How to deal with having mostly non-catholic friends?

[nat_c1990]

I apologize that this is a bit long but please read. About a month or so ago, my husband and I stopped attending the church that we were going to (it was a non denominational church) and started going to a Catholic church. We live in an area where there are more Protestants than Catholics. In fact, I don’t think I had ever personally known anyone who was Catholic. Where I from, if you ask someone their opinion on Catholicism, the majority will tell you that its like a cult, that Catholics worship Mary and statues and nonsense like that. Unfortunately, we believed that and never really started doing our own research on it until recently.

My husband had some personal issues going on and decided to start seeing a psychologist a couple years ago. His psychologist is Catholic, so the subject of Catholicism would sometimes come up at their appointments. The more that his psychologist talked about it, the more interested in it that my husband became. He began asking questions about it, and his psychologist told him that if he was interested in learning about it, that it was something that he would need to research on his own. So, thats exactly what my husband did. He bought several books on Catholicism and for a while there, it seemed like all he ever talked about what Catholicism.

At first, I wasn’t really interested. I thought to myself “great, this guy has brainwashed my husband into becoming a Catholic.” But it wasn’t like that at all. I mean sure, his doctor had some influence over him because my husband views him as a very intelligent man and he highly values his opinion. But, when he would ask his doctor questions about Catholicism, his doctor didn’t try to convince him that Catholicism is right. He told him to learn about it on his own.

After hearing my husband talk about Catholicism nonstop for months and months on end, I decided to look into it myself. To my surprise, just about everything I’d been taught about it was a lie. When I started reading more about it, I started realizing that I actually agreed more with the Catholic teaching than what Protestants teach.

So my husband and I left our previous church and started attending the Catholic church. When my husband told the news to one of his friends from church that we were going to be leaving, his friend asked if there was a particular church that we were going to be attending. My husband told him that we were going to be going to a Catholic church and his friend responded how I expected that he would. He said something like “Well I don’t know much about Catholics but I haven’t heard good stuff about them”.

I still keep in contact with some of our old church friends through facebook. Since we haven’t been attending the Catholic church for very long, we don’t have any Catholic friends on facebook. Pretty much all of our friends are Protestant. However, despite the risk of receiving backlash from some of my Protestant friends, today I decided to share a couple of posts on facebook.

One of them said “We never give more honor to Jesus than when we honor his mother, and we honor her simply and solely to honor him all the more perfectly. We go to her only as a way leading to the soul we seek- Jesus, her son- St Louis Marie de Montfort”. The other post was a quote from Mother Teresa which said “If you ever feel distressed during the day, Call upon our Lady. Just say this simple prayer: ‘Mary mother of Jesus, Please be a mother to be now.’ This Prayer has never failed me.”

A lady from our old church replied to the post saying “She was an amazing young person willing to be used by God, but she was human. Not sinless. Only her son was. And we are to pray to the Father, through the son by the power of the Holy spirit. Mary is not in there any more than any other creation is”.

Firstly, I agree that she was human, I do not agree that she wasn’t sinless. The angel Gabriel says to Mary “Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee”. I agree with the Catholic teaching on this. How could someone who is full of grace be sinful? It’s also hard for me to believe that Jesus, the sinless, purest Son of God, could be conceived and carried in the womb of a woman who was a sinner. I didn’t want to get into an argument with my friend about this because I knew it was pointless. So I basically just told her that we would have to agree to disagree and that I used to have the same views as her until I started doing my own research. I also explained to her that I do not pray TO Mary, but I ask Mary to pray with me and for me. I guarantee my friend has asked a family member, friend or pastor to pray for her before and yet she sees no problem with that so I don’t see why its a problem to ask our Blessed Mother to pray for us.

