How to deal with random acts of malice you witness?

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Gloubi

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Hi!

I come seeking a bit of advice. I currently live in Berlin, and before that I was in Paris. Both very big cities, with very wide social specters. And be it in the workplace, at parties, or even overhearing conversations in the streets, every now and then, I witness people doing things that one would consider pretty bad by most standards.
In the long run, it saddens me. Learning every day that justice, empathy and courage are not ruling the world, and rather selfishness, individuality, pride, greed… Of course, we all have our flaws. We all make mistakes. But seeing so much is just too much.

How do you not crumble, thinking about where we’re going as a species? I’m so scared that our generation will leave the world in a worst state than it was before. How do you cope with this feeling, if you’ve ever had it?
 
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If it’s something where you can speak up or step in without fear of being harmed yourself, then do so. Be prepared to not be very popular doing it.

If it’s something where you can’t speak up or step in, then just pray for the person and the situation, realize it’s man’s fallen human nature at work, and move on.

Why would I “crumble, thinking about where we’re going as a species” when humans have been doing rotten things since God created the first ones? It’s not like it’s all of a sudden new news that people aren’t nice to each other. I personally am just happy I don’t have to witness public witch burnings or mass crucifixions or impalings or that sort of thing around my town. The last guy burnt in my area was over 100 years ago. Still awfully close in time but hopefully we’ve “progressed as a species” to where it’s not going to happen again here.

By the way, if you’re a young person it’s normal to be scared of what lies ahead and translate this into some general fear about the universe. By the time you get old you will have faced enough concrete challenges in life and overcome some of them that you’ll have a better handle on this and be more able to just let the universe take care of itself with God’s help while you take care of the business that is actually yours to deal with.
 
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My parents were not Christians, they were atheists or perhaps agnostics. My mother particularly was always a witness to me in that she was willing to step out and say something in the kind of circumstances you are talking about.

I remember for example being in a large crowded post office waiting in line when I was about 8 or 9. A mother near us was hitting and terrorizing her child. Noone said anything. I knew my mother was going to step in and I remember begging internally that she wouldn’t as I was seriously worried for her safety. But sure enough she went over to the mother and child. I can’t remember what she said but I imagine it was something along the lines of could she help her? Or something. The situation calmed down.

She taught me to be brave and to care about others and not wash your hands of those around you struggling. She definitely showed me that vulnerable people, especially children, deserve our protection. I was raised in a European country where because of gun control few citizens had guns and was generally a lot less violent than American society (where I now live) so of course how potentially dangerous a situation is can change on location and circumstances.

She was a teacher and eventually was chosen by the other teachers in her school to be the Principal, but unfortunately she died before she could take up the role.

She chose to teach underprivileged children in a very poor inner-city district. The teachers were devoted to providing a really good education for the kids and a warm and welcoming school environment. That all taught me a lot.
 
Depends on the situation. You have to judge on a case by case basis. But you have to remember people have free will so sometimes what they are doing is legal/within their rights. In such cases, just pray and remember Jesus and the Apostles suffered worse.
 
Speak up when you see somebody harming somebody else.

And be the type of person you want to be around—spread kindness.
 
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I also live and work in a very large city and totally relate to your post. I feel like I see the full range of the human experience on a daily basis, the best and the worst of humanity.
Many days, the darkness of the world can feel overwhelming, but then I think about how much darker it would be if it weren’t for the light of Christ. Other days, I can see the “yeast” that God has mixed into the dough and I feel joyful to be a part of it.
Don’t forget the lesson that St. Peter taught us when he tried to walk on water; keep your eyes on Christ and you won’t sink!
 
Gloubi said:
How do you not crumble, thinking about where we’re going as a species? I’m so scared that our generation will leave the world in a worst state than it was before. How do you cope with this feeling, if you’ve ever had it?
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Fight it with kindness. Or to share that famous Ghandi quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Offer to help an elderly man carry his groceries. Let someone ahead of you in line if they look stressed and in a hurry. Give up your seat on a bus to a pregnant woman. Exhibit patience and empathy in the workplace. Volunteer at a homeless shelter. And yes, speak out when appropriate. Defend somebody from an unkind remark.

You have no power to control the actions of those around you. But it’s quite empowering to realize that you control your own choices.
 
You defend when you can.

But you can always inject some good wherever you can! If only more people did this.
 
OP, you might want to check out the book “The Biggest Lie in the History of Christianity” by Matthew Kelly. It addresses the sort of question you have in your first post, basically by telling people they can inject some good into the world daily and in so doing create “Holy Moments”. Looking at it as being some huge worldwide problem involving all of humanity is not productive; what’s important is that you do what you can, where you are.
 
Trust in God.
Pray for the individual people/events you see. Also it bears well to try not to judge these people, yes you see bad actions/behaviour, but you do not know if there is remorse from these individuals. Remember 2 Corinthians 12:2 where St Paul tells us Jesus’ words to him 'But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
So all this weakness you see out there in the world is just ripe for God’s power to be made perfect… which brings me back to my first point. Trust in God.
Also remember that God lives in each of us, the more you look the more you will see the Divine in the world, right there in the ugliness of the world is God in his splendour , getting his hands dirty fixing us, so to speak.
 
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Jesus Christ said to the.Apostles, first thing after the resurrection, “do not be afraid”.
Just speak up in all honesty and God will protect you.
Most bullies are just weak people who crumble at first time stepping in. This is coming from me who is generally afraid of people based on certain experiences that haunt me, but when I can just step.in all.I see is the bully for what he/she is - a fake. Like the bully’s ruler, the father of all lies, the devil.
May the Lord.inspire and protect you.
Amen
 
What’s wrong with individuality? If anything, we need more people being individuals and less just following the crowd.
 
By individuality I meant people driven by their direct personal gain, who do not do anything for anyone. It’s difficult to explain, since English is not my first language.
 
Thank you all for your answers. I think I get the general idea: I should try to focus on what I can do, instead of all that needs doing. And hopefully, other people do the same, and if we do it long enough and hard enough, good spreads.
I’m going to have to meditate on that!
 
You probably mean “individualism.” The difference in spelling and pronunciation is subtle, but the meaning is quite different. If we’re extreme individualists, we’re not being considerate of our other people in our community and the world at large.

Larger cities can be emotionally cold environments, unfortunately, and communities are becoming more fragmented. Is there a place where you can connect with others, either in church or elsewhere?
 
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