How to discern your vocation?

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Hi all! This is my first post. This is a question that I’ve been thinking about for quite a while now. I’m trying to discern my vocation and figure out what God wants for me and how I can best serve Him. So I guess my question is, how do you really know for sure? How do you know that something is really what Gods intended for you? And what do you do if something happens that goes against what you thought God had intended for you? And if that’s the case, how do you find the strength to submit to God’s will?

I guess I’m just not very clear on how the process of discernment really works. Sorry if it sounded confusing - I hope I made some sense in my ramblings. Thanks in advance!
 
Follow you interests, your insticts, even your talents. Try things out and see what fits.
 
chicago said:
Follow you interests, your insticts, even your talents. Try things out and see what fits.
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Thanks for the advice! I guess what I was really asking is how do you discern what God wants for you through prayer, be it praying the rosary or whatnot. It just seems to me that it’s hard if not impossible to be 100% sure of what God wants for you. Not sure if I’m making sense or not.
 
Through prayer, it depends upon what kind of prayer you are drawn to. This, in and of itself, can be part of the discernment in where you are being led. Perhaps meditate on the mysteries of the rosary or some scriptural passage. See where God is leading you with the message.

As far as being “100% certain” that this is the way, well that can be a challenge in and of itself. More typically, we walk in darkness and only get shown the next best step. So all we can do is keep walking that way in which we seem to think that the Lord is leading and trust that he is taking us down the correct path. If it gets derailed, then they may become a chance to review whether this is the way to continue journeying or if we need to try another road.
 
chicago said:
As far as being “100% certain” that this is the way, well that can be a challenge in and of itself. More typically, we walk in darkness and only get shown the next best step. So all we can do is keep walking that way in which we seem to think that the Lord is leading and trust that he is taking us down the correct path. If it gets derailed, then they may become a chance to review whether this is the way to continue journeying or if we need to try another road.
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I think this is the part I’m having trouble with. I’m the kind of person who needs to know what’s going to happen and to know that I have control over what’s going to happen, so it’s especially hard for me to accept something that goes against my own will. I find it very hard to submit to His will sometimes, as I have often prayed for the strength and faith that I need.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. I appreciate it!
 
Well, first and foremost, if you are truly concerned with discerning your vocation, you have to do it in the right order.

Taking a hint from the Baltimore Catechism, you must first discern if you are called to religious life before you can even think about marriage.

So, don’t worry about if you should be married or be a priest. Put marriage out of your head. Focus on becoming a priest/religious.

In my discernment, I noticed that while praying upon it I noticed imagining myself doing priestly things. (Celebrating the sacraments, etc). Stop and meditate for a while, focusing on God. Then, imagine yourself saying Mass. I did that, and it brought a smile to my face. From that moment it was useless to fight it.

You most likely will fight it for a while though. But if the feeling keeps coming back that you should become a priest, that is usually a sign.

I had a moment with God where I knew if I didn’t go to seminary I would never be content. But not everyone gets that. Most just go in with a prayer and a desire to follow God’s will.

Also, get a spiritual director ASAP. Also, if you currently face any spiritual problems or…sinful activities, a spiritual director can help you work through these so that you can hear Christ clearly.

Pax tecum.
 
At this point, I don’t feel that I’m being called to the priesthood. I’m pretty sure that I’d like to get married and have a family, but I would still like to serve God in some other capacity, as well. I’ve been thinking of becoming a deacon at some point. Deacons get to do most of the things that a priest does, so in a sense, they get the best of both worlds, so to speak. I feel like I can do things to help people, and I think being a deacon will allow me to do that, in addition to honoring the Lord in married life.
 
catechumen08 said:
At this point, I don’t feel that I’m being called to the priesthood. I’m pretty sure that I’d like to get married and have a family, but I would still like to serve God in some other capacity, as well. I’ve been thinking of becoming a deacon at some point. Deacons get to do most of the things that a priest does, so in a sense, they get the best of both worlds, so to speak. I feel like I can do things to help people, and I think being a deacon will allow me to do that, in addition to honoring the Lord in married life.
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Well, just a few things. And please, please don’t take me in a negative light. I am just trying to give you things to think about.

