How to Evangelize when Confused

[BunnyLover]

Sorry this is so long! I will try my best to edit it shorter.

I have been dating my BF for about 6 years now. The last two years, I have fallen into a depression of sorts and fell out of my faith, though before I was very faithful and and followed the Church strongly. I have made several attempts to return, but have so far failed. I was only diagnosed this week, and so hope treatment will enable my full return. This is my failure, and not the point of my post, but it’s important because this is the example of Catholics I have set for BF.

His family has mostly popular and secular beliefs, even euthanasia in extreme circumstances, and that churches should be democracies (They are Lutheran). They have always made me feel like they welcome and respect my being Catholic, and it seems like it’s the norm in the family to convert upon marriage, but** being a true Catholic would be so foreign!** The attitude he has been raised with religion is that you can swap one with another, at will, whenever you want, because they’re just labels.

We have talked about getting married for years, and it seems like it’s happening soon. He has always said he wants to convert to Catholicism before our wedding. He says the faith I have is incredible, something he never got to have, and it’s something he would love for our children to have and he hopes to develop. But even If I originally set a good example our first 4 years of dating, I have set the worst example in the last 2 years!

I have made it clear to my BF that Catholic Church will allow us to be married without his conversion, that I would never pressure or coerce him, and he has to do what he wants. He seems insistent but also, he hasn’t bothered to sign up for any RCIA classes or anything either. I obviously want this to be a life-changing and life-long commitment, not a wedding present.

Problem:
I do not want to influence this decision that must come from within his own heart. Therefore, I don’t want to talk about it at all, but am I obligated to help him with it? If I believe he is doing it for the wrong reasons, then do I just let it happen and hope it will work out later on, or do I speak against it?

Note: I had a boyfriend who converted to Catholicism before because of my “great example” but he fell out of the Church later (I didn’t make it my mission to convert him but I cannot know if the way I talked about religion pressured him or inspired him).
It disgusts me to know I had a part in someone lying to my own parish and to God. I can’t bear to have that happen with the man I love to bits! I would gladly take him as he is.

 

[SonCatcher]

It’s okay to tell him about your faith whenever the subject is appropriate (for example, he may need someone to tell him why euthanasia is never okay or the stability of the hierarchal structure - i.e. being founded on Peter the “rock”). One reason for this is that spouses do have a responsibility to assist each other into Heaven (as you are a “future spouse”, it’s good to use the dating period to see how to make that work in your relationship).

It doesn’t seem like you’re likely to drive him to RCIA or leave applications for it lying around his apartment, so you understand that it really is ultimately his responsibility to attend to his religious formation.

 

[Joe_5859]

Weclome to CAF!

First off, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about the old boyfriend. We all make our own decisions. If he has chosen not to continue in the Catholic faith, that is his decision to make. Perhaps he was sincere at the time of his conversion. Or maybe – as you said – he was lying before God just to make you happy. Either way, it was his decision and his sin (provided you didn’t intentionally manipulate him or something like that).

Second, it’s never too late to get back into the strong practice of your faith. Life can get hard. With something like depression, it exacerbates all of our daily crosses. But as many times as we turn away from God, He invites us to turn back toward Him. Daily prayer, frequent confession, and frequent reception of the Eucharist are all great ways to stay more firmly attached to the Lord.

Third, with your current boyfriend, I don’t think not talking about it is the way to go. Again I would say that he is a big boy and can make his own decisions. You have already let him know that you do not expect him to convert beforehand nor do you want to coerce him into doing so. So it’s up to him. Be there to answer his questions and talk through things. You don’t have to be the one to bring up up all the time. But neither do you need to change the subject whenever it naturally comes up.

I know several guys whose conversion to the Church started with a pretty face. But it didn’t end there. Once they showed up – even though their reasons may have not been the most sincere – they came to encounter Christ and were changed. Keep praying for him.

I will pray for you both.

 

[BunnyLover]

thank you both! I was unsure what I was obligated to do. I hope my example for him will improve!

 

[CalCatholic]

Weclome to CAF!

First off, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about the old boyfriend. We all make our own decisions. If he has chosen not to continue in the Catholic faith, that is his decision to make. Perhaps he was sincere at the time of his conversion. Or maybe – as you said – he was lying before God just to make you happy. Either way, it was his decision and his sin (provided you didn’t intentionally manipulate him or something like that).

Second, it’s never too late to get back into the strong practice of your faith. Life can get hard. With something like depression, it exacerbates all of our daily crosses. But as many times as we turn away from God, He invites us to turn back toward Him. Daily prayer, frequent confession, and frequent reception of the Eucharist are all great ways to stay more firmly attached to the Lord.

Third, with your current boyfriend, I don’t think not talking about it is the way to go. Again I would say that he is a big boy and can make his own decisions. You have already let him know that you do not expect him to convert beforehand nor do you want to coerce him into doing so. So it’s up to him. Be there to answer his questions and talk through things. You don’t have to be the one to bring up up all the time. But neither do you need to change the subject whenever it naturally comes up.

