How to deal with pride, when you're sure you're right!

[jules11]

I find it very hard to back down when I know (or think) I’m right. I know I suffer from too much pride but do not know how to change it. It is such a part of my personality that I do not know how to function any other way. I’m a very assertive person.
My husband has been a catholic 3 years and I’ve been one all my life. We have many disagreements on religious issues, ones that catholics are obliged to believe, that he doesn’t agree with. I admit, I get frustrated and sometimes a little angry defending the church, when this is stuff he’s supposed to believe.
I know that I should be more patient, but I’m not. I do not know how to back down or let things go.
Another example was that my brother did something highly inappropriate and very wrong, that involved my children recently (nothing sexual) and I rang to ask him to never do it again. He got instantly defensive and angry. It ended up with him yelling at me and with me hanging up on him. And him telling me he wanted nothing more to do with me or my family. I had every right to ask him to not do this… I was in the right and I knew it but he would not accept it nor will he probably ever apologise. He will defend his position, no matter how wrong he is.
The christian response, I know is, no matter who is wrong or right, to be able to humble oneself to make the peace.
But I just do not know how to back down… sometimes I do, when its not such a burning issue, but not when it’s something I’m passionate about.
I often wish I were a gentler and more humble person.
How do others graciously back down? even when you think you’re right? What if it was a very important issue, would you still apologise?
An apology to my DH and my brother means total admission of being in the wrong, which I find so hard to do when I know that I’m not. But I CAN admit I’m wrong, WHEN I’m wrong… but my pride is such a problem for me.
Anyone else suffer from this? Anyone dealt with this successfully?

 

[MyPhilomena]

I find it very hard to back down when I know (or think) I’m right. I know I suffer from too much pride but do not know how to change it. It is such a part of my personality that I do not know how to function any other way. I’m a very assertive person.
My husband has been a catholic 3 years and I’ve been one all my life. We have many disagreements on religious issues, ones that catholics are obliged to believe, that he doesn’t agree with. I admit, I get frustrated and sometimes a little angry defending the church, when this is stuff he’s supposed to believe.
I know that I should be more patient, but I’m not. I do not know how to back down or let things go.
Another example was that my brother did something highly inappropriate and very wrong, that involved my children recently (nothing sexual) and I rang to ask him to never do it again. He got instantly defensive and angry. It ended up with him yelling at me and with me hanging up on him. And him telling me he wanted nothing more to do with me or my family. I had every right to ask him to not do this… I was in the right and I knew it but he would not accept it nor will he probably ever apologise. He will defend his position, no matter how wrong he is.
The christian response, I know is, no matter who is wrong or right, to be able to humble oneself to make the peace.
But I just do not know how to back down… sometimes I do, when its not such a burning issue, but not when it’s something I’m passionate about.
I often wish I were a gentler and more humble person.
How do others graciously back down? even when you think you’re right? What if it was a very important issue, would you still apologise?
An apology to my DH and my brother means total admission of being in the wrong, which I find so hard to do when I know that I’m not. But I CAN admit I’m wrong, WHEN I’m wrong… but my pride is such a problem for me.
Anyone else suffer from this? Anyone dealt with this successfully?

Pride is one of the seven capital sins, and it is a bad one. when it comes to your hubby, don’t go on the attack with him even if your right. he’ll only think your trying to push the issue no matter what it is. think of it this way, if that was Jesus, would you act in such a manner? would you let your pride get in the way when you were
speaking to him?

i highly doubt it, and that is what you should remember when your puffed up with pride. learning humbleness is not easy, but our Lord is humble, and that is something you should take into account.

remember how he suffered for our sins? just try to focus on that when your angry and proud. Jesus would never act that way, and that is what we all need to remember. When you feel proud and argumentative, offer it up to Christ, and do what i do, say the Act of Contrition right away, and show our Lord how sorry you are.

