How Much Bad News Do You Hear at Work?

[lax16]

I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 14 years or so and recently took a part-time job that I like very much.

However, there is so much bad news that it is stressing me out!! I don’t know if this is unusual or if I have been out of the working world for too long.

Within the last month, there has been a co-worker’s brother’s death from suicide, a co-worker’s wife’s death from a brain aneurysm, a mother of student just passed away…

This is typical for where I work.

Thoughts? Would this stress you out?

 

[SushiFan]

It is probably just a coincidence. In the past month I have heard about 8 deaths from friends and acquaintances. A few years ago a friend attended 14 funerals in 9 months. It does seem odd when you hear of so many at one time, doesn’t it?

 

[Catholic1954]

I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 14 years or so and recently took a part-time job that I like very much.

However, there is so much bad news that it is stressing me out!! I don’t know if this is unusual or if I have been out of the working world for too long.

Within the last month, there has been a co-worker’s brother’s death from suicide, a co-worker’s wife’s death from a brain aneurysm, a mother of student just passed away…

This is typical for where I work.

Thoughts? Would this stress you out?

It probably just seems typical because you have not been there for long. While this kind of news is distressing, just focus on your job and be there for anyone who needs to talk.

 

[Sunbreak]

No, it wouldn’t stress me out. A certain amount of bad news is normal. Some workplaces have people that share more personal information than others.

 

[4love2God]

lax16 said : "Within the last month, there has been a co-worker’s brother’s death from suicide, a co-worker’s wife’s death from a brain aneurysm, a mother of student just passed away… This is typical for where I work.
Thoughts?
Would this stress you out?"

WOW, what an exciting place to work … every month, 3 people die.
This would be certainly be a Fun place for me to work … but, heck, I haven’t heard of anyone dying in over a year.
I, personally, think that Death is a wonderful inspiration to other Family members (to find Spirituality).
So, I would be Happy to work there, and spend time with those affected co-workers.

God MUST be allowing this 30+ deaths each year at work for a reason.
Maybe it is there to prepare you for some Family people moving on.

To me, it seems Miraculous (and not merely a Coincidence). Truly, the Odds of this happening seem to be a Billion-to-One.
If nothing else, it gives you something to look forward to every 10 days or so.
Another one bites the Dust.
And, if you don’t like it, just get a Job somewhere else.

 

[Cat]

I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past 14 years or so and recently took a part-time job that I like very much.

However, there is so much bad news that it is stressing me out!! I don’t know if this is unusual or if I have been out of the working world for too long.

Within the last month, there has been a co-worker’s brother’s death from suicide, a co-worker’s wife’s death from a brain aneurysm, a mother of student just passed away…

This is typical for where I work.

Thoughts? Would this stress you out?

Welcome to real life. Yes, it’s typical.

It’s wonderful to stay home with a healthy child and live a peaceful, happy life. I’m glad you were able to do it for so many years. I think it’s good for young children to have serenity in their home. I think that this is what a Christian home SHOULD be like–a refuge from the cares and strife and sin in this world. I’m sure your family experienced tragedies and upsets during those 14 years, but as a family, you probably grew closer to each other and to God during these times specifically because you were home and providing a “solid base” for your family. Good for you and your husband for making this choice for 14 years.

But now you’ve come out of the refuge, down from the mountain, and you’re seeing what real life is for many people. Of course it’s shocking and discouraging and very sad.

My advice is to try to use the peace and serenity that you had for 14 years to be a light in a dark place for all those people that you come into contact with who are suffering. Draw upon what you learned for 14 years to help people. It’s possible that you yourself will become that “refuge” for the suffering people in your workplace.

 

[lax16]

It is probably just a coincidence. In the past month I have heard about 8 deaths from friends and acquaintances. A few years ago a friend attended 14 funerals in 9 months. It does seem odd when you hear of so many at one time, doesn’t it?

Wow - so you have experienced the same thing. Thanks for sharing. It really helps give me perspective.

Yes, I am praying there will be a bit of a break soon!!

