How to answer those who ask why you’re becoming Catholic

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Salamandrina

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Hi, and firstly apologies to the several kind folk who replied to me, and I neglected to answer. Had a rough few weeks emotionally.

Anyway, I tried to find this topic, and couldn’t find one that described what I wanted to ask, so here goes, and sorry if it’s repetitive.

I’m secular Jewish, in my 60s, and having tried out my roots, so to speak, it just isn’t me. I felt that I was trying to be someone I’m not. Over the few years, I’ve become friends with several Jewish folk.

What I would like to know is…how do I deal with/what do I say to those who will( and I know they will) comment/ask why I’m going in this direction?(am in the process of getting to know about the details of conversion, and have been going to online services for months now. I love the Divine Office, and have a Blessed Sacrament Chaplet. I’m ‘penpals’ with a Sister, who is wonderful at getting me on track when I Get a little distracted )

This year was the first time I experienced Easter: growing up(in a nominally Protestant area and school)it was church at the end of term, then holidays. Nothing more. This year was…something I don’t have words for.

I know this is the way for me; yes, I have some difficulties(particularly health wise - am basically housebound)but I’ve made contact with my local priest, so, hopefully, he will be able to advise me.

I was thinking that maybe I could just not mention it…but I don’t want to do that. It’s a big thing for me, and not talking about it makes it seem as though
I’m embarrassed, which I’m not, in the slightest. I’m just not very good at being asked and answering things like this though.

I strongly suspect that some will try to tell me its a “phase”(it isn’t)and various other such things. I’m 65 and have been through a lot, and just want to soak up the comforting feelings that I get. Never had anything like that before.

I’ve not had the kind of feeling of comfort and peace that I get; it feels right. Its my life, and I’m not obliged to explain myself to anyone(except my cat)…no family. The friends are mostly online.

This might seem trivial, but I’d be glad to have any thoughts or suggestions.

Thanks
Alex
 
Just say that for you, the Catholic Church is the truth. It is where you feel most at home. And leave it at that.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Welcome home!
 
I think Dear Abby, believe it or not, has some excellent advice for this kind of question.

First response: Surprised look followed by, “My goodness. I wonder why you are asking me such a personal question.”
This gets the person wondering if they are indeed ‘close’ enough to ask such a thing.

If they’re insensitive or clueless enough to continue with “I want to know, are you ashamed or whatever triggers (some people are like piranhas) then a simple. “Ah, well. This is my personal choice. Thank you for your concern.” Followed by firm subject changing.

The fact is, at your age -which I soon will turn—and unless your mom is alive, like mine, there is really nobody else who ‘needs to know’ this. If you’re married you’ve already discussed this with your spouse and kids if they’re home and would be directly affected, so this is more friends and acquaintances. You don’t ‘owe’ them anything. You’re still exploring, you are entitled to have your experiences first without having to second-guess, blow by blow explain, etc And as you know, religion is a hot button topic even among one’s co-religionists, let alone one’s soon to be former CRs. Simple, polite, one word or one sentence, and don’t feel pressured.
 
Congratulations in following the call of God toward Catholicism. I think when you are in your 60s, as I am, it is a great time of freedom–freedom to tell the truth and be who you are, without fear. I would just tell anyone who asks that you have found truth and beauty in Catholicism and are being led that way. I have often asked people, “of course you want me to follow what I believe is right for me and will lead to my fulfillment, right?” If they can’t answer “yes” to that–well, I’d reevaluate the friendship.

I have found there are two types of people. One will react negatively and/or just be dismissive of the whole thing. The other type will be genuinely curious and say “that’s interesting, I want to hear more about that.” I gravitate toward the latter as people who are truly open to more than a merely superficial friendship.

You said you were a secular Jew, but I wonder whether you’ve read such works as Roy Schoeman’s Salvation is from the Jews? Great book; I learned a lot!
 
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Irishmom2 said:
You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Welcome home!
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While I would agree with the premise, the reality is that there are many people, often including family and close friends, who are either going to demand an answer or engage in brow beating about how wrong the Catholic Church is.

A simple answer to “Why did you…” is to say “This meets my spiritual needs”; which avoids rebuttal to an answer basically saying " I found the truth". The latter will simply invite a monologue intended to be an argument.

If someone approaches with an open mind and curiosity, not a negative approach, the OP can tell them what attracted him.

