How should we define gender and sex? How should pronouns be used?

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Recently Google forced me to tell them my gender, and the choices were male, female, and other. This raised some questions.

How should we define gender? How should we define sex? How should pronouns be used? What other genders exist besides male and female?
the New Oxford American Dictionary:
sex - either of the two main categories (male and female) into which humans and most other living things are divided on the basis of their reproductive functions

gender - the state of being male or female (typically used with reference to social and cultural differences rather than biological ones)

USAGE The word gender has been used since the 14th century primarily as a grammatical term, referring to the classes of noun in Latin, Greek, German, and other languages designated as masculine, feminine, or neuter. It has also been used since the 14th century in the sense ‘the state of being male or female,’ but this did not become a common standard use until the mid 20th century. Although the words gender and sex both have the sense ‘the state of being male or female,’ they are typically used in slightly different ways: sex tends to refer to biological differences, while gender tends to refer to cultural or social ones.
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(emphasis added)

Some people said to me that gender goes beyond the sex binary, and recommended I read more about gender identity. It seems to me that while sex remains binary, there is a spectrum of masculinity and femininity: Thus some men are more masculine than others, and there are masculine women and feminine men. However, I do not see how this relates to gender and gender identity. Gender identity is one’s identification or statement of one’s gender, correct? Is gender identity simply the articulation of how comfortable one is with one’s sex? If one’s gender is not determined by one’s sex, then how does one ascertain one’s gender? What genders exist? By what criteria are they defined? By whom are they defined?

It appears to me that people establish their definitions of gender, and thereby of gender identity, in two ways: By agreeing or disagreeing with cultural expectations, and by comparing their experiences with stereotypes they perceive. If this is true, then how can one know that one’s gender identity is correct? It seems very subjective, almost a guess, rather than a deduction. For example, if there are 20 stereotypes of men and women, someone could identify with women after matching five stereotypes of women and none of men, without looking at the remaining 15 of each. If he had, the end result may have been 15 matched stereotypes of men and only five of women, thereby reversing the conclusion. The situation is in fact more complicated than this, and the impressions that are formed by individuals are commonly influenced by the entertainment industry, particularly television and cinema. So there’s the added question of which data used to determine gender identity are reliable, since both real-life interactions and fictional depictions shape how we regard being male and female (and then fictional depictions later influence real-life interactions).

There is also the question of pronoun use: If there can exist a difference between sex and gender, should pronouns reflect one’s sex, or one’s gender? This question seems particularly important for written communication and internet interaction, where personal expectations are established without visual confirmation.

Please share your thoughts on these matters. Thank you.
 
This is not particularly useful in the West (at least not yet), but there is more gender abnormality in, for example, India. Hijras are a “third gender” in India that are basically male eunuchs with female gender identities.

To me, this doesn’t really seem like a “third gender” so much as one gender taking on characteristics of the other.
 
My thoughts:

If you are female you are female/feminine gender.

If you are male you are male/masculine gender.

Female = she, her

Male = he, him

End of.
 
I don’t know how to answer the poll. I am male. It’s really a black or white, A or B sort of issue. No spectrum in between.

I don’t necessarily fit all the typical male patterns. Yes I have that masculine instinct to apply rules to situations uniformly unless sufficient evidence outweighs this assumption, as opposed to the feminine tendency to approach every situation as an exception. On the other hand I’m not at all given to aggressive, macho stuff and my spatial intelligence, which is supposed to be greater in men than in women, is not good at all.

But these sorts of differences are generally like the differences in height or upper body strength; there are average differences between men and women, but many exceptions if you compare an individual man to an individual woman. Sex is not defined by these things.
 
I tend to have a great deal of compassion for those who are confused about their true gender/sex. Most, if not all come from a place of physical and/or psychological wounding or distortion. Many genetically male children were forced to grow up in a female persona due to birth defects which altered their bodies so radically from birth that it was thought that it was the more humane thing to have them identify as the gender which they more physically presented as. I had a friend or two that told me horror stories about his situation where the choice was taken out of his hands. The two men who were forced by surgeries and the society around them to grow up and live as females were both in the States btw and both of them had not only physical issues which had caused their involuntary gender reassignment, but they also had other ailments both mental and physical.

