How Specific Should One Get in Confession...?

[St_Aloysius]

As an unconfirmed, unreceived Catholic (please pray that parental opposition to my conversion will cease!), I sometimes read about first-time confessions, and it leaves me wondering:

How specific must one be? How specific SHOULD one be?

Some people tell me it’s not necessary to bog down the priest in all the “juicy details” of your sins–others tell me it’s more alleviating to tell all, that it helps one to really release the burden.

I really think I agree with the latter… but of course that’s the harder of the two options.

I tend to internalize a lot of the stress and guilt brought about by certain immoral choices I’m prone to make; I utilize meditation and centering prayer to counter this, and have seen my prayer life transformed radically in finding a new sense of honesty with myself when entering into divine dialogue–still, at the end of the day, sometimes my soul just craves sacramental confession, the catharsis of it all.

There’s a part of me that longs to embrace my imperfection.

What do you all think?

 

[kristie_m]

As an unconfirmed, unreceived Catholic (please pray that parental opposition to my conversion will cease!), I sometimes read about first-time confessions, and it leaves me wondering:

How specific must one be? How specific SHOULD one be?

Some people tell me it’s not necessary to bog down the priest in all the “juicy details” of your sins–others tell me it’s more alleviating to tell all, that it helps one to really release the burden.

I really think I agree with the latter… but of course that’s the harder of the two options.

I tend to internalize a lot of the stress and guilt brought about by certain immoral choices I’m prone to make; I utilize meditation and centering prayer to counter this, and have seen my prayer life transformed radically in finding a new sense of honesty with myself when entering into divine dialogue–still, at the end of the day, sometimes my soul just craves sacramental confession, the catharsis of it all.

There’s a part of me that longs to embrace my imperfection.

What do you all think?

This is my own take on it, and it may not be right for everyone. There’s not a real need to confess in intimate detail…it would be the difference between saying “I robbed a liquor store” vs. “I went to the liquor store on the corner of first and A street and held a gun to the head of the clerk demanding money, etc.” I think the priest will get the idea, and God already knows the gory details.

On the other hand, if, by sparing the details, you somehow sense that you are not making a true confession, or are eliminating some important aspect of it that would make it a mortal, rather than venial sin, then yes, pehaps some detail is warrented.

I agree that offering the details does make me personally feel more “cleansed”,but it’s not strictly necessary. Hope this helps some.

 

[LilyM]

This is my own take on it, and it may not be right for everyone. There’s not a real need to confess in intimate detail…it would be the difference between saying “I robbed a liquor store” vs. “I went to the liquor store on the corner of first and A street and held a gun to the head of the clerk demanding money, etc.” I think the priest will get the idea, and God already knows the gory details.

On the other hand, if, by sparing the details, you somehow sense that you are not making a true confession, or are eliminating some important aspect of it that would make it a mortal, rather than venial sin, then yes, pehaps some detail is warrented.

I agree that offering the details does make me personally feel more “cleansed”,but it’s not strictly necessary. Hope this helps some.

Remember that as well as stuff that affects the gravity of the sin, you should also mention detail that might help the priest in the advice he gives to you.

So yes, ‘I robbed a store’ is too little, and your story is too much. Things like pulling a gun on someone during a robbery matters though - it makes the sin more serious and the priest may give you different advice to if it was unarmed.

 

[Spirithound]

How specific must one be? How specific SHOULD one be?

Some people tell me it’s not necessary to bog down the priest in all the “juicy details” of your sins–others tell me it’s more alleviating to tell all, that it helps one to really release the burden.

I really think I agree with the latter… but of course that’s the harder of the two options.

It is alleviating to tell all, and you should tell all, but only the sins, and the “aggravating factors” so to speak. We should confess mortal sins according to “kind and number”, so what it is, and how many times, or for how long. You sound to have a healthy prayer life, so what I like to do is go through the confession in my head, name my sins, and work out the details ahead of time so I know what I’m going to say. This helps me to get everything worded right so I don’t miss anything, or misname anything, and it helps me to discern the relevant details.
God bless.

 

[kristie_m]

Remember that as well as stuff that affects the gravity of the sin, you should also mention detail that might help the priest in the advice he gives to you.

Good point!

So yes, ‘I robbed a store’ is too little, and your story is too much. Things like pulling a gun on someone during a robbery matters though - it makes the sin more serious and the priest may give you different advice to if it was unarmed.

I was going to use a better example, but decided it wouldn’t be appropriate.

 

[EasterJoy]

I was going to use a better example, but decided it wouldn’t be appropriate.