I told my husband about all of this and his response was something like “Well, you really have to be careful with what you post on facebook because you know that we don’t have any Catholic friends on there. You don’t want to be too in their face about it or you might turn them away from the idea of Catholicism”. I told him that thats what facebook is for. People share quotes, pictures, and things that they like. I wasn’t doing anything different than what anyone else does. I guess I’m just passionate about it and I don’t want to hide it solely out of fear of being criticized by my Protestant friends. I’m hoping that we will eventually start making new friends at the Catholic church so that we will have a better support group. In the meantime, how should I respond when a Protestant friend opposes my views? Should I just take my husband’s advice and try not to talk too much about my beliefs around them?

 

[adamhovey1988]

I am from South Carolina. I chose to be Catholic. There certainly are people that will call Catholicism a cult here, but my closest female friends are ACNA and Independent Baptist. Both of which consider me their fellow Christian. Very few of my friends are actually Catholic (though I very much love the ones that are, same with my Protestant friends though). I find the most anti-Catholic people are the “former” Catholics. I.E., People that should really know better. When someone makes an accusation against the Catholic Church or her teaching, I find it always best to ask them to back up their claim.

 

[FabiusMaximus]

I am from South Carolina. I chose to be Catholic. There certainly are people that will call Catholicism a cult here, but my closest female friends are ACNA and Independent Baptist. Both of which consider me their fellow Christian. Very few of my friends are actually Catholic (though I very much love the ones that are, same with my Protestant friends though). I find the most anti-Catholic people are the “former” Catholics. I.E., People that should really know better. When someone makes an accusation against the Catholic Church or her teaching, I find it always best to ask them to back up their claim.

I would agree with this. The majority of people that end up being very anti-Catholic are people who have had past experience in Catholicism and converted to some other religion. That’s how people get zealous.

All you can do is just simply correct people with misconceptions, as generously and kindly as you can. Ultimately, that is the only way you can have people change their perception about Catholicism, because they’re going to have to want to learn more.

 

[nat_c1990]

I am from South Carolina. I chose to be Catholic. There certainly are people that will call Catholicism a cult here, but my closest female friends are ACNA and Independent Baptist. Both of which consider me their fellow Christian. Very few of my friends are actually Catholic (though I very much love the ones that are, same with my Protestant friends though). I find the most anti-Catholic people are the “former” Catholics. I.E., People that should really know better. When someone makes an accusation against the Catholic Church or her teaching, I find it always best to ask them to back up their claim.

I’m from North Carolina so I can relate. I think that we should consider everyone to be fellow Christians regardless of whether they are Protestant, Catholic, even (gasp) Muslims! It seems to be a common view among Protestants that Muslims do not worship the same God as we do but this is yet another Protestant view that I don’t agree with, They do claim to worship the God of Abraham, the same God that we worship. There is no denying that they have drastically different views on God than us, but that still doesn’t change the fact that we have that core belief in common. Even though I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism, I still don’t consider my Protestant friends to be any less Christian than me or that they are “wrong”. I just believe that they don’t have the full understanding of the truth. I believe that the Catholic church knows the full understanding of the truth.

When I made that facebook post I wasn’t trying to bash anyone for NOT being catholic or NOT asking Mary to pray for them. I was just letting it be known that I do sometimes ask Mary to pray for me and that I think its a good thing. But clearly, my friend is misinformed on what this is means which is why I told her that she would need to do her own research on it just as I did. If she thinks its wrong to ask Mother Mary to pray for us then she doesn’t need to ask anyone to pray for her ever, whether its someone in Heaven or someone on earth. But I don’t think thats the issue, I think she just misunderstands the Catholic faith, just as many Protestants do, and thinks that we pray “to” Mary in the sense that we are worshiping, which isn’t the case at all.

 

[angell1]

I’m from North Carolina so I can relate. I think that we should consider everyone to be fellow Christians regardless of whether they are Protestant, Catholic, even (gasp) Muslims! It seems to be a common view among Protestants that Muslims do not worship the same God as we do but this is yet another Protestant view that I don’t agree with, They do claim to worship the God of Abraham, the same God that we worship. There is no denying that they have drastically different views on God than us, but that still doesn’t change the fact that we have that core belief in common. Even though I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism, I still don’t consider my Protestant friends to be any less Christian than me or that they are “wrong”. I just believe that they don’t have the full understanding of the truth. I believe that the Catholic church knows the full understanding of the truth.

