How to cope with rejection?

[SD_Catholic]

How does everyone cope with being rejected when sharing the faith? Especially with family and good friends… It seems much easier to debate and share the faith with complete strangers, but it hurts deeply to be rejected by the ones you love. I think to myself that these people truly love God and would want to know the truth if they felt they were missing something, but after engaging in conversation you start to sense they would rather argue against the CC than truly seek the truth even when you give them info they can’t refute…

So do you keep debating even when it starts to affect your relationship to the point you feel they may never accept what you say, or do you just hope that you’ve planted that seed that may sprout sometime down the road. I sometimes worry that I’m starting to take away their claim to “ignorance” and making it a rejection of truth.

SD

 

[Heath_Bar]

Do not go far enough that it starts to affect your relationship. If you have tried to present the truth to them and they seem completely closed-minded, then the best you can do is pray for them that they may be swayed to the truth by the Holy Spirit. You’ve done your part, but no words you could ever speak, no argument so airtight that can change one mind or heart. It is the Holy Spirit that does that. Like you stated, best to hope that you have “planted a seed” that the Holy Spirit will help blossom.

 

[daeve]

You may have to accept that the most you can do now is pray for them. Trade places a minute, and consider how it would affect you they may be telling you things you don’t believe. They may be as firm in their own beliefs and you could be driving a wedge between you.

Let them see your joy in your faith and that may be a better example than anything you can say.

I have a similar situation with an in-law who used to think Catholics were scary. I don’t know what’s scary about us, especially me. She’s not inclined to convert but at least she’s gaining some respect for Catholicism.

 

[SD_Catholic]

You may have to accept that the most you can do now is pray for them. Trade places a minute, and consider how it would affect you they may be telling you things you don’t believe. They may be as firm in their own beliefs and you could be driving a wedge between you.

Let them see your joy in your faith and that may be a better example than anything you can say.

I have a similar situation with an in-law who used to think Catholics were scary. I don’t know what’s scary about us, especially me. She’s not inclined to convert but at least she’s gaining some respect for Catholicism.

I try to put myself in their shoes often… probably the only thing that keeps me from going crazy… The difference is that they can be shown facts from ECFs and Biblical history that confirm what I’m explaining to them… I would hope that if someone threw a glaring fact at me directly contradicting my statement that I would be humble enough to accept it and move on. It’s probably instances like these that upset me the most… it makes me wonder at what point will they refuse the truth even when they know it’s the truth just because of who it’s coming from… Has anyone had the pleasure of sharing the faith with some hardcore anti-Catholic and had them actually admit they were wrong? ( I don’t mean that you got pleasure out of them being wrong but that you had the pleasure of witnessing what you shared with them sink in).

SD

 

[SD_Catholic]

Do you guys ever just avoid discussing religion with people you love so as not to create tension?

SD

 

[Heath_Bar]

Do you guys ever just avoid discussing religion with people you love so as not to create tension?

SD

I do not necessarily avoid discussing religion, I just don’t push it. If the right situation arises, then I have no problem talking religion. The best thing, though, is to focus on the things you all can agree on, the common ground of your love for Jesus. There’s not much use in getting into a discussion of differences in doctrine unless they challenge you on it. If they don’t, then you can find enough common ground to agree on and not cause any bruised feelings. If both sides recognize that they are brothers and sisters in Christ first of all, then the Catholic and Protestant part takes a back seat. Peace to you!

 

[Christian7801]

How does everyone cope with being rejected when sharing the faith? Especially with family and good friends… It seems much easier to debate and share the faith with complete strangers, but it hurts deeply to be rejected by the ones you love. I think to myself that these people truly love God and would want to know the truth if they felt they were missing something, but after engaging in conversation you start to sense they would rather argue against the CC than truly seek the truth even when you give them info they can’t refute…

So do you keep debating even when it starts to affect your relationship to the point you feel they may never accept what you say, or do you just hope that you’ve planted that seed that may sprout sometime down the road. I sometimes worry that I’m starting to take away their claim to “ignorance” and making it a rejection of truth.

SD

I have some relatives in which I do not speak about heavenly things anymore; conversation become quite superficial with these particular relatives; now I just keep praying for them and try to live a life of holiness…only the Holy Spirit can change the heart.

 

[daeve]

Do you guys ever just avoid discussing religion with people you love so as not to create tension?

SD

Oh yes. I’m a scrapbooker, and I crop with a group that’s a conglomeration of 3 Lutherans, 1 Baptist, 1 Non-Denominational/formerly Methodist and one who changes churches with the wind, right now non-denom, but brought up Lutheran and me, the sole Catholic.

