How to bring up my miscarriage to my mom?

[bernadetta1]

I’m not really sure where this fits in on this website.

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few years. We are long distance. On this last trip, we made a “mistake,” and I had a miscarriage right before he left to go back home. Only he knew I was pregnant. There was a mix of emotions, but we were definitely excited to finally start our lives together and bring a beautiful child into this world. I was only a month along when it happened, and we both grieved—hard. He has been able to move on, but even after months I still feel guilty and just really terrible.

I want to tell my mom. She’s my best friend, but I worry she won’t be sympathetic towards me over it, and I don’t even know how I could tell her. I just can’t keep grieving and dealing with all of this alone.

Someone told me that we learn something new from each child. Although tragic, we both understood exactly what we wanted from life—to marry each other and start a family. I feel that I need to tell her this as well, so she understands why I don’t want to get my BA.

Does anyone have tips on how to bring up my miscarriage to my mother? Thank you for any advice/help.

 

[Dlee]

I think the way you explained to us is beautiful - Tell your mom she’s your best friend and you need to share something of a mixed blessing. Tell her about your miscarriage, but that you have both learned from it and that you want marriage and a family. Tell her you need her support as you can’t grieve alone.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Maybe talk about it with your priest before you tell your extended family. Your mom likely suspects, because you went to the ER, and did not discuss details with you. If you are not sure your mom will be supportive, it may be best to find another person to be your support here.