How much do I need to trust in and tell my spiritual director?

[melvfe]

Hi all

This has some relation to one of my previous posts about my godfather who was behaving inappropriately towards me. Am I being groomed by a priest?

(Investigations are still ongoing, and I am going to be interviewed by the relevant ecclesiastical authority next week.)

So, the update is that I had to email a new priest for confession, and I requested for a bit of spiritual direction during that confession. I did not expressly told him that I wanted to continue seeing him, because I did not know him at all. During the confession, he told me that he could be my spiritual director and regular confessor at the same time. I was apprehensive about accepting his offer because of what had happened between me and my godfather. I certainly don’t want history to be repeated all over again. I did accept his offer in the end, and we will meet again in the next month or so.

I am concerned that I may not be able to trust him 100%. My question is, how much should I trust him? And if I have to mention about the incident regarding my godfather, how best should I go about doing this?

The reason why I am asking you is because I tried to find another spiritual director (who is a religious sister) before this new priest, and the Sister impliedly told me that she does not want to spiritually direct me after hearing about the incident with my godfather. That struck me as odd because she did not do anything wrong to me.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Some spiritual directors for whatever reason (such as having some past trauma themselves, or having legal concerns, or just feeling that it’s beyond their capability to handle) don’t feel comfortable directing a person who has had past trauma or is involved in an ongoing invesigation. Unless it’s a situation where they are assigned to be spiritual director for a whole group, they should be able to decline.

I would suggest that if you would prefer to have a different confessor from your spiritual dirctor, that’s understandable (perhaps for reasons of anonymity in confession) and you should be able to just tell your spiritual director you would prefer that and then do it. But be careful you’re not seeking spiritual direction from the confessor and vice versa.

 

[Bluebright]

There’s a book called Navigating the Interior life by Daniel Burke with Fr Bartunek.
It has a lot of great advice about what to say and do in spiritual direction. I’d suggest you read it… it’s not a difficult read. It will probably set your mind at ease as it also says a little on their responsibility towards you and gives you advice on where and what the spiritual life is about. It treats openness, obedience and docility under the section of your responsibilities to the spiritual director.

Try not to be put off by the religious sister she may have wounds herself that you know nothing about. We are all wounded in some way and when people behave oddly it’s more likely because of their wounds than because of yours.

Also consider yourself blessed to have so many people to ask for spiritual direction, in other places, it is rare to find even one that a person may ask. God bless you

 

[fredystairs]

I’d suggest that you mention to the priest that you had the problem with your godfather and this might cause problems with your relationship with him. He needs to know where you’re coming from.

Pax