When we first started getting together, one all but attacked me saying “Catholics worship Mary, don’t tell me you don’t because I’ve seen you.” Not me personally, but she was unable to see the difference between worship and the honor that we show Mary. One of the Lutherans who is married to a minister was able to explain it much better than I did. She also made the excellent suggestion that none of us accuse another of anything in regards to our faiths, and that has worked pretty well for us.

Another of the Lutherans and I have had a lot of long satisfying talks about our faith and found that most of our beliefs mesh. We talked about the difference between prayer and worship and she was completely receptive. She was having trouble with her step-daughter, and I gave her a card I had with the prayers of the rosary, an explanation of the mysteries and a rosary too, and I gave her a funeral card with the Memorare on it. She’s becoming quite devoted to the BVM and found comfort in the rosary many times since. BTW, if I was going to put a picture of a Christian in the encyclopedia, it would be hers. She’s the most Christ-like person I’ve ever known.

 

[SD_Catholic]

Sometimes I think about Jesus in John 6… he doesnt chase after the ones who rejected his words and left him… he simply asked the rest if they wanted to leave too. So perhaps instead of chasing after them to make them understand we simply give them the facts and let the HS do what he does

SD

 

[newguy40]

As a fairly recent revert, I struggle with this myself. Especially with my wife of near 20 years. Of course, I want to share my experience, love of God, and happiness in returning to the Church. How could I not?

I too have to be sensitive and aware of how my words affect her. I watch carefully for those certain telling signs that she is closing down to the discussion.

The advice here is good. Pray for them but continue to make offers. For example, I continue to ask her to come to me to Mass with me. Easter Mass!

I am also mindful of the phrase, “Preach the Gospel and when necessary use words”. How we act out our faith in everyday life is more powerful than anything else I can think of…

 

[ChrissiM]

How does everyone cope with being rejected when sharing the faith? Especially with family and good friends… It seems much easier to debate and share the faith with complete strangers, but it hurts deeply to be rejected by the ones you love.

I know what you mean. I also had such expieriences with my parents. Actually they are tolerant and support me in my decision to become catholic. But then there were some situations where they noticed that Catholicism isn’t just a hobby for me, but the truth. And it looks to me like they have a problem with this fact. It doesn’t happen very often that we argue, but sometimes they have said things which really hurted me.

Chrissi

 

[SD_Catholic]

I know what you mean. I also had such expieriences with my parents. Actually they are tolerant and support me in my decision to become catholic. But then there were some situations where they noticed that Catholicism isn’t just a hobby for me, but the truth. And it looks to me like they have a problem with this fact. It doesn’t happen very often that we argue, but sometimes they have said things which really hurted me.

Chrissi

May God continue to bless you on your journey… welcome home:thumbsup:

SD

 

[Mrs_Mac]

I know what you mean. I also had such expieriences with my parents. Actually they are tolerant and support me in my decision to become catholic. But then there were some situations where they noticed that Catholicism isn’t just a hobby for me, but the truth. And it looks to me like they have a problem with this fact. It doesn’t happen very often that we argue, but sometimes they have said things which really hurted me.

Chrissi

ChrissiM, I know exactly what you mean, because I’ve been there. I was received into the Church two years ago and my mother still comes out with anti-Catholic “zingers” on a semi-regular basis. Your parents may be afraid that you have become a totally different person than the child they raised and love. It’s really important at this stage to let them know that you are still the same person, just that there is this new and wonderful aspect to your life.

Also, if you were raised in a religious tradition, it might help if you communicate to them that you respect the religious upbringing they gave you. My parents raised me Episcopalian, and I am very careful never to say anything disparaging about the religion they gave me. After all, it took some work for them to bring me to church on Sunday all those years. Without that foundation, I doubt I would have ended up where I am now.

And oh yeah…Welcome home!

 

[ChrissiM]

Also, if you were raised in a religious tradition, it might help if you communicate to them that you respect the religious upbringing they gave you

My parents are both atheists. Actually they haven’t anything against Catholicism itself. The problem is that as atheists they respect religion but they see all religions as equal. For them Catholicism is not better than Hinduism for example. For them religion is just a personal matter. If one feels good with Christianity, Islam, Buddhism or whatever, they respect it and think that this is okay. But they become confused when they notice that someone is convinced that his belief is the absolute and objective truth. And that’s the point where our quarrels always start.

But I have to say that I’m not in the worst situation. Actually most of the time my parents support me. I’m just talking about a few quite depressing disputes.

Chrissi

 

[NHInsider]

How does everyone cope with being rejected when sharing the faith? Especially with family and good friends… It seems much easier to debate and share the faith with complete strangers, but it hurts deeply to be rejected by the ones you love. I think to myself that these people truly love God and would want to know the truth if they felt they were missing something, but after engaging in conversation you start to sense they would rather argue against the CC than truly seek the truth even when you give them info they can’t refute…

So do you keep debating even when it starts to affect your relationship to the point you feel they may never accept what you say, or do you just hope that you’ve planted that seed that may sprout sometime down the road. I sometimes worry that I’m starting to take away their claim to “ignorance” and making it a rejection of truth.