In fact, I can’t think of one person I’ve ever known who was “transgendered”, or whatever other term that is in vogue referring to people presenting as the gender that they are not genetically, who didn’t have a good number of mental and/or physical issues from a very young age and a great number were abused in some fashion when very young also. This is not to condone a sex change (or other gender reassignment activity) which causes a man or woman to behave and present as the opposite sex, however. It is to explain why I believe that most transgender situations arise out of physical or emotional issues, including birth defects and it is doing such people a great disservice to go along with their wounded perception of theirself instead of helping them to express their gender/sex as God intended for them to be. I would like to hope that we would treat them as any other victims of a physical and/or mental birth defect and see that they got the help that they need. BTW I also happen to believe that a great deal of SSA can be explained in this fashion too and in both types of disordered behavior that the key to the issue is to treat them as you would anyone else who is suffering from a birth defect or mental issue.
 
I have to admit that I don’t even know how to answer the pole. I am a woman. And I am the particular woman that I am. If I like hunting and fishing should I say that I have some masculine traits and so feel mostly feminine but with some masculine feelings? How are we even defining feminine and masculine for the sake of the pole??
 
ethereality said:
Recently Google forced me to tell them my gender, and the choices were male, female, and other. This raised some questions.

How should we define gender? How should we define sex? How should pronouns be used? What other genders exist besides male and female?

(emphasis added)

Some people said to me that gender goes beyond the sex binary, and recommended I read more about gender identity. It seems to me that while sex remains binary, there is a spectrum of masculinity and femininity: Thus some men are more masculine than others, and there are masculine women and feminine men. However, I do not see how this relates to gender and gender identity. Gender identity is one’s identification or statement of one’s gender, correct? Is gender identity simply the articulation of how comfortable one is with one’s sex? If one’s gender is not determined by one’s sex, then how does one ascertain one’s gender? What genders exist? By what criteria are they defined? By whom are they defined?

It appears to me that people establish their definitions of gender, and thereby of gender identity, in two ways: By agreeing or disagreeing with cultural expectations, and by comparing their experiences with stereotypes they perceive. If this is true, then how can one know that one’s gender identity is correct? It seems very subjective, almost a guess, rather than a deduction. For example, if there are 20 stereotypes of men and women, someone could identify with women after matching five stereotypes of women and none of men, without looking at the remaining 15 of each. If he had, the end result may have been 15 matched stereotypes of men and only five of women, thereby reversing the conclusion. The situation is in fact more complicated than this, and the impressions that are formed by individuals are commonly influenced by the entertainment industry, particularly television and cinema. So there’s the added question of which data used to determine gender identity are reliable, since both real-life interactions and fictional depictions shape how we regard being male and female (and then fictional depictions later influence real-life interactions).

There is also the question of pronoun use: If there can exist a difference between sex and gender, should pronouns reflect one’s sex, or one’s gender? This question seems particularly important for written communication and internet interaction, where personal expectations are established without visual confirmation.

Please share your thoughts on these matters. Thank you.
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I really think this just boils down to the modern understanding of phenomenology and existentialism. According to these perspectives, there is no substantial connection between body and mind. I can disown my body. I can feel whatever I want to feel in spite of my body. This is fueled by the prevailing consumerist and materialistic society which we live in, where people are seen chiefly as subjectively real objects, not as objectively real subjects. Thus, I have no responsibility to the material world, except to the extent that it concerns my own pleasure (hedonism), and the pleasure of others if I do gain pleasure from them having pleasure. Freedom is seen as a Sartresian means to its own end, for “hell is [the reality of] other people”.

I once told someone, “roads paved for walking and not travelling leads everywhere but anywhere”. I think that could apply here.

Unless a philosophy is adopted that sees the body as a substantial extension of the mind–the soul, even-- then the gender vs sex dichotomy will stand indeterminate as a muddy grey.
 
Anthony, it appears you are recapitulating Blessed John Paul II’s theology of the body, namely, repeating his thesis that the body is a physical manifestation of the subject. Does this thesis not imply what others have already said, that if one’s body is male, then so is one’s gender?
 
Jenny35 said:
My thoughts:

If you are female you are female/feminine gender.

If you are male you are male/masculine gender.

Female = she, her

Male = he, him

End of.
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In English, sure. Not so much in other languages.

I’m curious how we know which attributes are feminine and which are masculine. It seems like there would a lot of overlap. For instance, protectiveness at first glance seems like it would be masculine, but I also connect it with mothers towards their children. 🤷

If you asked me, I would say that I’m female, but that I’m not particularly feminine or masculine compared to other females. I like a lot of gender-neutral things,
 
Jenny35 said:
My thoughts:

If you are female you are female/feminine gender.

