How to convert your spouse

[sarahcabanski]

My husband is not Catholic. He was never baptized and was raised in a Protestant home. He is indifferent when it comes to religion and does not pray or have any sort of spiritual life. My desire is for him to convert to the Catholic faith, and I know that this can be accomplished through much prayer. However, I heard somewhere that a good way to help someone convert is to be a good Catholic witness to them. I know this means that I have to stand firm in my faith and openly express how faith has enriched my life. But what are some other ways I could be a good Catholic witness?

 

[dhgray]

If I didn’t know better, I would have thought your posting was written by my wife. We (she) got involved with a ministry program. I recommend Couples For Christ (CFC). It Helped my wife and I and actually saved our marriage. Check them out at www.couplesforchrist.us and let me know if you want more information.

 

[ToddG]

Pray the rosary often- asking our Blessed Mother’s intercession. Don’t underestimate the power in this!!
Give it time, be patient.

God bless you!

 

[Toni]

My husband is also a convert, and at first I preached to him quite a bit. But then I learned that my actions were speaking much louder than my words.
To be the best example of Christ that a wife can be.
Whether it is going the extra mile, in cleaning, in doing things you especially hate but he loves.
The more that you strive to imitate Christ the happier you become, others see that happiness flowing from you, and then they all want what you have.
They start looking at you and thinking what is it that makes her so happy.
This is how we can be good apostles for Jesus and bring the light of Christ to every soul we meet.
I have met so many people and am a witness to this truth.
Or you can always think of Mary and how she loved Jesus and Joseph and watched over them like a mother, and a wife. Always going that extra mile.
Hope some of these ideas help. What ever you do don’t give up! Everything comes in God’s time!

 

[mass4life]

You are describing my exact situation to a ‘T’. I don’t have much advice, but I do pray the Rosary daily with the intention of my husband’s conversion for the sake of his soul and the faith of our children. I feel deep in my heart he will convert one day, however I don’t know when. I just keep praying it will be before my children are teens or grown.

Also, I don’t know if it would help to pray for him to be given a gift of FAITH, he doesn’t seem to have any interest in faith matters.

God Bless…

 

[SMHW]

My husband was also not Catholic when we were married, but he was at least a Christian.

In addition to living a model Catholic life and plenty of prayer make sure that he understands that you love and honor him regardless of whether he converts or not.

 

[kage_ar]

When we married, my husband was agnostic. He was baptized (to please me) after our marriage, and had a few times when he would have a “spiritual awakening” lasting a month or so, then, back to nothing. When I converted Easter 98, he attended Mass about once a year with us. Each Mass from 98 on, my intention was the conversion of my husband. This Easter,Vigil, my husband completed RCIA. Pray and love. Let the Holy Spirit do the conversion!

 

[La_Chiara]

I have no experience in this particular matter (because both my husband and I are cradle Catholics). But based on 20 years of marriage, my advice is make small requests that are not monumental and then show appreciation that he honored your request. For example, you might ask that he accompany you to Church on a regular basis or at least on specific occasions (Christmas and Easter, or once a month). Or request that he take the kids to CCD. But don’t be too demanding and make sure he knows that you appreciate his efforts and that your faith means a lot to you. You might also point out how much you enjoy seeing families or married couples attending Mass together. Maybe someday you could get him to a Marriage Encounter or similar retreat. But just remember, it is your desire that he convert. You loved him enough to marry him and should continue to love him whether or not he converts. Don’t feel you have failed if your efforts don’t pay off. It is not your choice, it is his choice and the Holy Spirit’s work.

 

[KCT]

mass4life:

I don’t have much advice, but I do pray the Rosary daily with the intention of my husband’s conversion for the sake of his soul and the faith of our children. God Bless…

Also ask the intercession of St. Monica. Her faithful prayers helped the conversion of her son (St. Augustine) and her husband. —KCT

 

[Lance]

My wife became very close friends with a priest and had him over for dinner a few times and he was such a nice guy it started me thinking about converting. I converted about 30 years ago. With how busy priest are now a days I don’t know if that is possible, but maybe you could make friends with some good Catholics who he would enjoy being around, invite them over, go over to their place or just go out on the town with them. Don’t give up on prayer.

 

[Sandman]

You should consider what aspects of Catholicism trouble him so you can demonstrate the truth of Catholicism through your actions.

I became Catholic two years ago. My wife and I have always struggled with religion because she was a cradle Catholic and I was raised Evangelical. There is a lot of miscommunication becasue of different meanings of words and phrases as well as a very different approach.

I had always struggled with the sexuality vs. spirituality part as an Evangelical. It seemed clear to me that Catholicism was even more rule bound it this area. Now I know better. (I emphasized sexuality while my wife emphasized spirituality).

Once I becan studying the truth behind Catholicism I wanted to learn more. I eventually discovered the Catholic perspective on sexuality. That was the key for me.

Catholics worship with their physical bodies. The physical is very much a part of the worship, salvation and communion with God. The sacraments are all physical signs of spiritual truths intended to bring us closer to God and receive grace.

I think I would have converted sooner if I has understood how the Catholics integrate spirituality and sexuality (the soul and the body). This is what the Theology of the Body is all about.

So my advice is to make sure you are using your physical body to demonstrate your faith. This means making a physical gift of yourself to your spouse (not just sexually, but that is a part of it). It means giving until it hurts. Not demanding or or just focusing on what he can do for you.

This is not easy. I am starting to live this and it is beginning to pay off in my marriage. It is a hard thing to learn and make a part of yourself but seems so obvious once you learn it. So I would suggest you get some tapes or read a book on the Theology of the Body or on what a Catholic marriage is all about.

Implement that in your marriage and he will take notice. This will give you the ability to keep it up because it brings meaning to you and is not about making him convert. Living your faith and increasing your understanding of the true beauty of Catholicism (along with prayer) will have the greatest impact.

Steve