How to balance relationships?

  • Thread starter Thread starter LillyFaith
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

LillyFaith

Guest
Hi, I am 15 and I recently got into a relationship (about 3 months ago.) It’s often hard for me to balance my love life and God, plus the relationship is a long distance one. I have been struggling with sexual sin for some time now, I’d say maybe 2 years, and sometimes I fall into that type of sin, whether it be action or thought. The problem with this is I feel like my boyfriend is causing me to sin, not him personally because he’s not like that, but I feel like he’s too much of a temptation for me. He’s also an atheist so sometimes I wonder if I am doing something wrong. I’ve been trying my best but at the beginning of each new week (usually after confession) I seem to fall right back into the same old loop of sexual thoughts and actions. I am also going through a spiritual dryness so I feel further from God than usual. If you have any tips or advice that would be so much help!! My goal is at least to eliminate some temptations because I feel like that’s the main issue. Thanks! God bless! xo 😊
 
It should not be hard to balance your love life and God, because God should be in your love life. You need to remember that the goal of any romantic relationship should be to receive the sacrament of Holy Matrimony and become one. It is definitely easier to resist temptations, when both people involved in the relationship want to resist temptations. It is also helpful to keep occupied, and try to avoid scenarios where lustful thoughts arise. Just remember that you are hurting both of your souls by giving in. Lust is something I’ve struggled with and still struggle with more than any other sin.

I went through what I think you mean by “spiritual dryness” too, and finally overcame it simply be getting to know more about our faith. I started listening to Stations of the Cross Catholic radio station in the car, and eventually at home on the website. I started reading the bible outside of Mass for the first time. I started seeking out answers to all of the things I was confused about with the Catholic faith. As long as I’m reading about Catholicism my faith is growing stronger.
 
Thank you so much for the advice! My only problem is I feel I was dumb to rush right into a relationship. It’s nearly impossible to do anything about it, it seems. I have explained some things to him about this whole issue and I sometimes really want to go back to when it was just me and God and I didn’t have someone else in the middle that interfered with my relationship with God and my morals. I don’t know what the best thing to do is, so I’ve been trying to distance myself from him a little so I don’t make him the center of my life. Since I go to an online charter school, I have noticed a lot of girls always give him attention so I know if I ever let him go it would be no problem for him. For now, I know what I want, how I am going to get there? I do not know.
 
Well, be sure to bring your questions and struggles to God in prayer, and don’t feel trapped. It’s not impossible to do anything about your relationship, you can do whatever you feel God would want you to do.
 
If you have access to any kind of Catholic youth group or youth ministry, they can likely give you help regarding the “sexual temptation”. This is something that many if not most teens have to wrestle with, thanks to hormones.

I am more concerned that you are 15 years old and having a relationship with an atheist. If I had brought home a professed atheist at age 15, my mother would have thrown him out of the house and grounded me for life.

I may have dated some and certainly had some for friends when I was much older than 15, but by then I was more firmly grounded in my own beliefs and not as susceptible to the influence of others.
 
True, the thing is my mom didn’t want me dating anyone until after college… I disobeyed and now I know why. I thought I could handle things on my own, and even though I am not in any ‘super serious’ situation because of it, I at least know that this wasn’t meant for me.

However, I am not the person to sit here and do nothing, I use it to my advantage. Like a tool to try to overcome certain sin and to gain experience as in what I should not do in future relationships or possibly what I should do in future relationships. I want to use it to my advantage and that’s how I felt when we first got together like God had something special in mind and he wanted to see what I would make of it all.
 
I didn’t date until college, and now I’m marrying the first person I’ve dated. We became friends through attending mass together and then started dating, and now we’ve been together for 4 years. I think it’s really important to become friends before dating, because then you know your relationship wasn’t founded on infatuation, and your significant other should eventually become your best friend anyway.

In high school I always wanted to date, but I know it was for the wrong reasons, and now that I’m with the person I should be, I’m glad I never so much as kissed anyone else. Guess social anxiety was good for something in its time…
 
If you’ve been attracted to boys for two years now, but have been talking to this boy for only three months, then I don’t see how the boy is your main concern.

I seems like I should point out that at 15 years of age it is perfectly normal to have feelings towards the opposite sex. It’s not something to be buried, shunned or thought of as sinful or dirty. It’s the way God made us and He understands our physiology.

And just because you think about boys doesn’t mean that God isn’t first in your life. As you get older many things will require more and more time and attention from you. Again, this doesn’t mean that God isn’t first in your life.

Also, I’m just curious so don’t feel like you have to answer this question. Have you ever met this boy or is this an online relationship only? The reason I’m asking is because I’ve never heard someone describing an online relationship as dating.
 
Last edited:
One thing to note is that there is a difference between being in a relationship and just being close friends. Dating/courting/relationship stuff is all geared towards finding a potential spouse. You aren’t just in a relationship for fun (although it is usually fun). That is why folks will tell you 15 is a little too young. You won’t be making any life changing decisions for at least 3 years.

As Tis_Bearself noted, one gets much more mature around 17-18. Not that it is your fault but you get out in the world more and get a feel for how things go on. I can tell you with certainty that there was a big difference between 17 year old Entwhistler and 18 year old Entwhistler in terms of maturity. Not that I’m blaming you for being in a relationship at 15. I’m just saying you might find it easier when you are older and able to handle it better.
 
Try to do the will of God and rely on Jesus .ask for the Grace to keep holy in thoughts, words and actions also ask the intercession of your patron saint and Mother Mary. avoid the occasions of sins ,Prioritize your life ,do your daily duties as per the will of God which he called you to do the state of life ,especially to study.Sure after confessions always the devil will tempt us more but we have to resist it by his Grace,also try to say the Rosary it is very powerful against sin and temptations .
1 peter 5: 7 Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. 8 Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters[e] in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

.Dont fall into unwanted relationships at this age many have ruined their lives, later, Find a catholic not an atheist

Mathew 6:33 But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Psalms 119:9 How can young people keep their way pure?By guarding it according to your word.
10 With my whole heart I seek you;do not let me stray from your commandments.
11 I treasure your word in my heart,so that I may not sin against you.12 Blessed are you, O Lord;teach me your statutes.13 With my lips I declare all the ordinances of your mouth.14 I delight in the way of your decrees as much as in all riches.
 
15 years old is too young to be in a relationship, in my opinion. If you are struggling with sins of the flesh you definitely should not be in a relationship. Also, you should not be in a relationship with someone who rejects God. Do you see all the red flags? You need to get your spiritual state in order and that is not going to happen by keeping up a relationship with an atheist. If someone is causing you to sin then you need to avoid that person.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top