevet.
 
TeenageConvert said:
I’ve only really dated 2 girls and the farthest I’d ever gone with them were short kisses when I saw them or when we were leaving or something. Then I fell in love with a girl who I’d only met once(we saw each other for a week when we met and flirted a lot, and then we talked on the phone and texted and facebooked each other for a year and so there was never a physical aspect of our relationship…but I loved her still) It couldn’t work out though because we lived too far apart so 2 months ago we stoped talking and I was depressed for a while, and really didn’t even want to think about another girl. It still hurts to think about her but I really want to go find a new girl…but I’m not sure how far I’m supposed to go with girls as a Catholic.
I know premarital sex is wrong, I would never do that.
I know that fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex are all sinful.
Is everything else allowed? Where exactly is “the line?”
Like last night I was with a girl at the movies and I had my arm around her, and kissed her after the movie was over. It was in front of a bunch of people, and it wasn’t lustful. I didn’t sin did I? And exactly how far can I go without sinning?
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No, you didn’t sin.

Look at this page. There are various questions and answers on “How far is too far?”

The standard I always use (based on previous research I did) is holding hands, hugging and ‘short’ kisses - no french kissing, no ‘making out’.
 
TeenageConvert said:
I’ve only really dated 2 girls and the farthest I’d ever gone with them were short kisses when I saw them or when we were leaving or something. Then I fell in love with a girl who I’d only met once(we saw each other for a week when we met and flirted a lot, and then we talked on the phone and texted and facebooked each other for a year and so there was never a physical aspect of our relationship…but I loved her still) It couldn’t work out though because we lived too far apart so 2 months ago we stoped talking and I was depressed for a while, and really didn’t even want to think about another girl. It still hurts to think about her but I really want to go find a new girl…but I’m not sure how far I’m supposed to go with girls as a Catholic.
I know premarital sex is wrong, I would never do that.
I know that fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex are all sinful.
Is everything else allowed? Where exactly is “the line?”
Like last night I was with a girl at the movies and I had my arm around her, and kissed her after the movie was over. It was in front of a bunch of people, and it wasn’t lustful. I didn’t sin did I? And exactly how far can I go without sinning?
Click to expand...
Whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your parents is too far!
 
Don’t go into anything that is physically sexual.
Physical sexuality is for marriage, and that includes touching or passionate kissing.
Get to know each other and to enjoy each other as fellow human beings.
If you like and respect each other sufficiently then you can think about future marriage.
Too many people marry because they have sex as the centre of their relationship.
That kind of marriage doesn’t have a firm foundation.
You need to know each other and respect each other as truly good persons, otherwise you face a probable unhappy marriage.

As a general site, this has it mapped:

Considerations
Code: 
Catholic People website suggests that healthy dating relationships start with simple elements such as keeping eye contact, maintaining your appearance, being polite and treating others how you would want to be treated. It is also suggested that you date others who are of the same faith, spend time with the other person's family and hold one another accountable for actions.
Bible
Code: 
The Catholic religion bases its guidelines on scripture from the Bible. Common scriptures that refer to dating and relationships can most often be found in the books of Genesis, Psalms, First and Second Corinthians and Matthew, according to the Got Questions website.
Warnings
Code: 
Catholic Answers warns to not commit to anyone until marriage as well as to not put anyone before God. Premarital sex while dating is also not accepted in the Catholic faith
Read more: Catholic Dating Guidelines | eHow.com ehow.com/facts_7369579_catholic-dating-guidelines.html#ixzz1exSpCRHh

“The concept of dating is about eighty years old-as old as the automobile. Nowadays we’re so used to it that we might not be able to imagine any other approach to relationships. But back before the car, the purpose of investing time with a young man or woman was to see if he or she was a potential marriage partner. The reason you expressed romantic interest was to woo the person towards that lifelong commitment. This process usually took place within the context of family activities. When the car was invented, this courting could be divorced from spending time with family, because the couple could leave the family behind. Soon, the whole point of spending time together shifted from discernment of marriage to wooing for the sake of wooing. People would begin a relationship simply because they found the other to be cute and fun.”

You might like to read the rest of the information at this site.

archive.catholic.com/chastity/Q3.asp
 
The question about what is too far is not a good way to approach it.

If you were at the Grand Canyon, would you try see where the line to going too close to the edge is? If you did, by the time you figured it out, it’s too late.

Rather, ask yourself how you hope people will treat your future spouse. With respect, right? Not pressuring him/her for sex, not making out, and so on. Chaste kissing may be appropriate–but it’s difficult sometimes to stop there.

Dating is not about seeing how far you can go, but about getting to know how compatible you are together–in a spiritual and psychological sense. Do you help each other be better persons? Do you work well together? Do you enjoy each other as friends? Do you share interests–but also find the other person expands your interests?

Dating is also about finding someone to dedicate your life to. If they are a loser, someone you will not marry–why keep dating them? They are only keeping you from better persons, from finding someone worthy of your love.

If those questions all have positive answers, and you decide to marry one another–then, if you have done the preparatory work to build a real relationship, based on the self-sacrificing love Christ showed us, then I guarantee that you will find ways to make things work–and your love will blossom as you never could have expected.
 
thistle said:
Whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your parents is too far!
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Awesome answer!

I might add…

whatever you wouldn’t do in the company of Mary the Mother of God and Jesus Christ.
 
domandcarols said:
I hate when people say this. I would never even give my girlfriend a short kiss in front of our parents. >.<
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I get what the saying is “trying to say”, but I don’t like it either. I would not even kiss my husband in front of my parents. Only exception, the wedding kiss, and I didn’t even like that.
thistle said:
Sometimes the truth hurts.
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What do you mean by the truth? OP asked for guidelines on premarital chastity, another poster said “nothing you wouldn’t do in front of your parents,” additional poster said he would not give his girlfriend a short kiss in front of her parents. So I don’t understand what you’re trying to say. I hope it’s not that a short kiss is sinful.
 
thistle said:
Whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your parents is too far!
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Something tells me that if the OP isn’t ashamed of typing
fingering, handjobs, oral, and anal sex
Click to expand...
onto this forum, he isn’t going to stop at a peck on the lips in front his parents.

I blushed when I read that and I’m a 30-year-old man.😊
 
domandcarols said:
I hate when people say this. I would never even give my girlfriend a short kiss in front of our parents. >.<
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I think it just needs a bit of… extra explanation? Because one most certainly wouldn’t even have chaste sex in front of their parents.:rolleyes:
 
Conor7 said:
Something tells me that if the OP isn’t ashamed of typing onto this forum, he isn’t going to stop at a peck on the lips in front his parents.

I blushed when I read that and I’m a 30-year-old man.😊
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??
The OP sounds like a very mature, respectful young man to me. The fact that he’s even bothering to pose the question shows that he is worlds above most teenagers as far as maturity and holiness goes. He was just being frank with the subject matter. I don’t know why his typing those words would mean that he would not “stop at a peck on the lips in front of his parents.” You will be hard pressed to find a teenager that does not know about those acts, even if they have never participated in them personally (which the OP stated he had not and does not intend to).
 
anp1215 said:
??
The OP sounds like a very mature, respectful young man to me. The fact that he’s even bothering to pose the question shows that he is worlds above most teenagers as far as maturity and holiness goes. He was just being frank with the subject matter. I don’t know why his typing those words would mean that he would not “stop at a peck on the lips in front of his parents.” You will be hard pressed to find a teenager that does not know about those acts, even if they have never participated in them personally (which the OP stated he had not and does not intend to).
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I don’t disagree with you; just a sad attempt at a little humor.
 
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