 

[lax16]

It probably just seems typical because you have not been there for long. While this kind of news is distressing, just focus on your job and be there for anyone who needs to talk.

I asked another new teacher if she felt there was a tremendous amount of bad news in comparison to other schools she has worked at and she said a definite “yes!”

I am trying to be there for others. It’s funny though, my reserve tank is on low and I need to fill it up. I have been praying a lot more!!

 

[lax16]

No, it wouldn’t stress me out. A certain amount of bad news is normal. Some workplaces have people that share more personal information than others.

In this case, I get emails about the funerals, obituary links, etc…

I know bad news is normal though.

 

[lax16]

lax16 said : "Within the last month, there has been a co-worker’s brother’s death from suicide, a co-worker’s wife’s death from a brain aneurysm, a mother of student just passed away… This is typical for where I work.
Thoughts?
Would this stress you out?"

WOW, what an exciting place to work … every month, 3 people die.
This would be certainly be a Fun place for me to work … but, heck, I haven’t heard of anyone dying in over a year.
I, personally, think that Death is a wonderful inspiration to other Family members (to find Spirituality).
So, I would be Happy to work there, and spend time with those affected co-workers.

God MUST be allowing this 30+ deaths each year at work for a reason.
Maybe it is there to prepare you for some Family people moving on.

To me, it seems Miraculous (and not merely a Coincidence). Truly, the Odds of this happening seem to be a Billion-to-One.
If nothing else, it gives you something to look forward to every 10 days or so.
Another one bites the Dust.
And, if you don’t like it, just get a Job somewhere else.

Please understand that it is family/spouses of co-workers, not co-workers who have died.

I can’t tell if you are being helpful or sarcastic?

 

[lax16]

Welcome to real life. Yes, it’s typical.

It’s wonderful to stay home with a healthy child and live a peaceful, happy life. I’m glad you were able to do it for so many years. I think it’s good for young children to have serenity in their home. I think that this is what a Christian home SHOULD be like–a refuge from the cares and strife and sin in this world. I’m sure your family experienced tragedies and upsets during those 14 years, but as a family, you probably grew closer to each other and to God during these times specifically because you were home and providing a “solid base” for your family. Good for you and your husband for making this choice for 14 years.

But now you’ve come out of the refuge, down from the mountain, and you’re seeing what real life is for many people. Of course it’s shocking and discouraging and very sad.

My advice is to try to use the peace and serenity that you had for 14 years to be a light in a dark place for all those people that you come into contact with who are suffering. Draw upon what you learned for 14 years to help people. It’s possible that you yourself will become that “refuge” for the suffering people in your workplace.

You are right. The problems of raising children (homework hassles, etc) pale in comparison to the suffering of so many people.

I asked God recently to give me more empathy for others and I have to say He has answered my prayers!

I will not say that I have/had peace and serenity raising my four children, but I have not experienced the trauma of a sudden death of a loved one. It is truly a humbling experience.

I need to work on becoming stronger so that I can weather the storms. Prayer and the Blessed Sacrament is calling my name…

 

[4love2God]

lax16 said :** “Please understand that it is family/spouses of co-workers, not co-workers who have died.
I can’t tell if you are being helpful…?”**

I understand it is Family members dying.

I am trying to be Helpful to you.
I stated my feelings on the matter.
This includes that your situation seems strongly against all Odds (and might be a Miraculous occurrence).

(That said, I re-read my Post, and I can plainly see that my trying to be up-Beat about it, could come off as less-than-Honest.)
Please forgive me for seemingly making Light of your upsetting situation.
I am sure that you view Death differently than I do (which is a BIG Promotion).

I have worked most of my Adult Life.
I have never before heard of so many Deaths occurring each Month.

My priest got to hear about this after Daily Mass this morning.
He believes in Miracles in general … and he suspects that this “smells” like something very unusual is happening.
But, like he said, he can’t know if you have 1000 people at work, which would make this seem less-Miraculous.
I had told him it sounded like you have about 50-or-Less people there (but, I didn’t know).

