How much do you compromise to live near family?

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How much do you compromise to live near family?

I was wondering how many others give up this or that to live near to extended family members such as parents, grandparents, children etc.
 
Worse for me then living NEAR my family,my mother lives WITH ME :eek:

I love her, but at 43 and a grandparent myself, I kinda think I have a handle on how to raise children and run a household. Although she did a fine job is bringing me up, my ways are not her ways.

I compromise my (more like give up) privacy and have daily struggles with the “rules of the house” in relation to my two young sons. I raise one way, she prefers another…

Oh ya, I also have greatly compromised my SANITY… :rolleyes:
 
We tried being nice and moving closer, but … well… we should’ve tried going the other direction…

I second the sanity compromised theory!
 
I have not been fortunate enugh to live near family since marrying my hubby. The closest relative is my husband’s cousin about 80 minutes away. And as long as my husband stays in the Navy, we will not be living near our midwest roots, no Navy porsts there! 😃

I do not think the other Navy Families that have family near by realize how much they have! It would be nice to be able to drop my children off with a sibling or Grand parent for those doctor’s appointments, school meetings, etc. Or even for those times when I could really use a break with out having to find a sitter or feel as if I am bugging my girlfriends when my husband is out to sea. To visit family is either costly airline tickets (had two tours in Hawaii) or lengthy driving trips (15-26 hours depending on whose side we are visiting). Try a 13 hour flight by yourself with two toddlers (of course mine are well trained at flying since 5 months of age, just wish our DVD player had a spare battery option 😛 ).

Of course we do not have the problems of invading parents that some have either. I can also be “immune” from explosive situations, my sistser is going through a divorce from her abusive and controlling husband (luckily the courts have taken his gun away - please pray for her!). But I also miss out on a lot of things; baptisms, births, graduations, not to mention the untold info (my sister, the nurse, told me last night over the phone that my mother’s health is far worse than anyone has been telling me for the past two months - please pray for her.) I am from a family with four girls, so the two referred to sisters are different ones.

Your family is your back bone when you need the help, love and reassurance. And they will not be around forever. We have given up family vacation times (to say Disney) to visit family during those times off from work. My children do not have the same relationship with their extended family that I had as a child, and it makes me a little sad, especially when I am reminded of it while visiting home. Now my youngest sister enjoys the trips she gets to come visit me, flew her out to Hawaii for the summer of her Junior year of high school, I was expecting our second child at the time.

I keep hoping for orders to a particular port, but it has yet to happen! This port is the closest to my family, would be 7 hours, an easy drive by comparison. The next set of orders we think will atleast cut the trip down to 10 hours, but that is two years away.

Be thankful for your time with family, for us it is not an option. My husband gave me a poem once on the strengths of a military wife. One line I remember so well is that some people stress about making it to their mother’s Thanksgiving diner on time, military wives hope to make it to the funeral before the burial. Time is precious! Count your blessings not your curses!

With Love, kp1
 
except for a 3 yr stint in Detroit we have never lived closer than 200-300 miles to family, a factor which has no doubt positively influenced our own marriage. Now am over 1700 miles from daughters and grandkids, so the question is how much do I sacrifice in terms of not being part of their life in order to pursue what I discern is God’s plan for my life at this time.
 
Our closest family lives two states away. I’m good with that. They don’t share our values or lifestyle (my side) and they are very grumpy & fight alot (his side.) We visit each side once or twice a year & that’s enough for me. I suppose if they were different, I’d want to spend more time together, but as it is… two states is perfect.
 
I have lived 3000 miles from my family for about 7 years now. While I do miss them terribly during holidays and special times, I don’t not miss them when everyone starts fighting. I think for me the tough part is having to fly with 3 children to see the siblings and grandparents. I truly wish I could get in the car and drive - be it 10 minutes or 6 hours. It has got to be easier than flying with a 2,5 and 8 year old. I don’t think I would risk the hapiness and stability of my own family though to be closer to other relatives. Case in point, my hubby may have a chance to get a job 4 hours from grandparents, or another job still 3000 miles away, I say go with the job that works best for our family, whether or not it is good for extended family. Everyone has their lives to live, I feel I am in charge of my life and my children’s lives, that’s it.
 
I gave up an 18-year career and a close to six figure salary – now earning about one-third that amount so my wife could be near her family instead of 900 miles away.
 
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