How to Choose a Spiritual Director?

[Ray7088]

Hi all. I would like have a spiritual director, but how does one go about finding one? What qualities do you look for in a spiritual director?

God has blessed my parish with 4 priests. Our newest priest was just ordained a few months ago. I’d like for him to be my spiritual director since he is around my age and may understand the various difficulties in my spiritual life. I’ve also found that, for a young priest, he’s more orthodox than the older priests at the parish. What do y’all think?

 

[WanderAimlessly]

Ray:

There is different reasons for getting a Spiritual Director. For me, it is to help me discern my path in life.

In your post, you mention a newly ordained priest who is more orthodox that the “older” priests. While this is probably true, he also may not have the experience or knowledge yet to be an effective Spiritual Director.

A book that I would suggest to help you decide what type of person you want as a spiritual director is Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within by Thomas Dubay. It goes through the various criteria in choosing a spiritual director.

There are a number of threads on Spiritual Directors. Some of them are:
Where can I find a confessor/spiritual director?
How do I find a Spiritual Director and…
Spiritual Director
You can to a [Advance Search](Spiritual Director) on Spritual Director in the Title and all of the threads will come up.

I hope this helps.

PF

 

[Deacon_Tony560]

My spiritual director is a prison chaplain. Since i do prison ministry, this is a good help. If a person is contemplative, someone from the Carmelites might help. If a person leans toward Franciscan Spirituality, a Franciscan might help ETC.

 

[goravens]

I’ve had two spiritual directors. Both times I found myself drawn to a particular person based on the way they communicated in their homilies and how they interpreted Scripture. Also, one of the biggest things for me is how they minister in the sacrament of confession. In my experience, priests who can discuss your sins with you - address common themes - talk with you humbly - and give you a penance that seems based on what you confessed - will likely be a good spiritual director and one you’ll feel comfortable with. A priest who can understand human nature while challenging you to a higher standard will always be a good spiritual director.

My experience echoes yours as well - both my spiritual directors have been younger, more orthodox “JP2” priests. They’ve been awesome.

One last word - the times I’ve gotten the most out of spiritual direction is when I’ve completely humbled myself and been as honest as possible. Sometimes I’m a little afraid and embarrased I’ll be judged when I share some particular selfish inclination with my spiritual director. But it seems to me that when I can open up about that, God gives a great deal of grace just for me standing plainly in His sight not to mention the advice and direction given to me by the priest.