Either way, it is a New One to me.
I volunteer time to speak to newly-Widowed people.
One man told me he had 7 people die in his Family in a 2-year period (after 15 years of None).
He was pretty-darn sure that he was gonna die soon (with Diabetes, and High Blood Pressure).

It is a common thing to feel, when More-Healthy people are dropping like flies.
Three years later, and NO new Family members have died (including him).
Whew . . . things got back to Normal (for him, anyway).

 

[Dulcinea2721]

Please understand that it is family/spouses of co-workers, not co-workers who have died.

I can’t tell if you are being helpful or sarcastic?

I also did not know if 4love2God was being sarcastic but I have to be honest, My initial response was “you are certainly there for a reason”

If you are experiencing that many death/grieving situations, you should ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, there may be a special calling in there for you. Does anyone seek you out for comfort?

 

[lax16]

lax16 said :** “Please understand that it is family/spouses of co-workers, not co-workers who have died.
I can’t tell if you are being helpful…?”**

I understand it is Family members dying.

I am trying to be Helpful to you.
I stated my feelings on the matter.
This includes that your situation seems strongly against all Odds (and might be a Miraculous occurrence).

(That said, I re-read my Post, and I can plainly see that my trying to be up-Beat about it, could come off as less-than-Honest.)
Please forgive me for seemingly making Light of your upsetting situation.
I am sure that you view Death differently than I do (which is a BIG Promotion).

I don’t know if I view death differently than you or not. I would love to hear your view of death and how you view it as a BIG Promotion. I guess I do too, but never really thought about it as much as I should. That is probably something I should think more about.

I have worked most of my Adult Life.
I have never before heard of so many Deaths occurring each Month.

My priest got to hear about this after Daily Mass this morning.
He believes in Miracles in general … and he suspects that this “smells” like something very unusual is happening.
But, like he said, he can’t know if you have 1000 people at work, which would make this seem less-Miraculous.
I had told him it sounded like you have about 50-or-Less people there (but, I didn’t know).

The staff is about 60 however, we are part of a larger community at the same time.
There are 800 students and one of the deaths was the mother of a student.

Either way, it is a New One to me.
I volunteer time to speak to newly-Widowed people.
One man told me he had 7 people die in his Family in a 2-year period (after 15 years of None).
He was pretty-darn sure that he was gonna die soon (with Diabetes, and High Blood Pressure).

It is a common thing to feel, when More-Healthy people are dropping like flies.
Three years later, and NO new Family members have died (including him).
Whew . . . things got back to Normal (for him, anyway).

I am trying to figure out what “normal” is and it seems at my workplace there is a whole lot going on!

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut - it really helps.

 

[lax16]

I also did not know if 4love2God was being sarcastic but I have to be honest, My initial response was “you are certainly there for a reason”

If you are experiencing that many death/grieving situations, you should ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, there may be a special calling in there for you. Does anyone seek you out for comfort?

Thank you for reminding me to call on the Holy Spirit for help.

Yes, I work very closely with the gal who lost her brother and she comes to me often with things (and other people as well).

My main concern is that I feel overwhelmed right now and may not be able to say the right thing at the right time.

 

[christofirst]

A lot! I always found that people frequently commiserate at work. By sharing our bad news or burden with others, it somehow seems to lighten the load. And there’s something about work, the distance in our relationships with our fellow workers and the amount of time we spend there, which makes people disclose things they might not ever talk about at home with family. But there are certain individuals who always seem to dwell on the negative, like a storm cloud is always over their head. Spending too much time with these people can bring anyone down, and fast! I always tried to seek out coworkers with a positive outlook, and tried to be that way for others whenever I could.

 

[lax16]

A lot! I always found that people frequently commiserate at work. By sharing our bad news or burden with others, it somehow seems to lighten the load. And there’s something about work, the distance in our relationships with our fellow workers and the amount of time we spend there, which makes people disclose things they might not ever talk about at home with family. But there are certain individuals who always seem to dwell on the negative, like a storm cloud is always over their head. Spending too much time with these people can bring anyone down, and fast! I always tried to seek out coworkers with a positive outlook, and tried to be that way for others whenever I could.