When I made that facebook post I wasn’t trying to bash anyone for NOT being catholic or NOT asking Mary to pray for them. I was just letting it be known that I do sometimes ask Mary to pray for me and that I think its a good thing. But clearly, my friend is misinformed on what this is means which is why I told her that she would need to do her own research on it just as I did. If she thinks its wrong to ask Mother Mary to pray for us then she doesn’t need to ask anyone to pray for her ever, whether its someone in Heaven or someone on earth. But I don’t think thats the issue, I think she just misunderstands thesometimes people do get upset, so you need to be prepared for that.

Catholic faith, just as many Protestants do, and thinks that we pray “to” Mary in the sense that we are worshiping, which isn’t the case at all.

hi nat, no, you do not need to avoid posting on facebook out of fear of what others will say.

in fact, it may be a means of influencing others. I have had several people ask me more questions about cahtolicism as a result of my posts

but sometimes people do get upset so you also need to e prepared for that

 

[Abu]

nat_c1990 #4
It seems to be a common view among Protestants that Muslims do not worship the same God as we do but this is yet another Protestant view that I don’t agree with, They do claim to worship the God of Abraham, the same God that we worship. There is no denying that they have drastically different views on God than us, but that still doesn’t change the fact that we have that core belief in common.

The idea of worshipping the same God is a real problem, as they deny the Blessed Trinity and deny the Catholic Church which Christ, the Son of God, established with all of the sacraments, dogma and doctrine for the journey to eternity.

Even though I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism, I still don’t consider my Protestant friends to be any less Christian than me or that they are “wrong”. I just believe that they don’t have the full understanding of the truth. I believe that the Catholic church knows the full understanding of the truth.

That Protestants and all others have much that is wrong, is the first step in following Christ’s mandate:
"All power in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And, behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Mt 28: 18-20).

That simply means forming ourselves in His truths and offering them as and when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[GNM1999]

I’m from North Carolina so I can relate. I think that we should consider everyone to be fellow Christians regardless of whether they are Protestant, Catholic, even (gasp) Muslims! It seems to be a common view among Protestants that Muslims do not worship the same God as we do but this is yet another Protestant view that I don’t agree with, They do claim to worship the God of Abraham, the same God that we worship. There is no denying that they have drastically different views on God than us, but that still doesn’t change the fact that we have that core belief in common. Even though I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism, I still don’t consider my Protestant friends to be any less Christian than me or that they are “wrong”. I just believe that they don’t have the full understanding of the truth. I believe that the Catholic church knows the full understanding of the truth.

I’m from NC as well, a few people I know have some degree of anti-Catholic sentiment, a few others I would bet are vehemently anti-Catholic, my parents despisr the idea of my conversion. Growing up Baptist and coming Home to His Church was the Best decision I’ve ever made. I now have my first real Bible (73 books and all!) And my first rosary and I am learning how to pray it.

God Bless you!

 

[Lenten_ashes]

I’d say find a large parish and go through their RCIA.

You are guaranteed to make plenty of Catholic friends.

I know your dilemma as protestants are so confident in their own ability to interpret the scriptures that they become downright cruel and rude in proselytization efforts.

 

[Lenten_ashes]

I’m from NC as well, a few people I know have some degree of anti-Catholic sentiment, a few others I would bet are vehemently anti-Catholic, my parents despisr the idea of my conversion. Growing up Baptist and coming Home to His Church was the Best decision I’ve ever made. I now have my first real Bible (73 books and all!) And my first rosary and I am learning how to pray it.

God Bless you!

You are a inspiration.

 

[nat_c1990]

I’d say find a large parish and go through their RCIA.

You are guaranteed to make plenty of Catholic friends.