SD

I love the first Epistle of Peter, especially the first few chapters. It is so filled with the wisdom of just living the faith, being a witness without words. (Even though I’ve always braided my hair )

Beloved, I urge you as aliens and sojourners to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against the soul.

Maintain good conduct among the Gentiles, so that if they speak of you as evildoers, they may observe your good works and glorify God on the day of visitation.

Be subject to every human institution for the Lord’s sake, whether it be to the king as supreme or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the approval of those who do good.

For it is the will of God that by doing good you may silence the ignorance of foolish people.

Be free, yet without using freedom as a pretext for evil, but as slaves of God. Give honor to all, love the community, fear God, honor the king.

Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse. For whenever anyone bears the pain of unjust suffering because of consciousness of God, that is a grace. But what credit is there if you are patient when beaten for doing wrong? But if you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good, this is a grace before God.

Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble. Do not return evil for evil, or insult for insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing. For: “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep the tongue from evil and the lips from speaking deceit, must turn from evil and do good, seek peace and follow after it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears turned to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against evildoers.”

Now who is going to harm you if you are enthusiastic for what is good? But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame. For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered for sins once, the righteous for the sake of the unrighteous, that he might lead you to God.

 

[Highwayhound]

Rejection?

First, it is good to recognize that the other person is merely one of God’s creatures. If another is approached with this mindset then it is impossible for them to dent you mindset.

Second, what is your motive for sharing the faith? If the motive is not because you love God then it is easy for you to feel the sting of rejection. If your motivating force is your love of God then all is copasetic.

God bless

 

[SD_Catholic]

Rejection?

First, it is good to recognize that the other person is merely one of God’s creatures. If another is approached with this mindset then it is impossible for them to dent you mindset.

Second, what is your motive for sharing the faith? If the motive is not because you love God then it is easy for you to feel the sting of rejection. If your motivating force is your love of God then all is copasetic.

God bless

My rejection feeling is the rejection I feel by that person’s actions… My motivation is love of God and love of the person that’s rejecting what I’m sharing with them… My love for God and wanting them to understand it to the fullest is what causes the sting.

SD

 

[katrntogo]

My rejection feeling is the rejection I feel by that person’s actions… My motivation is love of God and love of the person that’s rejecting what I’m sharing with them… My love for God and wanting them to understand it to the fullest is what causes the sting.

SD

Please don’t give up. When I converted, no one from my family would come to my baptizm, confirmation & receiving of the Eucharist for the first time. Let’s just say I was pretty hurt (I probably wouldn’t have felt quite so alone but they had attended my sister-in-law’s returning to being a Mennonite ceremony - she is wonderful, don’t get me wrong on that) & I ended up losing my Church of Christ husband (there were many other issues though so it would have ended anyway) as his belief was I was going to hell if I converted & there was no way that he would remain married to a Catholic (even though he did not go to church any more).

Well, I would stop in to see my parents often on my way home from Mass & they would see my joy in spite of my personal life falling apart. Eventually, my Mom started asking questions about my Catholic faith & I was able to clear up some of the misconceptions about Catholicism. I gave her some books (Rome Sweet Rome was one of them) & just in the last few weeks she asked for a Catholic Bible (my priest gave her one & she loves it) & she is thinking of converting. You can’t force them, much like an alcoholic has to chose to stop on their own, but you can be an example. Just keep working on your own relationship with God & all else seems to fall into place. Have faith!

 

[SD_Catholic]

Please don’t give up. When I converted, no one from my family would come to my baptizm, confirmation & receiving of the Eucharist for the first time. Let’s just say I was pretty hurt (I probably wouldn’t have felt quite so alone but they had attended my sister-in-law’s returning to being a Mennonite ceremony - she is wonderful, don’t get me wrong on that) & I ended up losing my Church of Christ husband (there were many other issues though so it would have ended anyway) as his belief was I was going to hell if I converted & there was no way that he would remain married to a Catholic (even though he did not go to church any more).

Well, I would stop in to see my parents often on my way home from Mass & they would see my joy in spite of my personal life falling apart. Eventually, my Mom started asking questions about my Catholic faith & I was able to clear up some of the misconceptions about Catholicism. I gave her some books (Rome Sweet Rome was one of them) & just in the last few weeks she asked for a Catholic Bible (my priest gave her one & she loves it) & she is thinking of converting. You can’t force them, much like an alcoholic has to chose to stop on their own, but you can be an example. Just keep working on your own relationship with God & all else seems to fall into place. Have faith!

Wow! that’s faith… I’m sorry you had to go through so much in your journey

SD