After the first answer, if they come back attacking, just simply say “thank you for your concern” and then change the subject; if they refuse to get off their high horse, just simply say that this is off topic and out of bounds and you do not with to engage.
 
Also, you could just say you’re exploring the idea, or wanting to find out more. Then your friends might feel less alarmed and feel less compelled to try to talk you out of it.
I worried about this too when I became Catholic and no one really cared that much 😂!
I think my “fallen away” Catholic in-laws were a bit befuddled, and I verbally sparred quite a bit with my sister, and then I realized she knew very little about Christianity in general.
It was easier for me since my husband is a
Catholic and I think people assumed it was because he is Catholic.
 
My answer, and it may not be what you’re looking for, (but I have faced exactly this question and it was my go to answer) is “because I am a sinner and I can’t fix that. I need Jesus.”
 
Just tell them that you found the true faith, which is an everlasting treasure.
 
Short answer - I reply that I was seeking and the Holy Spirit led me to the Catholic Church.
 
stpurl said:
The fact is, at your age -which I soon will turn—and unless your mom is alive, like mine, there is really nobody else who ‘needs to know’ this. If you’re married you’ve already discussed this with your spouse and kids if they’re home and would be directly affected, so this is more friends and acquaintances. You don’t ‘owe’ them anything. You’re still exploring, you are entitled to have your experiences first without having to second-guess, blow by blow explain, etc And as you know, religion is a hot button topic even among one’s co-religionists, let alone one’s soon to be former CRs. Simple, polite, one word or one sentence, and don’t feel pressured.
Click to expand...
Thanks to everyone who responded, and particularly for the part I’ve quoted here - there really isn’t a need for me to tell anyone. I’m a widow, both parents gone, no children, just me and my cat. For some reason, I’ve always felt that I have to tell “people” things, if asked. And I don’t! Taken me a long time to realise that, but better late than never…

It’s no one’s business but mine. It doesn’t mean I’m embarrassed or ashamed, it just means I know that times too precious to waste on telling folk things that’s arent their business and that I know will just attract unwanted attention.

Thanks and love
Alex
 
While we should be ready to give an answer for the joy in our hearts, we do not owe anyone an answer on such a personal level as to why we are converting.
From one convert to another, I couldn’t care less about what others thought. Those that were happy for me and supported me were great. Those that weren’t supportive or questioned me, well I hope they enjoyed the jump into the lake they were invited to take.
 
Yes, welcome home Alex, and I’m sure we all wish you a wonderful time joining the Church and going through RCIA! As a convert myself of twelve years, I’ve been so thankful and happy that I joined the Church.
Wishing you God’s blessings on your journey into the Church, and for all the years after!
 
I’ve been going to a lot of online services, and have a wonderful Sister who I email With. She’s a huge help, and also I see her and the other Sisters every morning at morning prayers, as they livestream. The whole lockdown situation has made a lot of things available - and I have great difficulty getting out in any case. So for now, I’m getting lots of support and learning and becoming aware of how little I knew.
 
Thanks - I’m very interested in Edith Stein, and Maximilian Kolbe. However, this seems to be a Messianic Judaism site, and that’s definitely not something I’m interested in.

I appreciate your kindness, but it’s not my cup of tea. I was basically born Jewish, and grew up in a basic Protestant area in Glasgow. I had no Jewish education or any contacts.

Alex
 
I had another look; and I really doubt that many Catholics celebrate Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, so it’s difficult to see how they are solidly Catholic.

Regarding Messianic Judaism in general, Ive found that in that community, Theres a reluctance to be upfront about it, and that’s not something I find attractive or honest.
 
Many people wondered the same things about my conversion, especially since I am in my early 20’s. People asked me if I was in a relationship with someone that was Catholic, if it was just a phase, etc. they didn’t understand why someone young would just up and decide to become Catholic without being raised that way

Whenever someone said why I always answered them the same-- “Because I think it’s true.” Life is too short not to commit to what you believe in, even when it may be uncomfortable for you and the people around you. Then if they wanted to know more, i would share more about my testimony.

Many people will still think it’s a phase or that you have ulterior motives, but they will eventually accept it to be true once they see you go through with it and then hopefully see fruits of it in your life.

Congratulations and blessings to you on this journey!!
 
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