If you are male you are male/masculine gender.

Female = she, her

Male = he, him

End of.
Click to expand...
English, unlike Spanish does not assign gender to otherwise neuter objects. Mountains aren’t particularly feminine but they are considered feminine, such as “las montanas”. Sorry I do not have the unique mark above the n.

I think it was Peter Kreeft that said that masculinity and femininity goes beyond merely male and female. Love, el amor, is masculine while peace, la paz is feminine.
 
Sarcelle said:
English, unlike Spanish does not assign gender to otherwise neuter objects. Mountains aren’t particularly feminine but they are considered feminine, such as “las montanas”. Sorry I do not have the unique mark above the n.

I think it was Peter Kreeft that said that masculinity and femininity goes beyond merely male and female. Love, el amor, is masculine while peace, la paz is feminine.
Click to expand...
I hear that Japanese has dozens of first-person pronouns, all of which say something different about the speaker and their relationship with the person they are addressing. There are some that are exclusively feminine, some that are exclusively masculine, and some that are usually used by one gender or the other, but which can be used by both in certain contexts. 🙂

In English, it seems simple- but not every language is the same.
 
Can I ask those who answered to explain what they mean by saying they are masculine or feminine? I still can’t figure out how I can possibly answer the poll because I can’t figure out what it means to say I am masculine or feminine… Just that you have some traits that you in particular consider one or the other?
 
The question is in English, my native and only language. Hence, I can only answer in English. DNA establishes what gender a person is. Though there are some with genetic anomalies, they are statistically insignificant . As I know so little about these people I am not qualified to comment regarding the OPs question.They are in no way insignificant to God, to me, or any charitable person.

The poster who commented earlier hit the nail on the head. He or she, him or her.

This answer is self evident regarding definitions of gender. Gender has one definition. Sex has several. I take it that in the question about sex and gender they are synonymous. I apologize if I misunderstood your meaning.

This question is only commonly asked these days because people want to justify their behavior. They use it as justification to violate natural law. That is why we have been bombarded by the modern, popular culture with messages about tolerance and homophobia and transgender. It is a lie, suggested and reinforced by the father of lies.
They are used to deceive, to have us cave in, to disordered unnatural and , dare I say, sinful behavior.

I am tolerant of people, I am not tolerant of evil behavior. I am not tolerant when people spout their glorification of evil in my presence. I judge nobody, I’m not God. I do judge behavior.
It is not charity to confirm someone in their sin.
 
Kamaduck said:
Sex = physical

Gender = mental

They go together, but they’re not quite the same. 🙂
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I do not agree with that…

In Medical record keeping

Gender=male or female and it is not based on anything but the parts, an expression of the chromosomes

and sometimes in the nursery…

What sex is the child male or female

interchangeable

and as far as the OP it reminds of some posters that fight tooth and nail over definitions according to the Oxford dictionary…the bottom line is use whatever you use and if someone else uses whatever they use and you don’t understand, then just ask…

What do you mean by that?
 
CopticChristian said:
I do not agree with that…

In Medical record keeping

Gender=male or female and it is not based on anything but the parts, an expression of the chromosomes

and sometimes in the nursery…

What sex is the child male or female

interchangeable

and as far as the OP it reminds of some posters that fight tooth and nail over definitions according to the Oxford dictionary…the bottom line is use whatever you use and if someone else uses whatever they use and you don’t understand, then just ask…

What do you mean by that?
Click to expand...
I think using the right words is crucial. I can see why “gender” might be synonymous with sex in a medical setting, but I don’t think it’s used like that all the time. Ultimately, the dictionary definitions are decided by social consensus. So there aren’t so much right and wrong definitions of words as there are common and uncommon definitions of words.

If there are large groups of people who think sex=gender, and large groups of people who think gender=mental and sex=physical, then both are valid definitions.

Anyways, I still think the use of pronouns depends on the language. And I really wish English had a gender-neutral pronoun other that “it”. I’m in favor of using “they” to refer to persons of indeterminate gender (whether because we don’t know their gender or because we are talking about a hypothetical person who could be either gender). Sadly, most English teachers tell me that this is simply bad grammar, but if enough people use it, it will become accepted speech. In fact, my iPad dictionary is telling me that “they” has been used as a singular pronoun since at least the 16th century. 🤷
 
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