How to be a great Husband and Father

[dizzy_dave]

I’m 32, married, 4 kids, male. How can I be a Great Husband and Father? Time is impossible to find, I know how important it is but there is so much to do, God, family, home, work, etc. What can I do to get better at this?

 

[asquared]

God first, your wife next, then your kids, then the rest of your family, then your job, then your community and civic duties, then everything else. If you dedicate time each morning and each evening to prayer, all the other hours of the day and time priorities will fall into place. If you neglect prayer, alone and with your wife and family, you will never get a handle on the rest of your life. 3 suggestions for prayer: the rosary, the rosary, and the rosary

 

[familyof8]

I have the world’s greatest husband. He is wonderful. Why?

He has a tremendous spiritual life. He travels a lot and instead of listening to the radio while he drives, he prays, prays, prays.

He is attentive to my needs. If I am folding laundry, he comes and helps. If I need someone to talk to, he listens. When I am struggling, he prays for me. He treats me as if I am a special gift from God, which He tells me often that I am.

He is an active father. He plays with the children. He disciplines the children. He loves the children.

He often isn’t home until late. But when he comes home, he doesn’t sit down and pronounce he’s tired. He doesn’t search for “down” time. He doesn’t search for “his” time. He searches for us and how he can be involved for the short time before bed.

How would I sum it up in a few words? He loves us enough to sacrifice for us. Even when he is tired, he puts our needs first. I hope that I do the same for him. Marriage isn’t about give and take. Atleast not our marriage. It is about giving and through that giving, WOW, how much you receive.

 

[Bill_Buck]

Dave,

It all comes with practice. I am 42 with 7 kids. I would like to think that I am a better father and husband now than I was 8 years ago or 15 years ago. Learn from your mistakes don’t repeat them. Learn from your successes, if it works keep it. I like to think that I have 17 years experience at this, not one year of experience 17 times.

Develop good fatherly habits. Besides setting aside special time for prayer and study, keep a prayerful attitude. Be Christ like. Be gentle and caring, be nice. If you enter into the hallowed halls of fatherhood leave your ego at the door. Fatherhood is sacrifice. Place the needs of others before your own wants.

Fatherhood is discipline. You have to be able to discipline yourself if you expect to properly discipline your children or have your children learn to discipline themselves. If you are upset about something give yourself time to cool off. Take it to God before you take it to anyone else. You are the primary male role model for your children. Avoid doing things that present a tarnished image that is short of a Godly Christian man.

Love your wife. Set some special time aside for each other. My wife and I have developed the habit of doing a “date night” once a week. Sometimes it is only a trip to a coffee shop or the grocery store but it is time alone (with out kids) together. This can be very difficult to do but it is extremely important. This has been made much easier for us and we go out more frequently since our eldest daughters are old enough to baby sit. We sorely missed this when we had four little ones running around. I can appreciate the situation of a young couple, short on monetary resources with young children. The nicest thing the good people we knew and trusted could do was to watch the little ones for an hour or two so we could go out.

Spend time with your kids. Do things at their level. This may mean attending a tea party with a four-year-old, a teddy bear, and a doll instead of doing some chore. Remember household projects (the honey do list) you will always have with you, but your children will only be with you a short time.

Don’t expect your children to be perfect. It is important to keep this frustration in check especially as children become older. Oh how I wish I could just put all my knowledge and experiences into their heads but it doesn’t work that way. Don’t place unrealistic demands on them but provide them with opportunities and challenges. I used to make breakfast every Saturday and Sunday the kids loved it. I have since turned this duty over to the kids (I supervise). As the children get older I am starting to teach them how to do things. I already know how to cook a decent meal, they don’t, and they need to learn. I am also teaching the older kids how teach the younger. An older brother and sister can teach a younger how to tie a shoe. Both children benefit. So delegate those tasks that you can, it frees up time to do other things.

Keep a sense of humor especially at times stress. Laugh, as a dad you can do silly fun things. Allow your children to laugh at you. Smile, the attitude you have will be the attitude your family adopts.

Go to church. Try to go to church as a family (I know this is difficult with little ones.) Eat together as a family (and not in front of a TV set.)

That’s it for now. My daughter just finished with the waffles it’s time to eat.

Bill

 

[Princess_Abby]

Bill!

What a beautiful testimony. I am very young and newly married, but reading your post is like taking a peek into how happy a home with many children and loving parents can be. I hope we have a family so full of love someday! My husband is a wonderful man and I pray that he can lead as you have done.

God Bless,
Abby

 

[Mijoy2]

Love them with all your heart and soul. ADMIT YOUR MISTAKES. Children will learn to admire this and learn that humility, rather then pride, leads to true joy.

If I could only use one word, it would be “listen”. Listen to them, it shows you care and shows your love. I’m still working on this. It’s so easy to allow yourself to get preoccupied.

I have two girls. Now, knowing what I know now about our faith, I wish I had more .

 

[1ke]

dizzy_dave:

I’m 32, married, 4 kids, male. How can I be a Great Husband and Father? Time is impossible to find, I know how important it is but there is so much to do, God, family, home, work, etc. What can I do to get better at this?

Visit www.dads.org. Steve Woods has a number of resources for dads who want to be Christian role models and the spiritual leader of the home. They also have St. Joseph’s Covenant Keepers groups. You will find a lot of support and advise through this group.