Make amends with your hubby and brother. you don’t have to condone what your brother did, but being angry at him is not going to solve the issue.its better to be peacable then to be angry and proud is it not?

myself, i have a real quick temper, and iam prone to anger very fast, and i don’t like it. iam working on it! i have come along way, and that’s a fact, and trust me, working on my anger is not easy. i am not the proud type, but i do get cranky fast. i have zero tolerance for irritating people, and i get abrupt, and feel guilty afterwards. i offer it up to Christ, and say the act of contrition.

please, pray, and ask God to help you be more humble and not proud. I’ll pray for you.

 

[Peter_DiMitri]

I find it very hard to back down when I know (or think) I’m right. I know I suffer from too much pride but do not know how to change it. It is such a part of my personality that I do not know how to function any other way. I’m a very assertive person.
My husband has been a catholic 3 years and I’ve been one all my life. We have many disagreements on religious issues, ones that catholics are obliged to believe, that he doesn’t agree with. I admit, I get frustrated and sometimes a little angry defending the church, when this is stuff he’s supposed to believe.
I know that I should be more patient, but I’m not. I do not know how to back down or let things go.
Another example was that my brother did something highly inappropriate and very wrong, that involved my children recently (nothing sexual) and I rang to ask him to never do it again. He got instantly defensive and angry. It ended up with him yelling at me and with me hanging up on him. And him telling me he wanted nothing more to do with me or my family. I had every right to ask him to not do this… I was in the right and I knew it but he would not accept it nor will he probably ever apologise. He will defend his position, no matter how wrong he is.
The christian response, I know is, no matter who is wrong or right, to be able to humble oneself to make the peace.
But I just do not know how to back down… sometimes I do, when its not such a burning issue, but not when it’s something I’m passionate about.
I often wish I were a gentler and more humble person.
How do others graciously back down? even when you think you’re right? What if it was a very important issue, would you still apologise?
An apology to my DH and my brother means total admission of being in the wrong, which I find so hard to do when I know that I’m not. But I CAN admit I’m wrong, WHEN I’m wrong… but my pride is such a problem for me.
Anyone else suffer from this? Anyone dealt with this successfully?

There’s a difference between Pride and being right.

Jesus told a lot of people that they were wrong, and he was completely unapologetic about it. Nor should he have been.

I don’t know what happened with your brother, but your chidren are your children. He needs to respect how you want to raise them. It doesn’t matter whether or not he agrees with you, he should respect your wishes.

If he’s incapable of an apology (many people are), that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t forgive him. But it also doesn’t mean that you should not stand firm on what you want for your kids.

As for your husband, it may not be worth getting into the argument. If he’s not following Church teachings and is a cafeteria Catholic, you may want to advise him that it is not proper for him to receive the Eucharist. But if he’s not willing to be in communion with the Church, you can’t force him to be.

 

[Pug]

Sometimes there are two things: the issue and hand, and the way it is discussed. You should not concede that you were wrong about whatever you don’t wish your brother to do with your children. However, you are free to apologize for how you discussed it and your attitude, if that is appropriate.

It is not a good idea to back down on an issue concerning your children if you are their mother and caring for their well-being. You must do your duty by them. Your brother is not their mother.

 

[Lorik]

I am guilty of having trouble w/ pride also. It’s my root sin (most of the sin in my life is caused by my pride).
What helps me the most is to try to remember that it’s not me who has figured out what’s right or wrong. It’s God who has given me the grace to see what is true. So if I’m sure I’m in the right on an issue, let’s say it’s a church issue, I try to remember to thank God for the grace that He has given me to see that this is correct teaching. Then, I ask that He gives the person who I’m having a disagreement with so much grace that one day they will love the teaching even more than I love the teaching.
As far as apologies go, for those of us who suffer with pride it is a MUST ,imho. It teaches us to be humble and to be a better Christian. I once had a very bad argument w/ my fil. I later wrote a note to tell him I was sorry. I didn’t say “sorry my view was wrong”. But I did say that I was sorry for the way I had acted. I shouldn’t have raised my voice and said certain things.
Often Confession helps, too.`

 

[water]

I used to have a very hot temper, and when I knew I was right, I would defend myself. As a result, my temper got worsen.

I learn to control my temper by not arguing but praying. I pray for me to control my temper, to see goodness in other person and to love that person for that, and to pray for the other person to know the truth.

My hot temper is under control.