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lily4465
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I’ll keep you and your mother in my prayers
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shondrea
Guest
Thank you, she could sure use them.
And you as well. I read your story, and really can’t imagine how hard it must be, carrying that in your heart all this time
And you as well. I read your story, and really can’t imagine how hard it must be, carrying that in your heart all this time
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Lief_Erikson
Guest
Dear Lily,
Your post deeply touched my heart. I’ll be praying for you, especially that you choose to enter the fullness of God’s mercy and peace in Confession. For in my experience, and in the Church’s infallible teaching, the Sacrament of Confession is the power of Christ’s healing, His love and His mercy. There is nothing like it in the world, no words to describe it.
You can’t hold your pain in your own heart and keep it to yourself. Christ came into the world to share it.
None of us deserves God’s Mercy, yet He died for us all in spite of this. To not take advantage of His Mercy is to treat it with disrespect and cling to ourselves with pride, as though we were sufficient to manage our suffering. His body was torn apart because of how passionately He loves us individually and intimately. That fact strikes the soul to the heart.
When I went to Confession for the first time, almost two years ago, I knew many people had powerful experiences with God in the Sacrament, but I wasn’t expecting much for myself.
There were scars I had on my heart, sins I committed and had grieved over for years and prayed for forgiveness for again and again. I sometimes “felt” forgiven in the past and tried to get over what I had done, but somehow that didn’t seem to solve anything. The pain remained.
When I went to Confession, there was divine healing. I was sobbing at the end of it, and I could not hold back the tears because God took those old scars in my heart and wiped them away with His tears, His mercy.
Here is a beautiful picture of what happens to each genuinely penitent soul (like your soul is truly penitent) in Confession.
Luke 7:36-50:
Your post deeply touched my heart. I’ll be praying for you, especially that you choose to enter the fullness of God’s mercy and peace in Confession. For in my experience, and in the Church’s infallible teaching, the Sacrament of Confession is the power of Christ’s healing, His love and His mercy. There is nothing like it in the world, no words to describe it.
You can’t hold your pain in your own heart and keep it to yourself. Christ came into the world to share it.
None of us deserves God’s Mercy, yet He died for us all in spite of this. To not take advantage of His Mercy is to treat it with disrespect and cling to ourselves with pride, as though we were sufficient to manage our suffering. His body was torn apart because of how passionately He loves us individually and intimately. That fact strikes the soul to the heart.
When I went to Confession for the first time, almost two years ago, I knew many people had powerful experiences with God in the Sacrament, but I wasn’t expecting much for myself.
There were scars I had on my heart, sins I committed and had grieved over for years and prayed for forgiveness for again and again. I sometimes “felt” forgiven in the past and tried to get over what I had done, but somehow that didn’t seem to solve anything. The pain remained.
When I went to Confession, there was divine healing. I was sobbing at the end of it, and I could not hold back the tears because God took those old scars in my heart and wiped them away with His tears, His mercy.
Here is a beautiful picture of what happens to each genuinely penitent soul (like your soul is truly penitent) in Confession.
Luke 7:36-50:
36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”
40Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me, teacher,” he said.
41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
43Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.”
“You have judged correctly,” Jesus said.
44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”
48Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
49The other guests began to say among themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”
50Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
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Linda_Marie
Guest
My father’s mother had an abortion. This was back when it was illegal, in the 1920’s. Forty odd years later, she had a nervous breakdown when she finally realized that she had murdered her baby and was institutionalized for several weeks as a result.
It affected my father badly as well. When he was a little boy, she told him that if she had known a good abortionist, he never would have been born. All his life, he tried to get his mother to love him but she seemed incapable of it until just before she died.
I wonder about my aunt/uncle who never got a chance at life, about the cousins I might have had. I wonder at the callous attitude of my grandmother. She had held pro-abortion beliefs strongly for so long. My dad suffered a lot at her hands since her abuse went quite a bit beyond telling him she would have had him killed before he was born, had she only known someone to do it. Had abortion been legal back then, I wouldn’t be here.
I hurt for my father. I hurt for my grandmother. I hurt for my lost family. When I found out she had had an abortion, I could never look at her quite the same way again and I mourn the loss of my innocent love for her. I felt so betrayed. It felt quite personal and I’m still struggling with forgiving her.
