How many of us sometimes feel the presence of our deceased relatives?

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I recently visited the grave of my biological grandfather, who I never got to meet while he was alive. Through genealogical research and DNA matches, I discovered several cousins – children of his deceased brothers and sisters – who have shared a lot of information about him and the other great aunts and uncles.

This biological grandfather, along with our grandmother, gave me and my siblings our dad. The more I’ve learned about him, the more connected I’ve felt. When I visited his grave, I could strongly sense his presence (in spirit), and I could sense that he knew I was there. I can also sense that he and his siblings – our great aunts and uncles – are aware that I am trying to learn more about them and that I care about them.

Is this just an emotional response within me, or are they really watching and know what’s going on within my heart? I’ve also occasionally seen or experienced what could be interpreted as signs that they know and are letting me know that they know.

I don’t use psychics and I don’t see mediums. These have just been personal experiences.

What say you?
 
Of course they aren’t physically present. They are in spirit.
 
It’s not uncommon to feel a deceased relative or friend is reaching out from time to time. Just keep in mind that it only happens when God wills, we can’t and shouldn’t be calling it up or asking for it to happen. Some people get a little carried away.

The best way to connect to your ancestors and loved ones is to pray for their souls and to go to Mass. As our priest explained yesterday in the homily (and I’ve heard the same from other priests over the years), Mass is the only time there’s a “window open” between us and Heaven, so we’re closer to our deceased loved ones in Heaven at Mass than at any other time or place.

Just based on my personal experience, I’ve found that the more I pray and attend Mass, Adoration, etc in general, the more such “occurrences” happen from time to time. Increasing one’s genuine spirituality is going to have an effect. However, one should not be praying with the hope of triggering some such particular effect. If the Lord wants it to happen he lets it happen; someone else might pray their whole life and nothing out of the ordinary occurs, because the Lord doesn’t will it for that person, and gives them some other grace instead.
 
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I absolutely agree with you. And these “signs” I’ve experienced have all just happened. I don’t try to channel anybody, and I don’t use psychics or mediums. And I don’t ask for communication. I do sometimes talk to them. And I have prayed that they are happy, safe, and surrounded by love and beauty. I have prayed for their well being in the “forever realm”, which is what I call eternity.
 
I don’t know what your ethnic background is, but for a lot of us who were raised cultural Catholic from certain backgrounds like Irish, Italian, Polish etc it’s not at all odd to have a dead relative or friend say something or be present from time to time, completely unbidden (i.e. one is not calling them up via a medium, etc). It’s considered a normal part of life, although it can be a little startling when it happens.

I’m in a Purgatorial Society group where we pray for the Holy Souls and sometimes somebody will post to pray for their relative or friend X because they had a dream or a feeling that X was asking for prayers. So we all pray for the soul of X. This past weekend, same thing happened to me. Someone I used to know seemed to be asking for prayers. So I put out the request and had a Mass said and said prayers of my own for them, etc.
 
I am three-quarters German, and some of that is Swiss German. The lineage of which I am speaking is the remaining one-quarter that I never knew about until I was an adult, and they aren’t German. They aren’t Catholic, either.
 
Since none of us is dead, nobody here really knows. However, I totally believe it is possible. I have a sixth sense that can’t be explained. It is normal to me because I was born this way. Some people really get creeped out by it. LOL. However, I never go just by thoughts because I feel like it is too easy for a thought to be just a sub-conscious manifestation. So for me to give it any consideration, the thought needs to be accompanied with something else. So, for example, if I think dead Aunt Sally is trying to send a message to me to call my mom (through thought) because something is wrong and then 10 minutes later I get notified that mom is in an ambulance on her way to the ER, I will beleive it was a genuine outreach.

I believe this type of thing is a gift, and don’t ever use it for personal gain or to compel someone else to believe what I believe. I only use it for good, when appropriate.
 
While I mine the living cousins for as much information, insight and stories as possible, anything else that has happened has simply happened. I don’t try to make it happen. And, I don’t believe in coincidences.

Here’s an experience I had awhile back:

One of the cousins and I were on the phone, discussing one of the great uncles. He had bulldozed the old farmhouse down after it’s last occupant, his older sister, died. He had been living in it with her, and taking care of her.

During this conversation with the cousin, she revealed that she had wanted the glass doorknobs from that house to put into rentals that she and her husband owned, and she was disappointed that this great uncle (her more immediate uncle) didn’t let her know he was going to bulldoze the house and everything in it.

After he did so, she searched through the rubble for any glass doorknobs she could find, but couldn’t find any.

Now, that demolition took place several decades ago, around 1984 or 1985.

A short while after we had that conversation, all of a sudden, my husband started finding all of these glass doorknobs in various antique stores in our area. We don’t live anywhere near where that old farmhouse had been – it was in Louisiana, and we live in north Idaho. I didn’t even know about that house until after I discovered this cousin (earlier this year), and we began talking.

These glass doorknobs that my husband suddenly found in abundance are, along with their brass fittings, the kind that old houses like that often had in them. And while they could have come from anywhere, the timing is interesting.

I can imagine that one great uncle smiling from wherever he is, and I can’t help wonder if he might know something we don’t.

Some might write this off as a coincidence, but I don’t think there are coincidences.

What say you?
 
If you want my honest opinion, I think when it comes down to something like glass doorknobs (which are fairly common things to find in antique stores or anyplace selling old home salvage) showing up, you may be reading a little bit too much into it.
 
Probably. As I’ve stated, they could have come from anywhere. It’s the timing that’s interesting. Right after I had a conversation with this cousin about the glass doorknobs that were in that family farmhouse. It may not mean anything, but why just then?
 
JanR said:
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Yes, I have had many similar experiences. It could be they are praying for you and it could also be they are in purgatory and seeking your prayers. It is God working in you and them.

I heard one priest say as you discover your family history, start praying for their souls.
 
JanR said:
These glass doorknobs that my husband suddenly found in abundance are, along with their brass fittings, the kind that old houses like that often had in them. And while they could have come from anywhere, the timing is interesting.

I can imagine that one great uncle smiling from wherever he is, and I can’t help wonder if he might know something we don’t.

Some might write this off as a coincidence, but I don’t think there are coincidences.

What say you?
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Was your husband aware of your conversation with your cousin about the glass doorknobs? If so, I would say it was more than likely just his raised awareness of glass doorknobs, so he noticed them. It is not an uncommon item to have in an antique store, afterall.

Either way, things like this make a nice way to remember the people who are no longer with us in body.
 
I don’t think he was thinking about them at the time he discovered them. From time to time, I have shared with him some of the contents of my telephone conversations with the cousins, as I take notes during these conversations so as to accurately record what we both said. My husband only cursory scans these notes, then forgets about them. So, I don’t think glass doorknobs were on his mind in that context. He was looking for some to put on our doors in our log home, to maintain its quaint look. He had been searching for some for quite awhile – long before this conversation took place.

Whatever it means, yes, it is a nice way to remember something interesting about this great uncle who, by the way, two cousins have stated was their favorite uncle. A very gifted artist and craftsman, a loner but friendly and kind, and a little eccentric. I share some of those traits.
 
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