How to approach Lutheran friends

[IMAbeliever]

Hi-

My wife and DD are on a mother-daugh. retreat. Very orthodox and true to the Church’s teachings.

My wife expects that our good Lutheran friends will questions why we did not invite them. Truth is – they are good people but would not follow or accept Church teaching (ABC, life positions, etc…)

How can she tactfully explain this w/o offending them and damaging the relationship? When we “rehearse” what to say it sounds exclusive or snooty- that’s not our intent obviously.

 

[kage_ar]

Do these friends expected to be invited on all of your family outings? Vacations? If they do, well, that is a bit odd.

Perhaps let them know the name of the retreat center and offer to get them information on when the next reatreat is available. Who knows, they might want to go and be brought closer to the Church.

 

[IMAbeliever]

No, they don’t expect to be included in all activities…but we are very close friends with them and we do a lot together. Our daughters are best friends.

We do not talk Church doctrine with them. The husband is an ex-Catholic. I gave him my pitch once about returning to the Church a long time ago. They are strong Lutherans, I guess would be a good way to put it. His family is liberal leaning, even though his mother works for the Church

You can see where the confusion comes in –

 

[kage_ar]

Then I’d say

“Mary and Sally went on a retreat this weekend”

“why did you not invite us??”

“Since it was a Catholic retreat, I did not think you would be interested. We’ll let you know the next time we make a retreat, it would be wonderful if you wanted to make one as well!”

 

[gardenswithkids]

…We do not talk Church doctrine with them. The husband is an ex-Catholic…

Why not tell them you expected the retreat would include Catholic doctrine and devotion to Mary, and other things that might contradict with their Lutheran faith.

If you don’t discuss Church doctrine with them and think they would be uncomfortable with Church doctrine, I don’t understand why you think they would be offended by not being invited to a Catholic retreat. If they are, invite them to another retreat or to other Catholic events, and begin to include Catholic teaching into your discussions. If they are really interested in attending a Catholic retreat, maybe they are more interested in Catholicism than you realize. You wrote he’s an ex-Catholic and his mom works for the Church. I would expect that his mom is praying for his return to the Chuch, and I wouldn’t assume that those prayers would go unanswered.