It affected my father badly as well. When he was a little boy, she told him that if she had known a good abortionist, he never would have been born. All his life, he tried to get his mother to love him but she seemed incapable of it until just before she died.
I wonder about my aunt/uncle who never got a chance at life, about the cousins I might have had. I wonder at the callous attitude of my grandmother. She had held pro-abortion beliefs strongly for so long. My dad suffered a lot at her hands since her abuse went quite a bit beyond telling him she would have had him killed before he was born, had she only known someone to do it. Had abortion been legal back then, I wouldn’t be here.
I hurt for my father. I hurt for my grandmother. I hurt for my lost family. When I found out she had had an abortion, I could never look at her quite the same way again and I mourn the loss of my innocent love for her. I felt so betrayed. It felt quite personal and I’m still struggling with forgiving her.
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lily4465
Guest
Thank you all for your words of faith, kindness and hope.
Lief Erikson:
Thank you for your supportive and ever-hopeful words of healing and love. I am so glad that you found the reconciliation and forgiveness you were searching for through the blessed sacrament of confession. I know now this is the right way for me. I am scared, but pray that God will help me through it.
And thank you also for the beautiful story of the woman who washed Christ’s feet with her tears. His words and the hope of His forgiveness are what keeps me on this earth. I certainly never meant to take God’s mercy lightly. I am just so consumed with self-hatred and guilt, I was afraid to even dare to ask God for His forgiveness. I know that is wrong. He died for our sins and I certainly am no saint, but have tried very hard to live a better life.
Lisa Marie: I will keep you in my prayers. May I just leave you with this?:
I spend each and every day praying for God to bestow His mercy upon my children whose lives I took. I also ask that they forgive me. I do not take this lightly. The fact that I was blessed as a married women with 3, beautiful boys, of my own, has not escaped me. Did the Lord give me back my babies? I don’t think so. But he knows my soul and knew that even though I have committed a mortal sin, perhaps the worst sin ever, the children that I do have are more loved than any 3 children could ever hope to be. Does that erase or even things out as far as the abortions I had are concerned? No, it doesn’t and shouldn’t, and just because I pray for God’s forgiveness, doesn’t mean I will now forget my babies or my role in the loss of their lives. Does it guarantee me the grace of God and a spot in heaven? No. But it will mend a broken and tattered soul and restore my love, relationship to and faith in God. As a parent myself, I know there is nothing my children could ever do that would change or stop my love for them! Nothing!
I can only imagine that the hurtful and cruel words your father’s mother spoke to him, devastated and crushed him. For that I am truly sorry and will hold him and you and your family in my heart and prayers. She sounds like she is bitter and hurtful and in need of God’s love and forgiveness more than us all put together.
I hope you can find peace in your heart where she is concerned and spend all your precious love and energy in loving your dad.
Lief Erikson:
Thank you for your supportive and ever-hopeful words of healing and love. I am so glad that you found the reconciliation and forgiveness you were searching for through the blessed sacrament of confession. I know now this is the right way for me. I am scared, but pray that God will help me through it.
And thank you also for the beautiful story of the woman who washed Christ’s feet with her tears. His words and the hope of His forgiveness are what keeps me on this earth. I certainly never meant to take God’s mercy lightly. I am just so consumed with self-hatred and guilt, I was afraid to even dare to ask God for His forgiveness. I know that is wrong. He died for our sins and I certainly am no saint, but have tried very hard to live a better life.
Lisa Marie: I will keep you in my prayers. May I just leave you with this?:
I spend each and every day praying for God to bestow His mercy upon my children whose lives I took. I also ask that they forgive me. I do not take this lightly. The fact that I was blessed as a married women with 3, beautiful boys, of my own, has not escaped me. Did the Lord give me back my babies? I don’t think so. But he knows my soul and knew that even though I have committed a mortal sin, perhaps the worst sin ever, the children that I do have are more loved than any 3 children could ever hope to be. Does that erase or even things out as far as the abortions I had are concerned? No, it doesn’t and shouldn’t, and just because I pray for God’s forgiveness, doesn’t mean I will now forget my babies or my role in the loss of their lives. Does it guarantee me the grace of God and a spot in heaven? No. But it will mend a broken and tattered soul and restore my love, relationship to and faith in God. As a parent myself, I know there is nothing my children could ever do that would change or stop my love for them! Nothing!
