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Last week I posted that I was tutoring a 12 year old boy and he was disrespectful and the nanny scolded him. He then got a hold of his brothers playbook and emailed his mom asking her to fire us. So that is the history.
Well… my problem is now more with the nanny. Let me explain. The boy’s behaviour has been good. He has been respectful and I see him make efforts to be polite. I though the whole thing had blown over and we could just carry on as normal. Yesterday, I went to tutor. When I got there the nanny was pulling her hair out. The mom works afternoons and sometimes goes out in the morning to shop, get her nails done or go to a restaurant. As it turns out, the mom was suppose to go to work early and work called the nanny to say she was not answering her cell phone and ask where she was. So the nanny got in her car and went downtown to look for the mom’s car. She couldn’t find it and was upset. She started to complain to me.
Now, if someone is having a bad day and needs to talk, I have two listening ears. But when someone starts to disrespects someone’s character and make statements that are more of a gossipy nature and insults to person’s character (as opposed to behaviour), I don’t care to hear it. Of course I felt the nanny’s behaviour was wrong. So I said politely ‘Is it part of your job to go look for her?’ To which she said ‘no’. I then said ‘well, if you called her cell and she is not picking up, you really don’t have anything to worry about, you did what you could’
Well… the nanny went on and on about how this was so important so she felt she should and continued to insult the mom’s character. What I hate about myself is the nanny has this way of getting me to jump on the band wagon and say some uncharitable things myself. And the worst thing is, when we talk about anything other than the family we actually have a lot in common and I enjoy her company.
Then the nanny said ‘I am leaving to run errands when she comes back please tell her work called to say she is late’. I said ok thinking in the back of my mind it was not my job. Well, the mom came home, I told her and she got ready and went to work. Before leaving, she showed me the blazer she had bought.
When the nanny came back, I told her that I told the mom work had called and she went to work. The first thing out of the nanny’s mouth ‘Did she buy something to wear?’
It came across as the nanny being too nosy. It is almost as if she wanted to find an area where the mom failed so she could criticize her further.
Well… today was the last straw. When I got there, the mom was on her way out. She asked me if her son had shown me the apology letter he had written me about his behaviour last week. I said no, so she gave me the letter. She was not out the door 2 seconds when the nanny whispered to me ‘That is hog wash we will talk about this later’. When she saw my jaw drop, she said that the boy had never written the letter the father had. She then said she had to run more errands. I just thank God, I finished tutoring and was able to leave before she got home.
IMO if the mom wants to lie to me and say her kid wrote the letter, that is 100% the moms business. The mere fact she did that probably humilitated the boy and IMO is punishment enough. My job is to tutor the kids not tell the parents how to raise them. At first I had sympathy for the nanny because I can’t help but think that because of her role, she does perhaps have more of the upbringing responsibilities. However, I am now starting to think she is on a power trip trying to tell people how to raise their kids and then plays the matyr when she gets no where.
The truth is, part of me just wants to let this go, but I do need to vent. I have not worked a real job in months and that is stressfull. I am going through enough garbage with HR people I don’t want to have any more. This family has provided me with the opportunity to earn a bit of pocket money while I look for work and I am gratefull for it. They are also a very devout Catholic family with 9 kids. Being single, it is fun to get to spend time in that atmosphere. Sometimes I see the older kids when they are back from school and they show me the popular dance moves. The kids (even the 12 year old boy who was disrespectful) are ALWAYS offering to make me tea or let me know ‘we have sandwhich is the fridge if you want one’. I don’t appreciate how I feel like the nanny is putting a wedge between us
I just needed to rant
Well… my problem is now more with the nanny. Let me explain. The boy’s behaviour has been good. He has been respectful and I see him make efforts to be polite. I though the whole thing had blown over and we could just carry on as normal. Yesterday, I went to tutor. When I got there the nanny was pulling her hair out. The mom works afternoons and sometimes goes out in the morning to shop, get her nails done or go to a restaurant. As it turns out, the mom was suppose to go to work early and work called the nanny to say she was not answering her cell phone and ask where she was. So the nanny got in her car and went downtown to look for the mom’s car. She couldn’t find it and was upset. She started to complain to me.
Now, if someone is having a bad day and needs to talk, I have two listening ears. But when someone starts to disrespects someone’s character and make statements that are more of a gossipy nature and insults to person’s character (as opposed to behaviour), I don’t care to hear it. Of course I felt the nanny’s behaviour was wrong. So I said politely ‘Is it part of your job to go look for her?’ To which she said ‘no’. I then said ‘well, if you called her cell and she is not picking up, you really don’t have anything to worry about, you did what you could’
Well… the nanny went on and on about how this was so important so she felt she should and continued to insult the mom’s character. What I hate about myself is the nanny has this way of getting me to jump on the band wagon and say some uncharitable things myself. And the worst thing is, when we talk about anything other than the family we actually have a lot in common and I enjoy her company.
Then the nanny said ‘I am leaving to run errands when she comes back please tell her work called to say she is late’. I said ok thinking in the back of my mind it was not my job. Well, the mom came home, I told her and she got ready and went to work. Before leaving, she showed me the blazer she had bought.
When the nanny came back, I told her that I told the mom work had called and she went to work. The first thing out of the nanny’s mouth ‘Did she buy something to wear?’
It came across as the nanny being too nosy. It is almost as if she wanted to find an area where the mom failed so she could criticize her further.
Well… today was the last straw. When I got there, the mom was on her way out. She asked me if her son had shown me the apology letter he had written me about his behaviour last week. I said no, so she gave me the letter. She was not out the door 2 seconds when the nanny whispered to me ‘That is hog wash we will talk about this later’. When she saw my jaw drop, she said that the boy had never written the letter the father had. She then said she had to run more errands. I just thank God, I finished tutoring and was able to leave before she got home.
IMO if the mom wants to lie to me and say her kid wrote the letter, that is 100% the moms business. The mere fact she did that probably humilitated the boy and IMO is punishment enough. My job is to tutor the kids not tell the parents how to raise them. At first I had sympathy for the nanny because I can’t help but think that because of her role, she does perhaps have more of the upbringing responsibilities. However, I am now starting to think she is on a power trip trying to tell people how to raise their kids and then plays the matyr when she gets no where.
The truth is, part of me just wants to let this go, but I do need to vent. I have not worked a real job in months and that is stressfull. I am going through enough garbage with HR people I don’t want to have any more. This family has provided me with the opportunity to earn a bit of pocket money while I look for work and I am gratefull for it. They are also a very devout Catholic family with 9 kids. Being single, it is fun to get to spend time in that atmosphere. Sometimes I see the older kids when they are back from school and they show me the popular dance moves. The kids (even the 12 year old boy who was disrespectful) are ALWAYS offering to make me tea or let me know ‘we have sandwhich is the fridge if you want one’. I don’t appreciate how I feel like the nanny is putting a wedge between us
I just needed to rant