I know your dilemma as protestants are so confident in their own ability to interpret the scriptures that they become downright cruel and rude in proselytization efforts.

yea we have been going to a fairly large Catholic church and the deacon told us last Sunday that they were going to probably be starting the RCIA classes sometime this Summer instead of waiting until September like they normally do. So we are planning on doing that and hopefully we will make some friends. I’m really looking forward to it.

I was just telling my husband tonight that ever since we’ve started going to the Catholic church that I actually look forward for Sunday morning to come so I can go to church. I have never really felt like that before. I feel like I have finally found the truth. Its a little bit upsetting that all my life. I’ve been told misconceptions and lies about Catholicism and I believed them without trying to figure it out for myself. I think maybe the reason why some people are so Anti-Catholic is because they don’t understand Catholicism, and people tend to fear what they don’t understand.

I also really like that our Mother Mary is treated with such honor and respect, as she should be. Most protestants that I know will try to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong for honoring her or asking her to pray for you. They look at it like you’re worshiping her instead of worshiping Jesus. But Protestants ask others to pray for them too. The only difference is that instead of asking Mary to pray for them, a Protestant will ask a pastor or family member to pray for them. Mary chose to do the will of God, by her own free will. If she had been resistant to God, it would have changed things entirely. So I don’t really understand why Protestants try to downplay her and what she did.

But, I’m starting to learn that people are more influenced by your actions than your words. So, its important for me to remember that if I want to lead people to the Catholic faith, I need to lead by example. And even though I believe that I have found the truth and that the Catholic church is the one true church, I should try to still be humble and to not come across as being prideful or more righteous than anyone else.

 

[nat_c1990]

I’m from NC as well, a few people I know have some degree of anti-Catholic sentiment, a few others I would bet are vehemently anti-Catholic, my parents despisr the idea of my conversion. Growing up Baptist and coming Home to His Church was the Best decision I’ve ever made. I now have my first real Bible (73 books and all!) And my first rosary and I am learning how to pray it.

God Bless you!

You sound a lot like me. My family is protestant and I’m not really sure how they feel about me converting. They haven’t said they are against it so I’m assuming they don’t have a problem with it. But even if they did, I wouldnt let that stop me. God bless you and good luck on your journey to growing closer to Christ.

 

[nat_c1990]

The idea of worshipping the same God is a real problem, as they deny the Blessed Trinity and deny the Catholic Church which Christ, the Son of God, established with all of the sacraments, dogma and doctrine for the journey to eternity.

That Protestants and all others have much that is wrong, is the first step in following Christ’s mandate:
"All power in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And, behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Mt 28: 18-20).

That simply means forming ourselves in His truths and offering them as and when the opportunity presents itself.

While muslims do deny the trinity, they do acknowledge that there is only one eternal God and that He is all knowing and all powerful. So in a sense, they do worship the same God as we do, in my opinion.

When I say that I don’t think protestants are totally wrong, I mean that they have very similar beliefs to Catholics. They believe Jesus was the son of God, born to the virgin Mary and that he died for our sins. They just don’t honor Mary like Catholics do, or go to confession, or believe in the real presence of Jesus during the Holy Eucharist. So, their core belief is the same as Catholics, they just don’t have the full understanding that Catholics do. Earlier, I said that Catholics have the full understanding but I actually would like to take that back. I think that Catholics are the closest to having the full understanding of the truth, more so than Protestants or any other religion/denominations. I think it would be a bit arrogant to say that Catholics have the full understanding of God because quite frankly we are all human and I don’t think any human has the capacity to FULLY understand God.

 

[Lenten_ashes]

yea we have been going to a fairly large Catholic church and the deacon told us last Sunday that they were going to probably be starting the RCIA classes sometime this Summer instead of waiting until September like they normally do. So we are planning on doing that and hopefully we will make some friends. I’m really looking forward to it.

That is awesome! I am very happy for you and your hubby!!! When you go through it you will be even more convinced that protestant misconceptions are WRONG about the Church as the focus is totally on our Lord Jesus Christ.