I know several guys whose conversion to the Church started with a pretty face. But it didn’t end there. Once they showed up – even though their reasons may have not been the most sincere – they came to encounter Christ and were changed. Keep praying for him.

I will pray for you both.

This

I married my Catholic wife (I was agnostic) in the Catholic Church. I stayed agnostic for 26 years of that marriage until the Holy Spirit finally got through to me and I entered RCIA!
You have led him to the Church, let the Spirit do the rest! You should concentrate on your health and your Catholic faith, when both are strengthened, you will continue to be a ‘light’ to your BF (and future husband)! Be a good example of a Catholic Christian for him and let the Holy Spirit take over. I’ll pray for you both!

 

[PJM]

=BunnyLover;10304363]Sorry this is so long! I will try my best to edit it shorter.

I have been dating my BF for about 6 years now. The last two years, I have fallen into a depression of sorts and fell out of my faith, though before I was very faithful and and followed the Church strongly. I have made several attempts to return, but have so far failed. I was only diagnosed this week, and so hope treatment will enable my full return. This is my failure, and not the point of my post, but it’s important because this is the example of Catholics I have set for BF.

We have talked about getting married for years, and it seems like it’s happening soon. He has always said he wants to convert to Catholicism before our wedding. He says the faith I have is incredible, something he never got to have, and it’s something he would love for our children to have and he hopes to develop. But even If I originally set a good example our first 4 years of dating, I have set the worst example in the last 2 years!

I have made it clear to my BF that Catholic Church will allow us to be married without his conversion, that I would never pressure or coerce him, and he has to do what he wants. He seems insistent but also, he hasn’t bothered to sign up for any RCIA classes or anything either. I obviously want this to be a life-changing and life-long commitment, not a wedding present.

Problem:
I do not want to influence this decision that must come from within his own heart. Therefore, I don’t want to talk about it at all, but am I obligated to help him with it? If I believe he is doing it for the wrong reasons, then do I just let it happen and hope it will work out later on, or do I speak against it?

Note: I had a boyfriend who converted to Catholicism before because of my “great example” but he fell out of the Church later (I didn’t make it my mission to convert him but I cannot know if the way I talked about religion pressured him or inspired him).
It disgusts me to know I had a part in someone lying to my own parish and to God. I can’t bear to have that happen with the man I love to bits! I would gladly take him as he is.

So here’s what you ought to base your decission on;

WWJD?
If I may be so bold as to answer for Christ * a Lay Apostlate for Teaching our Catholic Faith. NOT that I can speak FOR Christ; but I can tell yo what advide he’d give you.

Because there is only One God

And because God is Perfect

There can be logically and Theologically only one set of Faith beliefs

And One God; with One set of beliefs; has but one True Church. Todays Catholic Church’s.

GOD who is Perfect cannot hold contradictory views on th same issue. IMPOSSIBLE.

Jesus Himself invented the term "church’ and indroduced it in** Mt. 16:15-19 **to make plain His Godly Will.

Look at these words carefully and prayerfully.

**Mt. 16:15-19 **“Simon Peter answered and said: Thou art Christ, the Son of the living God. And Jesus answering, said to him: Blessed art thou, Simon Bar-Jona: because flesh and blood hath not revealed it to thee, but my Father who is in heaven. And I say to thee: That thou art Peter; and upon this rock [YOU PETER] I [WHO AM YOUR GOD] will build my church, [NOTABLY SINGULAR] and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I [GOD] will give to thee [AND ONLY TO YOU PETER] the keys of the kingdom of heaven. And whatsoever thou shalt bind upon earth, it shall be bound also in heaven: * and whatsoever thou shalt loose upon earth, it shall be loosed also in heaven.”

Every reference in the entire bible to “church” is speaking exclusively; directly and only to today’s CC. No other church would even exist for many hundreds of years after the Bible was authored and its Canon was set.

Dear friend; “THRUTH” is a singular thing. Pope Benedict sais in His FIRST Teaching as our New Pope: “THERE CANNOT BE YOUR TRUTH AND MY TRUTH OR THEIR WOULD BE NO TRUTH.”

Because God is in charge; God has given you a special opportunity [and with it an obligation] to Know; Live publically; share and when necessary defend our Catholic Faith.

Do so gently; truthfully and be prepared to explain WHY we belief what we do.

God Bless; get well! And Do God’s Will because IT DOES MATTER!

pat/PJM**

 

[TopResearcher]

Preach to him about Eucharistic miracles; they have no gentic history DNA, and they have living tissue - the Christ (AB+ blood type). The Orthodox have major miracles too, but many of them are in-tune with Rome.

therealpresence.org/eucharst/mir/a3.html

miraclehunter.com/marian_apparitions/approved_apparitions/coptic.html

God bless