This is a good point. I find the people at work to be very strong and put forward a positive attitude. It is me that is feeling overwhelmed!

I don’t find people sharing too much unhappy news - it is just that there has been several deaths and the people died young.

 

[4love2God]

After the Time expires for our Life here on Earth … we get Promoted from all of the Hassles of thisWorld.

lax16 wants to know what I am talking about :** “I don’t know if I view death differently than you or not. I would love to hear your view of death, and how you view it as a BIG Promotion. I guess I do too … That is probably something I should think more about.”**

The way I see Life is :

1. Life is difficult (or actually, impossible) to Live correctly;
2. Life is full of painful decisions (especially if you have children);
3. Life is handling a lot of different Relationships, many of which are full of Pain and Confusion;
4. Life is chock-Full of Sins … and Sinning;
5. As I approach my Death, my body is suffering from Disease … and I get to watch my organs rot away (and may have to put up with someone cutting me open and taking some of my body parts away) … and live with constant Pain, and Fear of MORE Pain.

Life is a Job … a dirty Job … an unfair Job … (and sometimes, it is a Fun Job, but not often enough).
A Spiritual person must work hard to keep seeing Life as God’s gift.

However, a non-Spiritual person can live Life a lot easier than we do.
Less things matter … you don’t have to try very hard (or even at all) to live a Life that God would like you to Live.
No Sins to worry about … no Church rules to follow (or to feel guilty about, for NOT following).
No Day of Reckoning to ponder …
This life is all that matters.
Simplify, simplify, simplify.

After I finish-up here on Earth, I am (finally) FREE at Last . . . Free at Last.
1} I am NOW free from ever Sinning again,
2} I don’t have to worry about taking care of anyone (and the Responsibility that it entails),
3} I have no decisions to make,
4} I get to “Dump” my cruddy body, … and
5} I get to look forward to living for Eternity in Heaven (a pretty-Fun thing to Contemplate)

I quickly go to meet Jesus Christ, face-to-face, and talk to Him about going to Heaven.
Of course, before I get the Red-Carpet treatment with Saint Peter at Heaven’s Gate, I will spend some time Purging myself of the stain of my forgiven Sins.
Don’t get me wrong**;** Purgatory is no Picnic … but it does have Clarity … I know What’s happening, and WHY.

After this Time in Purgatory, for Contemplation and Renewal of my Spirit, I receive the BIGGEST Promotion available to a Human Being.
I graduate from THINKING about living in Heaven with Jesus Christ … to LIVING in Heaven with Jesus Christ.

So, when I breathe my Last Breath, I am immediately Promoted … I am on my way to Heaven.
And, I am Promoted above all of the Pain and Negativity, which automatically comes along with Breathing.
Peace at last.

---

(There are some Souls who won’t make it to Purgatory … but they, too, are Promoted, just NOT a fun Promotion.)

 

[lax16]

After the Time expires for our Life here on Earth … we get Promoted from all of the Hassles of thisWorld.

lax16 wants to know what I am talking about :** “I don’t know if I view death differently than you or not. I would love to hear your view of death, and how you view it as a BIG Promotion. I guess I do too … That is probably something I should think more about.”**

The way I see Life is :

1. Life is difficult (or actually, impossible) to Live correctly;
2. Life is full of painful decisions (especially if you have children);
3. Life is handling a lot of different Relationships, many of which are full of Pain and Confusion;
4. Life is chock-Full of Sins … and Sinning;
5. As I approach my Death, my body is suffering from Disease … and I get to watch my organs rot away (and may have to put up with someone cutting me open and taking some of my body parts away) … and live with constant Pain, and Fear of MORE Pain.

Yes, life is hard and I feel for you (those) who are in constant physical pain.

Life is a Job … a dirty Job … an unfair Job … (and sometimes, it is a Fun Job, but not often enough).
A Spiritual person must work hard to keep seeing Life as God’s gift.

I see.

