How to dialogue with someone who's closed off

[namax91]

I need help. I was trying to dialogue with a Facebook friend who used to be Catholic but now identifies as being agnostic. She told me that she believes there is a God somewhere but she doesn’t see any evidence that He cares about us, especially due to the presence of evil. I brought up free will but all she said to this was she’s had the idea of free will shoved down her throat and said to each his own. I next brought up miracles but after this she stopped texting and clearly doesn’t want to think or talk about it. I finally brought up Catholic Answers and unsurprisingly she still hasn’t responded. What Is the best strategy for me, and how should someone answer the annoying “to each his own”? Prayers would also be appreciated for her and for and everyone else who has left the Church.

 

[JediSisko]

I’ll keep your friend in my prayers, for it amazes how powerful that is. In dialog, I would say things like “God Bless You.” These little sayings can go a long way.

 

[naomily]

Look, she’s made it clear she has no interest in discussing religious matters. Respect that and leave her alone. You can’t pester someone into a conversion.

We have no idea why she’s left the church and what’s in her heart.

 

[AussieTrish]

If your friend did have faith in God as a loving Father, then you could say, “not everyone to his or her own, but to God’s truth and reality.” However her view of God goes no further that a vague possible existence so the words wouldn’t mean a lot to her nor will they convince her.

If your friend was trying to force her agnostic views upon you, instead of just dodging your attempts to convince her, which she is trying to do in saying “to each his own”, you would find it very intrusive, and it wouldn’t convince you. And you wouldn’t like it. It isn’t the way to convince a person in her position to believe.

If her experience has been that God isn’t a loving, involved Father, then trying to convince her that God is a loving personal God won’t work. There is so much evil in the world, and that is what she is acutely aware of, so only grace and God’s time is able to lead her to faith.

Pray for her and pray that she will have experience of God’s love, however long that takes.
May God bless your friend and you.

 

[AussieTrish]

Look, she’s made it clear she has no interest in discussing religious matters. Respect that and leave her alone. You can’t pester someone into a conversion.

We have no idea why she’s left the church and what’s in her heart.

Exactly, if she were open to dialogue that could be different.
However, under the circumstances, your responsibility is to pray for her, and show her respect and kindness, and live your own faith well.

 

[SecretGarden]

There is an old phase that states: it takes two to tango. If the person doesn’t want to dialogue, leave it alone. Instead focus on being a good friend if you do, over time her reasons will come out. When that does, listen and don’t judge. Don’t aim to convert the person back either. If you show that you enjoy it being a catholic, perhaps that will help bring her back. It is the non-verbal language which makes a big difference. Furthermore, the Catholic church is run by people who are sinners and it is amazing what types of things humans do to each other. The Catholic church is guilty on several counts therefore it is best to pray for your friend and be there. Otherwise if you push the dialogue issue and don’t respect your friend’s request, you will alienate the person even more further away from the church.