I was just telling my husband tonight that ever since we’ve started going to the Catholic church that I actually look forward for Sunday morning to come so I can go to church

and as a former protestant myself, I feel the exact same way. And I think the reason being is the Mass is always focused on Christ in the Eucharist. Not to demean protestant services, but they were always hit or miss to me. If the sermon wasn’t great that day I would leave feeling disappointed. And well, I don’t think Church service is supposed to be focused on a long sermon from the Pastor because he can take that any direction he wants to.I have sat through a 40 minute sermon where all they really did was ask for our money. How in the world can something like that be edifying?

I have never really felt like that before. I feel like I have finally found the truth. Its a little bit upsetting that all my life. I’ve been told misconceptions and lies about Catholicism and I believed them without trying to figure it out for myself. I think maybe the reason why some people are so Anti-Catholic is because they don’t understand Catholicism, and people tend to fear what they don’t understand.

You are SOOOOO correct about this. Wish I could shout it from the roof tops. I took my time converting because there were so many objections about the Church that I needed to find explanations for.

I also really like that our Mother Mary is treated with such honor and respect, as she should be. Most protestants that I know will try to make you feel like you’re doing something wrong for honoring her or asking her to pray for you. They look at it like you’re worshiping her instead of worshiping Jesus. But Protestants ask others to pray for them too. The only difference is that instead of asking Mary to pray for them, a Protestant will ask a pastor or family member to pray for them. Mary chose to do the will of God, by her own free will. If she had been resistant to God, it would have changed things entirely. So I don’t really understand why Protestants try to downplay her and what she did.

Absolutely, she was my biggest and final obstacle to conversion. Now that I see her as who she actually is, the Mother of the Church and ARK of the New covenant, I ask for her prayers often. And you know, somehow, I actually feel in my spirit that she does love me, does see me as a son and does enjoy praying for me. And as someone who had a very rugged child hood, man does it feel good to have a motherly figure in my life. Many protestants see her as some sort of incubator for Jesus, while Catholics continue to call her blessed; generation after generation we fulfill that prophesy in Luke 1:48.

But, I’m starting to learn that people are more influenced by your actions than your words. So, its important for me to remember that if I want to lead people to the Catholic faith, I need to lead by example. And even though I believe that I have found the truth and that the Catholic church is the one true church, I should try to still be humble and to not come across as being prideful or more righteous than anyone else.

You are making so much sense! You are going to make a wonderful Catholic. I love this quote from ST. Francis of Assisi : " preach the gospel and if necessary use words"

And people don’t care what you know, until they know that you care. When people see the light of Christ shining through us, they are going to want what we have.

God bless you and your husband on your journey.

 

[Lenten_ashes]

The idea of worshipping the same God is a real problem, as they deny the Blessed Trinity and deny the Catholic Church which Christ, the Son of God, established with all of the sacraments, dogma and doctrine for the journey to eternity.

That Protestants and all others have much that is wrong, is the first step in following Christ’s mandate:
"All power in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And, behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” (Mt 28: 18-20).

That simply means forming ourselves in His truths and offering them as and when the opportunity presents itself.

That’s one area in the Catechism I do not like.

841 The Church’s relationship with the Muslims. "The plan of salvation also includes those who acknowledge the Creator, in the first place amongst whom are the Muslims; these profess to hold the faith of Abraham, and together with us they adore the one, merciful God, mankind’s judge on the last day.

I acknowledge that they are monotheistic and are attempting to worship the one true God, however, how can they when they have failed to identify Him?

 

[Lenten_ashes]

I would agree with this. The majority of people that end up being very anti-Catholic are people who have had past experience in Catholicism and converted to some other religion. That’s how people get zealous.

All you can do is just simply correct people with misconceptions, as generously and kindly as you can. Ultimately, that is the only way you can have people change their perception about Catholicism, because they’re going to have to want to learn more.