I can only imagine that the hurtful and cruel words your father’s mother spoke to him, devastated and crushed him. For that I am truly sorry and will hold him and you and your family in my heart and prayers. She sounds like she is bitter and hurtful and in need of God’s love and forgiveness more than us all put together.
I hope you can find peace in your heart where she is concerned and spend all your precious love and energy in loving your dad.
L
Linda_Marie
Guest
They have both passed away, within 6 months of one another, in 1989. My grandmother(93) from stomach cancer and my father(67) from lung cancer. She had a hard childhood too. Her father died when she was very young, 8 or 9, and she was sent to live with her older sister and her husband in Puerto Rico. The husband sexually abused her and her sister kicked her out for seducing him. It may answer why she hardened her heart.
I’m sure my grandmother was reconciled with the Church because she used to ask me to take her to Mass with me when I was visiting and she received Communion. My dad must have forgiven her too since he was so devoted to her. He was the one who took care of her when my granddad died. No matter what, she was his mother and he honoured her. I have to let it go and just give it to God.
Thank you for your prayers. My prayers are with you, too. I’m sure it is difficult to live with but this is what God’s Mercy is all about. Repentance for our offences against God and against others and Sacramental absolution mean that our broken relationship with God is healed by His Mercy and His Love. While none of us can ever make up for our sins, He has provided the way to heaven. We are His children. He loves us and He continually calls us back to Himself. He wants all of us to be with Him in heaven. There is great joy in heaven over the repentant sinner. They who were lost, are found and restored to life.
I’m sure my grandmother was reconciled with the Church because she used to ask me to take her to Mass with me when I was visiting and she received Communion. My dad must have forgiven her too since he was so devoted to her. He was the one who took care of her when my granddad died. No matter what, she was his mother and he honoured her. I have to let it go and just give it to God.
Thank you for your prayers. My prayers are with you, too. I’m sure it is difficult to live with but this is what God’s Mercy is all about. Repentance for our offences against God and against others and Sacramental absolution mean that our broken relationship with God is healed by His Mercy and His Love. While none of us can ever make up for our sins, He has provided the way to heaven. We are His children. He loves us and He continually calls us back to Himself. He wants all of us to be with Him in heaven. There is great joy in heaven over the repentant sinner. They who were lost, are found and restored to life.
L
Lief_Erikson
Guest
So do I. I’m praying for you with that intention.Thank you for your supportive and ever-hopeful words of healing and love. I am so glad that you found the reconciliation and forgiveness you were searching for through the blessed sacrament of confession. I know now this is the right way for me. I am scared, but pray that God will help me through it.
I’m so glad you made this decision. I think it’s the best possible thing you could do.
God bless you.And thank you also for the beautiful story of the woman who washed Christ’s feet with her tears. His words and the hope of His forgiveness are what keeps me on this earth. I certainly never meant to take God’s mercy lightly. I am just so consumed with self-hatred and guilt, I was afraid to even dare to ask God for His forgiveness. I know that is wrong. He died for our sins and I certainly am no saint, but have tried very hard to live a better life.
C
crazzeto
Guest
Lily,
I want to thank you for being brave enough to post that powerful story of your experience with abortion. I know how much courage it must have taken to even think the thoughts to type this.
I just want you to know, that God loves you, and that he’s ready to forgive you when you’re ready to ask (assuming you haven’t gone to confession). I would exhort you to remember Mark Chapter 3:
drbo.org/chapter/48003.htm
So don’t fall into dispare, muster up that tramendous courage you showed here and march your self over to that confessional. Jesus is ready to forgive you!
The last suggestion I have, is talk to your priest about what counsoling options you might have. I know there is project Rachel in many area’s, which is designed to help victems of abortion, such as your self, make some peace with the past.
God bless you,
I want to thank you for being brave enough to post that powerful story of your experience with abortion. I know how much courage it must have taken to even think the thoughts to type this.
