How is dignity best served?

[piejesu]

A friend is dying of cancer, refusing any treatment, insisting on dying at home. The friend lives alone and because of pain medication and a mass on the brain is losing the ability to take care of himself, and trips to local hospital ERs are becoming more and more frequent. ‘Senior meal’ delivery attempts often fail for various reasons. The man’s living conditions are rapidly deteriorating and are un-sanitary at best. Calls on his cell phone go out day and night, with decreasing lucidity, and generally they are appeals for transportation to and from the ERs. Landlord supposedly will not allow extra keys to be distributed to friends or family. Friends and family have appealed to the man repeatedly to accept an extended care solution, with little success.

How is dignity best served?

1 - Continue to facilitate the man’s avoidance of extended care and risk a very messy, painful, and miserable death scenario.

2 - Intervene and force and evaluation so that the man can receive extended care in a clean and comfortable environment where visitation can take place without any of the current restrictions.

I realize this is a very brief rundown on a complicated moral situation. From the picture I have painted where lies the greatest good? Will be going to work soon, but will peruse any and all replies tomorrow.

God bless

 

[manualman]

Sounds like a good candidate for Hospice care, if you have a good one in the area.

Unlike hospitals, hospices (good ones) are focused on providing love, care and attention for the dying, not technological extreme measures to try to prolong the inevitable. Be sure to avoid twisted hospices that have fallen for euthanasia.

I have no idea how to convince someone unwilling that it is time to go to one. I pray that you can find someone who does!

 

[adv1sor]

First my prayers for you, your friend, and his friends and family.

Hospice would be the best bet. They may even be able to set something up right there in your friend’s home.

Again, my prayers for you, your friend, and his friends and family.

 

[Moscati]

Hospice is designed with these types of situations in mind. A man who is dying of cancer, and has expressed a wish to die at home, should NOT be transported to the ER. I’m an EMT–we’re trained to provide lifesaving interventions on whoever rolls through the door, unless we have detailed paperwork in hand that says otherwise. He needs assistance from a doctor who is trained in palliative care (pain control, symptom management, etc), and people who can come to him and make sure he gets the treatment he needs while preserving his dignity and privacy.

 

[jmcrae]

Is it possible for someone to come and live with him full time, to make sure the housework gets done, and to drive him places that he needs to go to? Barring that, can a neighbor (or several neighbors) check on him daily?

 

[vera_dicere]

I’m not sure how Hospices work wher eyou are, but down here we have community Hospice nurses, some people just dont’ want to die anywhere BUT home, and so a hospice nurse comes out to visit them daily to check their syringe drives, (medication pumps). Home help can also be facilitated through the hospice, with care givers coming into help with cleaning both of patient and house.

Of course, with a brain tumour and detoriation towards death, his mental state could be such that he’s really in no condition to make decisions, or he could make decisions that could harm him, both physically and spiritually if you know what i mean.

 

[piejesu]

Thanks to all who replied, not a fun thread by any means. The situation is, as always, a dynamic one and there is some sign that the family is getting more involved. I don’t plan to journal the situation here on the forums, but please keep us all in your prayers.

Thanks again…