Deacons do not even come close to getting the “best” of both worlds. Yes, they can be married. But they can only perform two of the sacraments - baptism and marriage. They miss out on celebrating the most important part of Holy Orders, the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Nor can they forgive sins in Christ’s name. Even as a seminarian, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like a wife and children. We all would. But we realize the importance celibacy and what being married to Christ really means. It is just one of many sacrifices you make for Christ, regardless of your vocation.

If you sense you may be called to be a deacon, that may be the start of your true calling in life - priesthood. I only say that because the ONLY way to discern the married diaconate is after you are married. Your wife and children are part of that process because once you are married, it is no longer just about you. So at this point it is impossible to know if you might be called to be a married deacon.

Once you have determined that the Lord is not calling you to priesthood, then, and only then, can you determine if your vocation is marriage. If it is marriage, then do not be disappointed or like you let God down. Not everyone is called. I just wish all men would examine themselves as you are. I truly believe that God is not calling less vocations than he ever has, I just think more men are ignoring Him than ever before.

Pax tecum.
 
Hi Resurrexi! Thank you for the post. I’d like to clarify that I’ve almost always felt that I’m being called to marriage. I have thought about the priesthood at times, but at this point, I do not feel that God is calling me to it. I do feel, though, that I would like to be more active within the parish, and to help others wherever I can. While being a deacon is limited in the number of Sacraments I would be able to perform, I think I will find comfort and enjoy in the fact that I will be able to perform the Sacraments that I’m able to; in fact, I would feel blessed. I would happily assist the priest with the Mass in whatever capacity and help out wherever I can. Right now, I think this is wheret my discernment has led me and I’m quite happy with it.

I also wanted to say that I respect very much your choice to become a priest, and I think you will make a great priest!
 
catechumen08 said:
Hi Resurrexi! Thank you for the post. I’d like to clarify that I’ve almost always felt that I’m being called to marriage. I have thought about the priesthood at times, but at this point, I do not feel that God is calling me to it. I do feel, though, that I would like to be more active within the parish, and to help others wherever I can. While being a deacon is limited in the number of Sacraments I would be able to perform, I think I will find comfort and enjoy in the fact that I will be able to perform the Sacraments that I’m able to; in fact, I would feel blessed. I would happily assist the priest with the Mass in whatever capacity and help out wherever I can. Right now, I think this is wheret my discernment has led me and I’m quite happy with it.
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Well, then you have it easy! There is so much to get involved in that you will have your hands full with parish activities. 😃
 
I was where you are… exactly 6 days ago. I understand what you mean completely.

The best advice I can give is this- go with the flow, as it were. If you’re a student, keep up with your studies. Do well, open doors.

But at the same time, keep your heart open for God. Listen for Him. How do you keep your ears open to the Lord? There are several easy ways to do this which I’m sure you know already!

Weekly to monthly confession, frequent reception of the Eucharist, Adoration as often as possible, the rosary, and perhaps most effective of all, Catholic retreats. Steubenville retreats are amazing.

And be ready for a change in plans. Yours and God’s may not match.

God will get to you. He got to me. 🙂
 
One thing that I heard from Jason Evert when he was younger he had looked into the priesthood and he has said that everyone should have a healthy attraction to both marriage and a religious vocation (ie, priesthood or religious life). This shows that you truly have a understanding of how beautiful each vocation is and how it is destined by God. Good luck with you continued discerning! I also am discerning the religious life and have had many obstacles but I see how beautiful and fruitful each is for those who are called to their respectful vocation! God Bless your journey!
 
Other than what has been mentioned, at some point you need to determine:

a) What are you eligible for? If you are married, you are not eligible for Orders (other than permanent diaconate), and if you are divorced and still married in the eyes of the church, you are not free to remarry.
b) What can you handle? Specifically, can you handle lifelong celibacy?
 
him discerning. but im not quite clear on what he wants me to do. but i am patient and waiting until the time comes. i have full confidence in him. i need to visit the blessed sacrament.

testimony: (the reason why i have confidence in him is because…) jesus stopped a woman from getting married to a man. he wants her to become a nun. i have a feeling he will appear in my dreams if there is something he wants me to do or tell me something during adoration.
 
shubr0om said:
i have a feeling he will appear in my dreams if there is something he wants me to do or tell me something during adoration.
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While this sort of thing is certainly always possible, it is not the norm. We need to be careful of waiting for some great sign from above which will guide us unambiguously. Rather, the Lord typically speaks in a still, small voice and makes use of what we already have in our everyday lives. “Grace building upon nature” as the saying goes.
 
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