How to embarrass you teenager

[Aurelia]

My kids have reached the Age of Mortification–everything I do motrifies them. After much experience in this field, I have compiled a list:
HOW TO EMBARRASS YOUR TEENAGER
1.) Pick him up from school in a 15-yr-old Buick Century (or other uncool car).
2.)If you do not see him coming out of school, get out of the car to look for him.
3.) Ask his classmates if they’ve seen him.
4.) If you catch sight of him at a distance, call and wave, preferably using his nickname (“Oh, Skippy! I’m over here!”)
5.)When driving past his friends, beep the horn and wave at them.
6.)When his friends come to the house, engage them in conversation.
7.)At the mall, attempt to walk next to him.
8.)When shopping, ask if you should buy him new underwear since his old underwear is getting ragged, and would he prefer boxers or briefs?
9.) For mothers–In the case of a daughter, talk to her through the fitting room door (" How does it fit? Do you want a larger size? Let me see it on you.")
10.) If the two of you should get separated in the store, have him paged.

Can anyone add to this list?
(Note to teenagers: this is SATIRE, okay?)

 

[Max]

Can anyone add to this list?
(Note to teenagers: this is SATIRE, okay?)

I dunno, it looks like some kind of conspiracy to me…

I guess I have a few things to add to the list…

1. Bringing along the whole family when picking him up from school (especially when they don’t need to actually be there…they just go along for the heck of it!)
2. Showing his friends pictures or even videos of when he was a little kid…(luckily that’s never happened to me…not yet anyway. If my parents did do anything like that, my friends probably wouldn’t stop laughing )
3. Bragging about him while he’s right there…haha, it’s unwanted attention…especially when whatever it is is no big deal
4. Trying to tell a joke to his friends, or anything else that is meant to be funny. Heheh, my grandpa does this a lot…Sense of humor just doesn’t run in my family haha

Well, that’s all I can think of for now.

 

[Ana]

Number two was: to get out of the car and look for him.

My dad had to pick me up one time. He didn’t see me and came looking for me … IN HIS PAJAMAS! This was fifteen years ago. I am still traumatized.

 

[Anonymous]

These all have greater impact if done in front of teen and teen’s friends.

Dress like a teenager.

Hold your teen’s hand in public.

While driving your teen and a freind somewhere sing along to the tunes on sappy radio station. Better yet, just sing! We’ve Only Just Begun is a great start. (I love that song!) Anything by John Denver works too (especially Thank God I’m a Country Boy!)

Lick a tissue and wipe their chin with it.

Tell them they were breastfed.

 

[dhgray]

Have the school secretary deliever a brown bag lunch to him/her.