However, a non-Spiritual person can live Life a lot easier than we do.
Less things matter … you don’t have to try very hard (or even at all) to live a Life that God would like you to Live.
No Sins to worry about … no Church rules to follow (or to feel guilty about, for NOT following).
No Day of Reckoning to ponder …
This life is all that matters.
Simplify, simplify, simplify.

I wonder if non-spiritual people feel that way. Don’t you think believing that there is *nothing *after this life of suffering and pain is a total bummer?
I don’t know if these people are free from the fear of death.

After I finish-up here on Earth, I am (finally) FREE at Last . . . Free at Last.
1} I am NOW free from ever Sinning again,
2} I don’t have to worry about taking care of anyone (and the Responsibility that it entails),
3} I have no decisions to make,
4} I get to “Dump” my cruddy body, … and
5} I get to look forward to living for Eternity in Heaven (a pretty-Fun thing to Contemplate)

I quickly go to meet Jesus Christ, face-to-face, and talk to Him about going to Heaven.
Of course, before I get the Red-Carpet treatment with Saint Peter at Heaven’s Gate, I will spend some time Purging myself of the stain of my forgiven Sins.
Don’t get me wrong**;** Purgatory is no Picnic … but it does have Clarity … I know What’s happening, and WHY.

Yes, this sounds wonderful. I picture myself falling at Jesus’ feet and holding on…

After this Time in Purgatory, for Contemplation and Renewal of my Spirit, I receive the BIGGEST Promotion available to a Human Being.
I graduate from THINKING about living in Heaven with Jesus Christ … to LIVING in Heaven with Jesus Christ.

It is a wonderful gift to have eternal life in heaven.

So, when I breathe my Last Breath, I am immediately Promoted … I am on my way to Heaven.
And, I am Promoted above all of the Pain and Negativity, which automatically comes along with Breathing.
Peace at last.

Yes, I see your point.

---

(There are some Souls who won’t make it to Purgatory … but they, too, are Promoted, just NOT a fun Promotion.)

Not fun at all.

 

[4love2God]

"5) As I approach my Death, my body is suffering from Disease … and I get to watch my organs rot away (and may have to put up with someone cutting me open and taking some of my body parts away) … and live with constant Pain, and Fear of MORE Pain."

When I said the above, I was referring to others (not my own personal situation). Sort of like the Royal … “WE”.
Most people end their Life in a Hospital or Rest Home.
And, being “warehoused” in a Rest Home for 5 or 10 years, unable to Live any kind of Normal existence, is Hell on Earth (in addition to any pain or disability one has).

I have personal experience with this issue. When my Dad had his 2nd Stroke, I couldn’t take care of him any longer.
I had to lift his 190-pound body several times a Day, just to go use his bedside toilet (and then getting in and out of his wheelchair)…
The Adult Protective Service ordered him into a Rest Home.
I visited him there several hours a week.
Out of about 100 patients there, 7 patients had a visitor at least once a month (and, at times, only 5 had visitors).
I know this because it is VERY unusual for a patient to have outside contact (and the Aides tell me … perhaps to help cheer me on).
The other 93 lived a Life completely devoid of friends and relatives.

Dad survived for more than 4 years. Even with my consistent visits (usually 4 a week), he was very un-Happy having to be there.

And, to your Question** : “Don’t you think believing that there is nothing after this life of suffering and pain is a total bummer?
I don’t know if these people are free from the fear of death.”**

I never said that Atheists do not fear Death.

And actually, most people (Atheist or not) do NOT dwell all of their Life about that day in the future when they Die.
This is something that mostly arises when a person thinks that something is happening (or might happen) that could cause his Death.
Or, a close relative or friend dies.

I have known several complete Atheists over the years.
I made it a point to have these people as acquaintances.
This gave me a chance to discuss Spiritual issues with a person with a different perspective.
(And, so, helped me to strengthen my own Spirituality of being a Catholic.)
Nobody has expressed to me ANY obsession about worrying about Death.
I have asked this precise question several times.
Life goes on FOREVER … that is, until forever comes.