I just want you to know, that God loves you, and that he’s ready to forgive you when you’re ready to ask (assuming you haven’t gone to confession). I would exhort you to remember Mark Chapter 3:
drbo.org/chapter/48003.htm
(Mar 3:28) Amen I say to you that all sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and the blasphemies wherewith they shall blaspheme:
The only sin that’s unforgivable is the sin against the holy spirit, that is to say the sin to think God can’t forgive you. Judas didnt’ fall because he betrayed the Lord, he fell because he didn’t trust him and gave into dispare.(Mar 3:29) But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost, shall never have forgiveness, but shall be guilty of an everlasting sin.
So don’t fall into dispare, muster up that tramendous courage you showed here and march your self over to that confessional. Jesus is ready to forgive you!
The last suggestion I have, is talk to your priest about what counsoling options you might have. I know there is project Rachel in many area’s, which is designed to help victems of abortion, such as your self, make some peace with the past.
God bless you,
C
cmscms
Guest
First of all, the biggest pet peave I have about abortion is the way they put 100% of the blame on the women. As much as I am against abortion, I can sympathize with a woman who is not thinking clearly because she has an unwanted pregnancy. I will NEVER sympathize with a doctor who chooses to perform abortions for a living. I believe that is the person who is the most in the wrong.
I also would like to say trying to stop abortion will never work because it is putting the buggy before the horse. Get rid of the strip bars, pornography, soap operas, skimpy clothes, and the abortion rate will decline on its own.
Lastly, how has it affect me. I had a friend who became pregnant and decided to have an abortion. I tried to hate the sin and love the sinner. BIG mistake. She became so hard to be around, her maternity clock started to tick off the wall and she started to mistreat me.
The next time I find out someone is planning to have an abortion I will simply say ‘God is the judge, but in my exprience after an abortion, a woman becomes unbearble to be around and I don’t have it in me to be there for you’
Harsh but true
CM
PS the saddest part when my friend had an abortion, she then admitted to me she had one when she was much younger and she said to me ‘The only difference is last time I was too young to know what I was doing’ And she did it anyway
I also would like to say trying to stop abortion will never work because it is putting the buggy before the horse. Get rid of the strip bars, pornography, soap operas, skimpy clothes, and the abortion rate will decline on its own.
Lastly, how has it affect me. I had a friend who became pregnant and decided to have an abortion. I tried to hate the sin and love the sinner. BIG mistake. She became so hard to be around, her maternity clock started to tick off the wall and she started to mistreat me.
The next time I find out someone is planning to have an abortion I will simply say ‘God is the judge, but in my exprience after an abortion, a woman becomes unbearble to be around and I don’t have it in me to be there for you’
Harsh but true
CM
PS the saddest part when my friend had an abortion, she then admitted to me she had one when she was much younger and she said to me ‘The only difference is last time I was too young to know what I was doing’ And she did it anyway
M
motherofjames
Guest
Lily,
Please visit Rachel’s Vineyard at www.rachelsvineyard.org for post-abortive healing and possibly attend at retreat.
priestsforlife.org is another good website.
Blessings,
MOJ
Please visit Rachel’s Vineyard at www.rachelsvineyard.org for post-abortive healing and possibly attend at retreat.
priestsforlife.org is another good website.
Blessings,
MOJ
M
Marlow
Guest
Today there are 1.25 million abortions a year in the US. If it were illegal, back alley abortions would be a handfull. Don’t tell me that’s not a difference.Making abortion illegal isn’t going to resolve it: they’ll just resort to back alley abortions, or home-made abortions, some of which so darned simple that I won’t mention it here - just to NOT give anyone any bad ideas.
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lily4465
Guest
Again, thank you to all who have given words of support and non-judgment and offers of prayer and the hope of forgiveness.
cmscms: I am sorry that you have had such a horrible experience with someone you knew who went through this. It sounds like her issues overcame her ability to treat you with the respect and love you deserve. I’ll keep her and you in my prayers.
cmscms: I am sorry that you have had such a horrible experience with someone you knew who went through this. It sounds like her issues overcame her ability to treat you with the respect and love you deserve. I’ll keep her and you in my prayers.
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