How important is sex to you?

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Having been married less than a year, I haven’t got as much experience to go by as some of the other posters, but I’ll say this:

During our engagement, we took time to communicate about many facets of our married life, including this. We believed it was important for us to be able to be vulnerable and open to each other both in and out of bed. It was important that we discover any impediments to this before we married, so that we could give ourselves to each other freely and completely when we took our vows. Neither of us believed in pre-marital sex, but my husband approaches every aspect of his life with an open mind for the will of God, and I had no reason to believe that sex would be any exception to this.

When I chose my husband, I picked him because I believed he would be the kind of husband who would, as the scriptures command, love his wife “As Christ loves the Church.” I chose to marry a man who is kind, patient, and works very hard to be sensitive to my emotional and spiritual needs. In short, I married a man who is, in every respect, a very good husband. 🙂
 
I’ve been wildly attracted to dh since elementary school days. It hasn’t changed a bit.:love:
 
Hmm. I picked 8…I think it’s important…but I could live with out it if I had to. It’s weird…I felt like there was a lot more sexual desire/tension to battle BEFORE we got married and then after we got married it kinda…disapated.

I definately didn’t base my decision on whether or not I thought my husband would be a good bed partner…because I had nothing else to compare him to anyways. We just got married in May, and are expecting child #1…and that has affected things as well. Sexual relations are important to me more for the intimacy they create, the physical pleasure is the extra stuff.

Also I would note that one who is impotent…that is, incapable of having marital relations, is unable to get married in the Church anyways, b/c for a marriage to be sacramentally valid it must be consumated…there was a whole other thread on that topic. So I would say, no I would not marry someone who physically could not have sex, because then our marriage could not be sacramental. If the physical impairment came later…after consumation, then I’d have no problem (although I am sure it would a struggle. Mmmmm sacrifice.)
 
I’m not married, nor do I have a girlfriend (nor have I ever had a girlfriend). But…

I must say that sex is very important to me. The stereotypical guy response, I know. I can’t say I desire the sort of sex that we’re often portrayed wanting though. Pure, chaste, and holy sex is what is so important to me: loving, and true to our design (in the image and likeness of God). 🙂

I can’t see myself not marrying and giving myself entirely to a woman so that we might attain for each other the salvation of our souls, and so that we might also bring new life into our marriage and the world.

So yeah. Pretty important if you ask me. That I feel so strongly about this must be some sort of indication of where my vocation lies. I’ll put a 10. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that!

edit:
haha I just realized you were asking the ladies. Sowwy!
 
OK first understand that I have a rather screwed up outlook on sex because of the life I have led. I married when I was 22, he wasn’t much interested in sex before we were married and I really mistook it for respecting me. Well, things didn’t pick up after the vows. I thought I must be doing something wrong…I wasn’t very experienced so I just figured it was me. After a while I figured out that he had no interest at all in sex. I equated our sex life with my attractiveness, or worthiness…pretty sick when I look back on it…but hey, this isn’t exactly common for a man to not want to have sex with his wife. Anyway, 13 years of scheduling kids to have sex, self esteem issues, and a very screwed up marriage…in the end it was a relief when he left. After he walked out on me and our 3 kids, and after the divorce, I spent alot of time figuring out who I was and learning to like myself again. I knew if I ever got into a relationship again, I sure as heck didn’t want the same problems again. When I met my DH it was important that he showed an interest in sex even if we were not having sex before marriage. When we first met, I turned him down cold…he is younger and totally hansome and sexy… never thought he would end up to be “the one” Anyway, we dated for 6 yrs before we married. I had such a hard time waiting for the marriage, but we did. While we did wait, I am guilty of trying to assess his interest in me sexually in an inappropriate manner. At that point sex was very important… mostly because I felt I couldn’t go through feeling so worthless and unattractive. I am still a newlywed so to speak, but I am older and have children already. Sex is a wonderfully fulfilling part of our marriage but, I do know I can live without…like I did before (it didn’t kill me) but I never want to do without…whew!!! THat being said…I give it a 7. God first… Marriage and family is important but try having 3 teens in the house when you are a newlywed!
 
For me, I was attracted to “him” first - his personality, humor, smile, confidence, intelligence etc. Because I was attracted to WHO he was - that made him very sexy to me.

A guy can be very physically attractive, handsome, hot whatever - but if his personality is a dud - then I am really turned off and could never be sexually attracted to him.

Sex in marriage is very important. It is the glue that bonds the intimacy between a man and wife. Our dear Father in heaven designed it thus! 👍
 
I´more than 20 years married and sex is not that important to me.
For my husband is sex important.
 
*I think that physical attraction is important…it can also be if you find chemistry in how you both think too. I find my husband to be physically attractive, but that by itself can fade…I love his wit, sense of humor, and that he is a strong Catholic husband and dad…that to me is very ‘sexy.’ He tells me that he finds me sexy, and that it was important to him…my ‘looks’ when we met. He hardly knew me, we just met, and he joked…wouldn’t it be funny if we got married? God has a great sense of humor, too, apparently…we have been married for a long time, now! 😃

But IN the marriage, is sex important to me? Yes, I would say it is, but it is not the number one priority. I think my dh and are compatible in that arena, but let’s say we weren’t, for a moment. I don’t think that would have a negative effect on our marriage…but without knowing that for sure, I don’t know.

Since we spend WAY more time as a vertical couple, than horizontal…lol…how we relate outside of the bed, personally to me, has more effect on our marriage. :)*
 
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