Depends on which denomination they belong to.

Go have coffee with a bunch of Baptists after their Sunday service and mention the Blessed Mother…they may just wack you over the head with their bibles like aunt Esther from Sanford and Son lol

Lutherans, Anglicans and some Methodists are much more reasonable, imo.

 

[worldcitizen]

I’m from North Carolina so I can relate. I think that we should consider everyone to be fellow Christians regardless of whether they are Protestant, Catholic, even (gasp) Muslims! It seems to be a common view among Protestants that Muslims do not worship the same God as we do but this is yet another Protestant view that I don’t agree with, They do claim to worship the God of Abraham, the same God that we worship. There is no denying that they have drastically different views on God than us, but that still doesn’t change the fact that we have that core belief in common. Even though I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism, I still don’t consider my Protestant friends to be any less Christian than me or that they are “wrong”. I just believe that they don’t have the full understanding of the truth. I believe that the Catholic church knows the full understanding of the truth.

When I made that facebook post I wasn’t trying to bash anyone for NOT being catholic or NOT asking Mary to pray for them. I was just letting it be known that I do sometimes ask Mary to pray for me and that I think its a good thing. But clearly, my friend is misinformed on what this is means which is why I told her that she would need to do her own research on it just as I did. If she thinks its wrong to ask Mother Mary to pray for us then she doesn’t need to ask anyone to pray for her ever, whether its someone in Heaven or someone on earth. But I don’t think thats the issue, I think she just misunderstands the Catholic faith, just as many Protestants do, and thinks that we pray “to” Mary in the sense that we are worshiping, which isn’t the case at all.

I like your spirit of welcoming all with the light of oneness because that’s how God behaves. God shines the sun upon both th good and the wicked. Jew and gentile and no matter what Faith or no Faith a person has, God provides for all humanity in that he gives sun nd rain and crops and doesn’t ask us our religion but gives and loves all humanity UNCONDITIONALLY. Seeing your post I have great hope that one day we will all put aside our partisan attitudes and be welcoming to all no matter which belief.

I look forward to the day we all pray in each other’s churches as God is everywhere. I have prayed in Mosques and Buddhist & Hindu Temples and Synagogues and Catholic Churches and they all worship God. When we become inclusive instead of partisan a new life will stir in the world. A new hope for peace. We are all created by the one God no matter what we believe or don’t believe. We are all one human family. One human race with one Father, God Who loves and cares about all of us no matter our belief.

I like your spirit and attitude and hope it spreads all over the world so that all men may be as brothers. God Bless.

 

[exnihilo]

I’m another Tar Heel and a convert. I can relate to much of your story. I actually knew a few Catholics growing up and was friends with many as an adult. The friends were for the most part not practicing the Faith. So as I was drawn to Catholicism I didn’t have many friends who shared this. What really helped my wife and I to meet people was to start attending daily Mass. Our parish is pretty large with many Masses on Sunday. It is hard to meet people then. But at daily Mass you see the same smaller number of folks and it is easier to get to know them.

As for Facebook I agree with your husband on this. I would be careful. That doesn’t mean hiding your faith but being prudent about what you chose to share. Obviously the Blessed Virgin Mary is a divisive issue. There may be other ways to share without touching on something that frightens Protestants.

In my family I was first drawn to Catholicism. When I shared what I learned my wife wasn’t interested at all. I set about to slowly introduce the Faith to her. I would raise a single issue and support it with evidence and argument. I tried not to press any issue too hard and would present things mostly as a question. For instance, Holy Scripture records Mary as saying ‘all generations shall call me blessed’. I would then ask which church follows that Scripture? I think that slow and gentle approach is probably best for most people. Man doesn’t like change too much and we really don’t like having our most basic beliefs called into question.

The best thing you can do is really learn the Faith. That way you can defend it whenever you need to. And if you really want to defend it well learn some apologetics. It is one thing to know the Faith it is another to know techniques and specific answers to specific questions.