How must a young catholic date in this day and age?

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saintlouisblues19

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I have left an impure life behind me, and I am transitioning into adulthood and would like to start dating again. There are almost ZERO catholic women my age that are single in my entire parish. I’ve gotten on a few different Catholic dating sites and the closest women are like 250 miles away, and there’s only about 2 or 3 in that entire area. I don’t know if I am allowed to marry a non-catholic, but my biggest issue is everyone seems like they want to have sex, whether they just met or have been dating for just a few weeks and I haven’t met a single woman who I have grown up with that’s not married that is a virgin and holds true to her faith- this is the 100% true. Am I allowed to marry a non-catholic? How would I go about this? How do I tell a woman in a respectful, but confident way that I’m not having sex before marriage? I feel very lonely as (what seems like) the only practicing Catholic young man in my area, and just a small statistic in the US.
Thanks
 
Every day we see one or more Catholic men complaining there are no single Catholic women, and Catholic women complaining there are no Catholic men.

Are you a teen or a young adult?

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saintlouisblues19 said:
I have left an impure life behind me,
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saintlouisblues19 said:
I haven’t met a single woman who I have grown up with that’s not married that is a virgin and holds true to her faith- this is the 100% true
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Perhaps a Catholic women you meet has also left an impure life behind her.
 
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To be blunt OP, I would not date a non-Catholic, especially as a young man who’s had past impure relations. You might be able to find some common ground with a Protestant girl, but when it comes to her family or raising the kids Catholic, well… Good luck. As for a secular girl, I can only see that leading you back into sin.

I might go the extra 250 miles for a Catholic girl. At least message them if nothing else.
 
You are allowed to marry a non-Catholic, although I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. Sometimes it does go well, though. My father is not a confirmed Catholic, while my mother is, and I’d like to think they’ve done a good job.
saintlouisblues19 said:
I haven’t met a single woman who I have grown up with that’s not married that is a virgin and holds true to her faith- this is the 100% true
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While I understand wanting to save yourself for marriage and wanting your spouse to do the same, a lot of Catholics have fallen into sin but live chaste lives now which is what matters more than virginity. If you’ve recently come out of an impure life, this also may come off as hypocritical. That said, it’s your decision. Strive for chastity and save yourself for marriage from this point on.

I have a feeling the “sex before marriage” talk will come up when it needs to, I wouldn’t push it. And say it like it is, “I’m saving myself for marriage.” I’m a trying-to-be-devout Catholic dude in a very not Catholic (and largely anti-Catholic) area, so I get how you feel. Singleness is a good time to grow in virtue, and that’s more important than getting back into the dating game.
 
I well know this dilemma as my kids have the same one. My daughter is 25 and would love to meet someone and be married. She has a way of making it known that she is Catholic and has the expectation of not having premarital sex. It’s so hard though because outside of youth ministry, there is literally no one she knows who believes in that.

In a recent interview with Cardinal Pell, he made a statement that I’ve now printed and it hangs on my fridge.

“I knew God was with me, but I didn’t know what he was up to…"

You have to keep going in faith and see what He is up to.
 
Cmon, everybody is gonna criticize me for asking something like this if I tell them I’m 17.
 
saintlouisblues19 said:
Cmon, everybody is gonna criticize me for asking something like this if I tell them I’m 17.
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The problem is that a 17-year-old is a minor, and an “almost-20-year-old” is not. A lot of the posters here don’t like to discuss such matters with minors in the way they would with adults. It’s not fair and honest to trick them into doing something they would rather not do. Understand?
 
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AdamP88 said:
I kinda thought you Yanks would consider that a short distance?
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It is. You don’t even need to stop for gas. It’s only three to four hours, depending upon region of the country.

And, yeah, I drove that far over girls why I was young and single without blinking . . .
saintlouisblues19 said:
Cmon, everybody is gonna criticize me for asking something like this if I tell them I’m 17.
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No, it’s not that.

It’s that those of that for those of us for whom “almost 20” is a memory, the distinction between ourselves at 17 and 20, and all how we saw the world at 17 and 20, were entirely different worlds.
 
You’re a minor and your brain is not yet fully mature.

Also, lying about your age is not only wrong, it in itself reflects an immature view of the world.

Spend the next 4 or 5 or 10 years becoming a good man.
 
Dating at 17 is honestly kinda pointless. As a very new 20 year old I was definitely not ready to date when I was 17 and I’d wait until you graduate highschool at the very earliest, and spend the next 1-4 years growing in virtue before really getting into the dating game.
 
As a very recent 20 I can definitely agree, I was a moron at 17, and I am slightly less of a moron now, but enough that it makes a difference.
 
What are you planning to do after high school, OP? College, work, skilled trade?
 
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