How Should I Respond?

[babartos]

Hi! I’m new on this forum, so I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right place. I am currently going through the RCIA process in NYC after growing up in the Church of Christ. My ex-Catholic dad, back home in Dallas, is really upset about my conversion. We had a couple of conversations early on that ended in both of us getting upset. Since then, we haven’t really discussed it, and for months now it has been the elephant in the room. Now that I’m actually going through with RCIA, he has started sending me emails with snide comments about Catholics and Catholicism. Just recently, he sent me a link to an anti-Catholic website: bible.ca/cath-overview-false-teaching.htm

I’m really not sure if I should respond to this email or not. I don’t want to make things worse by returning to our former arguments, but neither do I want to close off dialogue and leave him without understanding my position. I want him to know that I am making a “head and heart” decision to join the Church that Jesus founded, not getting brainwashed by a cult or deceived by Satan (his basic accusation). And I don’t want to leave everything unsaid only to have it blow up in my face and ruin Christmas for myself and everyone else when I go home this December.

I feel so lonely in all of this. My poor mom and sister are trying their hardest to stay neutral while my dad and I “battle it out,” but I know they don’t really understand either. I came up here for my master’s degree at Columbia, but I still don’t know many people in the school and I feel cut off from my loved ones at home without anyone in this city to turn to for comfort.

Any suggestions?

 

[fdesales]

Hi! I’m new on this forum, so I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right place. I am currently going through the RCIA process in NYC after growing up in the Church of Christ. My ex-Catholic dad, back home in Dallas, is really upset about my conversion. We had a couple of conversations early on that ended in both of us getting upset. Since then, we haven’t really discussed it, and for months now it has been the elephant in the room.

It sounds like your Dad has not accepted that you are an adult yet…

You need to sit down with him in a calm fashion and explain to him that religion is a personal matter. We each seek out God in our own fashion, and as an adult, you should be respected for how you proceed to search out God. Make it clear that you love him, but that you are a grown man/woman, and your faith is your own, not his. In time, he will respect that. He may not like your choice, but at least he will respect you (unless his love for you is blinded by his spiritual immaturity - the concept that one must “think like me” or they cannot be saved"

Now that I’m actually going through with RCIA, he has started sending me emails with snide comments about Catholics and Catholicism. Just recently, he sent me a link to an anti-Catholic website: bible.ca/cath-overview-false-teaching.htm

Send him links that propose to explain how these sites are false propaganda for those who do not desire to seek the truth, but are happy in their faulty understandings of our faith. Tell him “thanks for your link, but perhaps you should read this one…” And send him one that destroys these claims of these anti-catholics)

I feel so lonely in all of this. My poor mom and sister are trying their hardest to stay neutral while my dad and I “battle it out,” but I know they don’t really understand either. I came up here for my master’s degree at Columbia, but I still don’t know many people in the school and I feel cut off from my loved ones at home without anyone in this city to turn to for comfort.

Yes, after reading this, my first impressions are verified. Your Dad has not accepted that you are an adult… I have a daughter in college, and I am pretty certain of this, despite your credentials at the university.

Address this issue and the religion matter will resolve itself.

God Bless,

fdesales

 

[LucyLou]

Go find the Church of Our Savior in Manhattan and talk to Father Rutler. He is amazing and full of knowlege and love. Get active in your church – join a bible study in the evening. Also, Columbia has to have a Catholic student center to go and hang out there and see what is available to do with other Catholic Students.

I made the same decision 27 years ago, while I was in college and have never regretted it. Our faith is the one true faith passed down from the Apostles. The best support you can get for yourself is to surround yourself with other Catholic people.

Stand firm in your faith with your father. Let him know that you have made your decision and know it is right for you. Lead by example and continue to love him and treat him with respect, but delete his emails that are Catholic Bashing.

Blessings,

 

[convert999]

I, like many others, struggled with similar problems when I converted. While I was in RCIA I found that saying, “Right now I am trying to discern where God is leading me. Please pray for me.” End of discussion. If they persist with anti-Catholic slander, just repeat your answer until they get the point. Arguing with closed minds is a waste of time. After you have actually become Catholic the attacks will either stop or intensify. If you enjoy/are good at apologetics, go ahead and try to justify your faith with charity. However, you don’t owe anyone an explanation except God. Try “Thank you for your concern. Please pray that I will continue to grow in my faith.” God bless! Debbie

P.S. I would just delete the emails.

 

[Supercatholic]

Hi! I’m new on this forum, so I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the right place. I am currently going through the RCIA process in NYC after growing up in the Church of Christ. My ex-Catholic dad, back home in Dallas, is really upset about my conversion. We had a couple of conversations early on that ended in both of us getting upset. Since then, we haven’t really discussed it, and for months now it has been the elephant in the room. Now that I’m actually going through with RCIA, he has started sending me emails with snide comments about Catholics and Catholicism. Just recently, he sent me a link to an anti-Catholic website: bible.ca/cath-overview-false-teaching.htm

I’m really not sure if I should respond to this email or not. I don’t want to make things worse by returning to our former arguments, but neither do I want to close off dialogue and leave him without understanding my position. I want him to know that I am making a “head and heart” decision to join the Church that Jesus founded, not getting brainwashed by a cult or deceived by Satan (his basic accusation). And I don’t want to leave everything unsaid only to have it blow up in my face and ruin Christmas for myself and everyone else when I go home this December.

I feel so lonely in all of this. My poor mom and sister are trying their hardest to stay neutral while my dad and I “battle it out,” but I know they don’t really understand either. I came up here for my master’s degree at Columbia, but I still don’t know many people in the school and I feel cut off from my loved ones at home without anyone in this city to turn to for comfort.

Any suggestions?

Barbartos, I really feel for you. Jesus himself said “Think not that I come to bring peace. I do not bring peace, but a sword, a sword that will divide the family” Alright so I’m badly paraphrasing, but you get the point. Bible.ca is nothing but a website controlled by a non denominational jackass that uses the age old anti-catholic arguments that have been refuted countless times. He has nothing to really offer so instead he bashes the Catholic Church. But then again anything non-catholic has absolutely nothing to offer. remember AB-SO-LUTE-LY NOTH-ING. I hate to say this, but your salvation and immortal soul are more important than one season of a tense christmas. Avoid your dad until he grows up. I’m not good at consoling, but I’m great at arguing. I would rather argue with your dad. I’m so good at defending the basic elements of the Catholic faith. Jehovah’s witness and other door knockers are terrified of me. Stick with RCIA. Stay Catholic. learn the faith. Most RCIA classes are very weak. I hope yours is one of the strong ones. Three Dvds I would recommend are Where Did The Bible Come From, Why Be Catholic by Ray Guarendi and What Catholics really believe. Watch them yourself first and then watch them with your family, especially your dad. Tell them this is not intended to convert them, but only to make them to better understand your position. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[arcee]

Congratulations in joining the RCIA and I am absolutely certain, that God is calling you to His Church. If I may suggest to you a really good book about conversion, “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. It is a book that you will not put it down once you start reading it.
I believe that by educating yourself and having a deeper understanding of the Catholic Faith will answer some of your Dad’s questions. Show him also by example. Once you are done with RCIA, live and practice our Catholic Faith. We do not know God’s plan. But I strongly believe that through prayers and by examples, your Dad might develope an interest in the Church.
I will be praying for you and your Dad about your situation.