How soon to get engaged?

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Age difference is no problem I think: what’s important is real maturity; this often has NOTHING to do with age, and at any rate nobody on this board could know better than you how mature your bf is

Most important is the difference between “discussing marriage”, “discussing marrying each other”, and “proposing”
the first two can come quite quickly, and actually it’s great that you are discussing these topics, it IS the best way to deepen your relationship
  • discussing marriage enables to confront one’s opinions and expectations regarding many important and sensitive topics
  • discussing marriage to each other enables to talk more easily and freely about these topics. One feels more loved, and sees how essential it is to discuss these things sincerely as he may engage himself for life on these grounds
proposing, and getting engaged, is, to my opinion, when you feel ready to set a real date, quite soon.

As for us, we met when we were nearly 19 (2005). We had our first talks about “getting married sometime” after 2 or 3 months. DH even talked about 2008 as a possibility, if we chose the specialization we finally did choose (I answered: “heyyyyyyy, that would be wayyyy to early”😃 🤷 )
  • he proposed in July 2007. We got married in August 2008, nearly 3 years after meeting.
 
FrenchGwen said:
Age difference is no problem I think: what’s important is real maturity; this often has NOTHING to do with age, and at any rate nobody on this board could know better than you how mature your bf is

Most important is the difference between “discussing marriage”, “discussing marrying each other”, and “proposing”
the first two can come quite quickly, and actually it’s great that you are discussing these topics, it IS the best way to deepen your relationship
  • discussing marriage enables to confront one’s opinions and expectations regarding many important and sensitive topics
  • discussing marriage to each other enables to talk more easily and freely about these topics. One feels more loved, and sees how essential it is to discuss these things sincerely as he may engage himself for life on these grounds
proposing, and getting engaged, is, to my opinion, when you feel ready to set a real date, quite soon.
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I think this is excellent advice! In my opinion, talking about marriage shouldn’t happen only when the man wants to pick out an engagement ring…that’s much too late in the game.
 
To give everyone a little update (already), I talked to my bf tonight and he assured me that he wasn’t planning on proposing to me anytime soon. I had been nervous because of some comments he had made about Valentine’s Day. It’s a relief to know that we’re still on the same page, where we are most of the time. We both understand that we need more time to get to know each other. 👍

Communication used to be very difficult for me in my past relationships, but I have an amazing connection with my bf. I’ve been able to talk to him about anything since our first date. I thank everyone for their advice. We’re planning on discussing more issues/expectations and visiting http://foryourmarriage.org/ soon after we’re both back at school. I am so blessed to have him in my life. When my past relationships didn’t work out, I always tried to remind myself that God must have someone pretty special for me. I’m sure glad God is leading the way!! :getholy:
 
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