It is like giving a medical history to a doctor. To a doctor, you might say you have urgency but not increased frequency when you urinate, without incontinence. Then he know you don’t have to go any more often than usual, but when you have to go, you REALLY have to go. Still, you don’t wet your pants. You wouldn’t have to go into the details of where or when this happens, unless there is some consistent pattern that you think might be important…like how much coffee you have been drinking, and so on. The idea is to hold nothing back that might be needed to make a diagnosis, without giving unneeded information. This is why both doctors and priests are allowed to ask questions.

Give the general details that allow you to best describe the sins and pattern of sin you have been guilty of. “Clinical” terminology might help you spit it out quickly and concisely.

 

[Padua_Minded]

As an unconfirmed, unreceived Catholic (please pray that parental opposition to my conversion will cease!), I sometimes read about first-time confessions, and it leaves me wondering:

How specific must one be? How specific SHOULD one be?

Some people tell me it’s not necessary to bog down the priest in all the “juicy details” of your sins–others tell me it’s more alleviating to tell all, that it helps one to really release the burden.

I really think I agree with the latter… but of course that’s the harder of the two options.

I tend to internalize a lot of the stress and guilt brought about by certain immoral choices I’m prone to make; I utilize meditation and centering prayer to counter this, and have seen my prayer life transformed radically in finding a new sense of honesty with myself when entering into divine dialogue–still, at the end of the day, sometimes my soul just craves sacramental confession, the catharsis of it all.

There’s a part of me that longs to embrace my imperfection.

What do you all think?

You are required to confess only the nature of the sin. If the detail does not add the gravity of the sin, there is no need to confess it. However if in theory you were to commit violence against your parents, you would need to specify that in confession, because committing violence against a total stranger is less serious than committing it against one’s own parents.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

You do not have to go into detail about the sins, and should avoid doing so, especially sins of the flesh. You don’t want to provide images that your confessor will have to deal with.

You can confess that you sinned against chastity and thats enough.

The priest gives absolution for both venial and mortal sins, so its not necessarily important for him to know the gravity of the sin.

Also, if he does need more info, he’ll ask and from what I understand, the biggest problem priests have with people making their confession, is scrupulosity.

Jim

 

[aimee]

Is having impure thoughts or entertaining them venial or mortal…so in confession one wouldn’t have to be explicit

 

[JimR-OCDS]

Is having impure thoughts or entertaining them venial or mortal…so in confession one wouldn’t have to be explicit

No, all the person has to do is confess that he’s had impure thoughts.

It doesn’t matter if your confessing a mortal sin or a venial sin, you are absolved from both at the same time.

Jim

 

[quiet52]

committing violence against a total stranger is less serious than committing it against one’s own parents.

really?

 

[EasterJoy]

You can confess that you sinned against chastity and thats enough.

You can be more specific than that without being in the least bit graphic. Sins against chastity can range all the way from a seductive gesture to something that results in out-of-wedlock birth, and that doesn’t even get into the things that require the help of a mental health professional. That is a very large ball field of seriousness. Overly vague confessions are also less than helpful if you want your confessor to be able to give some ball park advice on how to avoid the sin in the future.

It depends on the confessor, though. Probably it is best to ask your confessor whether you are being specific enough or too specific in your details.

 

[JimR-OCDS]

You can be more specific than that without being in the least bit graphic. Sins against chastity can range all the way from a seductive gesture to something that results in out-of-wedlock birth, and that doesn’t even get into the things that require the help of a mental health professional. That is a very large ball field of seriousness. Overly vague confessions are also less than helpful if you want your confessor to be able to give some ball park advice on how to avoid the sin in the future.

It depends on the confessor, though. Probably it is best to ask your confessor whether you are being specific enough or too specific in your details.

If the confessor needs more information, he’ll ask for more.

An out of wedlock birth is the sin of fornication, but then there also could be the sin of abandonment of the mother and child. The person has to examine his/her conscience on this, the priest isn’t going to read you mind, unless he’s Padre Pio.

Sins against chastity generally are, viewing immoral material, and masturbation, and lust.

Sins of fornication consist of sexual acts with a person you are not married to, etc.

Jim

 

[AHapka]

There was one confession I had where I had a concern about whether I was specific enough. I asked the Priest if he needed more detail, and he said no.

Give the basic details, and if you are still concerned, just ask. Then you know for sure.

 

[Spirithound]

really?

Yes, although I would have stated it the other way, that attacking your parents is more serious than attacking a stranger, since attacking your parents is compounded by the sin of not honouring them.