How to discipline bratty cats?

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IlCajetan

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My brother’s girlfriend has been living with us for pretty much all Of quarantine and for the rest of the summer and she has two cats, while I have one and a dog. We got him from outside and he keeps hiding under my brother’s bed with one of his girlfriend’s cats and he’s being very mean and not cuddly, or as my mother says, “spicy”. Any advice on how to assert dominance over your cat and to make them more friendly? He is not very responsive, even to treats. Just a mean boy!
 
Nope. Cats do what they want to do. 😉

Is this new behavior for your cat?
 
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Kinda, he was very loving when he came to our doorstep. He was just a little kitten, purred like a motorboat!
 
Not being a cat, but having had them all my life, your cat’s stable home life was suddenly disrupted by a new person now living in your house, and by two new cats. Your cat doesn’t know what’s going on, just that his whole routine and home life has been turned upside down. You understand that things are different for a short time, but your cat doesn’t know that. Is your cat all of a sudden also having to share a food/water bowl, litter box, favorite sleeping spot? Is one of the new cats maybe quietly trying to show your cat that it’s the new boss? Being the dominate one is a big deal in the animal world and your cat may be being intimidated. Your cat and one of the other ones hiding under the bed is a big signal that they are scared/don’t like this whole new situation. Your cat is acting normal for the situation. I think you trying to assert dominance over your scared cat doesn’t sound like a very kind or loving thing to do. He needs extra kindness and care, but it has to be when he is ready. Asserting dominance isn’t ever going to make something more friendly to you. Wishing the best to your cat.
 
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I adopted a cat that turned out to be a fairly feisty one. But he does have an endearing, affectionate side too. His feistiness makes him still quite playful at eight years. Over time he has mellowed, and scratches us now only once every few months. Patience. One day at a time. The only discipline that I feel positive about is a few squirts with water if he gets too aggressive or stubborn about something. It doesn’t stop his antics permanently though… I guess it’s more for me, to feel like I can do something, lol.
 
IlCajetan said:
assert dominance over your cat and to make them more friendly
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🤣 😂 😃

The first rule of having a cat is to accept the personality it has. You cannot train it to be different. If it wishes later to change its personality, it will do that, but you can’t make it change.

If you want a cuddly sweet cat, my advice is to adopt a cuddly cat from the cat rescue. Usually they will screen them for traits like that.

Also, your cat sounds like it is stressed. The best way to deal with a stressed cat is to just ignore it and let it calm down. Don’t keep trying to give it treats or get it to sit with you. If you got the cat from outside, then living in the house with a whole bunch of people and a dog and two other cats may not be to its liking. It may wish to live outside.
 
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Buks said:
I adopted a cat that turned out to be a fairly feisty one. But he does have an endearing, affectionate side too. His feistiness makes him still quite playful at eight years. Over time he has mellowed, and scratches us now only once every few months. Patience. One day at a time.
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Yes, I have two right now that have lived here for 5 years and one will let me give her one pet about once a month and the other doesn’t always run away when i walk past. This is big progress for them, they were semi-feral kittens when I took them.
And I have a third one who has lived here for 2 years and has just reached the point where she hisses at me only about every other time I bring her plate of food rather than every single time.
 
You can’t make a cat friendly, and asserting dominance is pointless (however, you must not let the cat think that it is being dominant, or you life will become miserable. Any such attempts must be squished).

As far as discipline, a light bop on the head with an open palm, from straight ahead, is how their mothers do it. (do not hit it, just a mild bop!). They will often back down a bit as they see your “paw” coning down.
 
As @dochawk says, “asserting dominance” isn’t something you do with cats. Dogs, yes. Cats, no. Your cat has a trespasser problem. You gave him to understand, year after year, that he had the house all to himself (no other cats, that is) and now you’ve suddenly gone back on your word. No wonder he’s upset and resentful. Who wouldn’t be, in cat terms, of course. Give him time. He’ll come around to it in the end.
 
IlCajetan said:
Any advice on how to assert dominance over yo
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Yes do not have them as free feeders. Only feed them occidental . have them reley on you for food.and only a small amount at a time
 
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Took in a barn kitten, cute, fluffball, his mama rejected him but not the other kitten. He was a normal kitten until he was weaned (abruptly, at vet’s recommendation) off the cat formula. This cat had an attitude so bad, I nearly gave up on him, and I’m a cat person. Worst yet, he was a loving cat, so trips down to my mom’s and he was perfectly behaved (imagine a trouble child that pretends to be an angel around those that aren’t “family”…)

The solution was real weird. He was a moody cat, and apparently felt slighted quite often (still does, but it’s easier to recognize now when he’s upset)…He has a very particular personality and wanted…recognition…if I so much as walked past him. The revenge for missing him when walking by was usually random attacks while doing anything normal and not paying him attention. It was a crazy amount of aggression. He gets the moods from his mama cat I think…she’s a bit nutty as well (hot/cold).

Anyway, he went more toward normal cat over the course of 8 months or so, and my arms slowly looked less and less like that of someone that abuses cats.

With every pass by him, mention him, give him a pat on the head, a few scratches under the chin, slow blink… (also, always say what you’re doing, then the cat knows what’s going on, if loud noise will occur “Kitties, Loud! 1, 2, 3!” get cats used to 1, 2, 3 by tossing toys on count of 3.)
 
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A so-called cat expert tried to claim that cats can’t experience jealousy. Obviously, he has never been around a jealous cat. I’ve personally experienced my own cat being jealous when I brought him home a companion, until he finally realized he is still top cat and there’s enough love to go around for both of them.

Your cat probably resents the presence of the other cats, and the new person, who is taking attention away from him. He might also be afraid of the other cats.

My suggestion is to let him stay under the bed, but continue to bring him food and water, and maybe a favorite toy if he has one, then leave him alone. Pretty soon, he’s going to understand that he isn’t being left out and abandoned, that you still regard him as part of your family, and he may eventually come around.

If he will let you pet him, do so as often as you can. He may never grow to accept the other person in your house, or maybe not even the other cats, but he might become more secure and comfortable with you, again.

A lot of cats are strictly one-person cats.

Just give him time and his space, and continue to take good care of him.
 
Cats are very sensitive creatures.

They do not adapt well to any kind of change or adjustment to their routine or environment, and they become stressed very easily.

As others have said, the best thing that you can do, is to leave him alone.

You want to make sure that he does come out from under the bed to eat, drink, and use the litter box.

If he’s not eating or drinking properly, then you also have another problem.

You can also try helping to calm him by putting a pheromone collar on him, or what’s also known as a “calming collar.”

There are different brands out there that you can find online and in pet stores.

There are also the same type of thing that you can buy in plug-ins, too, that you plug in to a wall outlet that release cat pheromones into the environment that help to create a calm environment.

You can ask your Veterinarian for suggestions if this kind of behavior continues, because as I mentioned, you want to make sure that he is coming out from under the bed to at least eat and drink properly, and to use the litter box.
 
Don’t let them watch Tom And Jerry cartoons for a WHOLE WEEK.

Don’t back down.

It’s harsh, but they’ll thank you later
 
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