How long does God stay absent from your life sometimes?

[ErichsGurl2]

It’s been a really long time since I posted anything on here. I’ve had a terrible time lately. Last year, I was told I may have lung cancer (still don’t know what’s going on with that…waiting for a test to come back), then my daughter was molested by a neighborhood boy, then my husband was pulled over and arrested wrongfully on Christmas Eve (that’s since been taken care of in our favor), then I had to travel home because my sister attempted suicide, my mom is divorcing my step father, my dad is mentally ill, and I have to take care of him via telephone. My hubby just deployed this week, and on the day he left his dad had a heart attack and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, and to top it all off, I’m behind on my bills, can’t keep up with the house, and now our tax rebate is messed up and I’m not getting it tomorrow like I had expected…so I’m in financial trouble too (bigtime). I’m seeing a pychiatrist that doesn’t want to spend time listening to my problems, and my meds aren’t working. I can’t go to the hospital because I have no one to look after the kids…so I’m not allowed to break down. I’m really sad because usually no matter what, I can pray, and now I just can’t. I feel like God is absent from my life right now. I used to feel so close to him, even almost physically…now…there’s nothing…I feel like I’m praying to a wall. I feel like I’m being punished for something I don’t know I did wrong. I feel very alone right now, and I’m having a hard time looking for the blessings. I really can’t think of anything good right now. Do any of you go through absent times?

 

[searching06]

Michelle,
I have not been here but occasionally and found your post. I feel like God has been mostly absent for a long time. There are times when I know He’s there, in little bits, but it is hard. “Dark night of the soul” which seems to have gone on for years. But on the other hand, if your husband is military (he deployed?), are you stationed near a base? Go to the doctors there first; neighbors should pitch in to help with kids. Even if he is reserves and deployed, you still get military benefits; call his unit and MAKE them help you. Most of all, do not blame yourself, whcih is easy to do. In a way I am still to this day trying to understand, God uses these times to pull us to Him and make us depend on Him, not ourselves. Also, contact your local church; they will have programs to help financially for sure as well as with the kids, and counseling also. There may be a doctor willing to donate time if it is set up through church and he/she knows you are financially strapped. The military also has programs for that.

I will pray for you, especially having “been there, done that”. And though they help, meds are not always the answer either, at least not long term. Be cautious, but for the sake of your sanity and your kids as well, at least consider it. Meds don’t mean you are unconscious or unable to take care of your kids. God bless.

 

[MarcoPolo]

My dear your suffering is tremendous. When God seems to go “absent” (He never really does, by the way), I try to study up on saints who have had similar situations, like Mother Theresa, or St. Monica, or Padre Pio who suffered terribly. Where Jesus is, there are His followers. Christians have a participation in the suffering of Christ (1 Pet 4:13). You could ask God for understanding on how to find joy in suffering as we are mysteriously taught in Scripture. That is something I wish I understood more fully. You could ask Him for mercy in your suffering too. Father Corapi has some great talks on the Joy of the Cross, if you check out his website. I will pray for you. Know that when you honorably endure these sufferings, the entire Body of Christ rejoices (1 Cor 12:26). And for that I thank you.

 

[GraceDK]

:hug1: Yeah… it sounds really bad what you are going through, dear sister in Jesus.
I have had a really touch time myself this last year though in areas quite different than yours. This time I have felt I could not pray and still can’t very well…
But what works best for me is if I can just take a little bit of time and really know I have that time and then read the Gospels real slowly and let His Words speak to me (especially the Gospel of John) Its incredible how He speaks to me through that… even when all I can do is feel unworthy and cast up my hands.
Another thing that sticks with me when nothing else works is telling Him things from my heart …just like I would to another person… no set formula of prayer; just me and Jesus and “wassup Jesus?.. I feel rotten today… because this and that… can You believe this happend… I really need Your help!..”
Sometimes if we are already exhausted the rituals we usually have about prayer become heavy burdens… Then its better to cast the burdens off and plainly say “Here I am… I need You”.

 

[Huiou_Theou]

Yeah, the last four years.

At the start of it I was praying in front of the tabernacle for just ONE thing to go right, loss of job due to protestant manager putting me in a no win extortion position – and I with no degree, had to go back to college, had inlaws interfering with family – sister in law got involved in the nude dancing/porn industry – my mother in-law was irresponsibly involving my kids, my local priests either didn’t believe me because my mass going mother in law is SOOOOO convincing or were just downright vindictive, My wife was caving to my mother in law’s bullying, my wife was bullying me because of her mother, my dad had to go in for surgery, my mother went in for surgery. Being screamed at became unbearable and humiliating, all of this with the priest scandal dug up lots of old wounds, and then the came the final straw after three solid years of misery:

When I got a solid engineering job offer last year and asked my wife if she’d support a move to St. Louis, she responded by throwing all our furniture and goods out of the house on the lawn – and then driving recklessly away… telling me to get out and that she would live indefinitely on her mother’s help … Came back with parishoners just to embarass me – the parishoners she had been telling that I haven’t had a “real” job in four years as I went to college… ---- P.S. We’re on welfare now, but mom isn’t supporting her like she thought – so she has started working at a daycare center – and guess who has the kids during the day?

On the other hand, I kicked my guileful mother in law out – my wife’s repetitive run ins with the CSD at the daycare center is changing the way she treats the kids and me, I GOT my college degree (w/ a 3.96GPA for my second to last semester)
and that in spite of the practical jokes (my senior design team was made up of all the muslims in the senior class…as we went to war!). The psychiatrist not only told my wife where it was at, but showed her exactly why (she hates the psychiatrist now). But my wife has started honoring her marriage vows again, the kids are no longer being put in range of my sister in law’s influences because I have them during the day. My local priests don’t make any rude/ignorant/stupid coments to me now. I no longer wish I was dead, and don’t care if we do loose the house and all that equity because my wife was too stubborn to sell it last year…

My wife started writing down the happy things she remembered of our earlier marriage, and through this little step she began to come out of the all or nothing fight mode. She feels much better (tho she is not quite well yet) – my kids are all healthy in spite of knocking a couple of non-permanent teeth out… and except for me, my family has health insurance again for a little while…

I don’t think about the past humiliation quite so painfully now, and some medication IS helping me to sleep right at night, and I FEEL so much better during the day. Now in fact, though I don’t laugh about any of it, I do enjoy having it to put up against trollers like pennitent man…

God can be “gone” a long time – St. Theresa said she had one visitation from him before she started her ministry taking care of the poor, pulling the almost dead children and adults from the garbage heaps (literally), etc.
She felt spiritually dry for the rest of her life – no consolation ever again – but she made it. So can I.

The sun is shining brightly out my window right now, which always makes me feel good too.

 

[mlchance]

Remember: God is no farther away than the nearest tabernacle.

– Mark L. Chance.