How to find a catholic girl

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BCathB

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Good morning everyone,

I’m an 18 years old boy, I’m new in this forum.

How can I find a good catholic girl that can love me as God says, and with whom I can create a family? In my church people are old, there aren’t young boys or girls, and I don’t want to use dating sites. I always pray God for this.
I’m going to go for 15 days in a Jesuit university in NYC, are there possibilities to find a Catholic girl? Thank you, God blesses you all
 
I’m not sure from your post if you mean you are just going to stay at the Jesuit university for 15 days or if you mean in 15 days you are traveling to the Jesuit university where you will attend college for a few years. Forgive me for not quite understanding the English.

If you are only going to be at the Jesuit university for 15 days then you’re unlikely to find a good Catholic girl for a relationship in that short amount of time, especially given that you are probably going there for some educational purpose and not to look for dates.

Since you are 18, your best opportunity to meet a girl would be to attend a Catholic co-educational university for a few years, preferably one in your own area and culture so you don’t have any sort of distance barrier or other barrier, and then be active in the Newman center and other Catholic activities there. Many people meet their spouses in college as there are a large pool of people your age, many of whom are also seeking a relationship.

Good luck and God bless.
 
I’m gonna stay at the University for only 15 days, next I’ll return home. I was wondering if there were catholic girls, maybe I can start meeting with one and next we can keep our friendship alive.
 
TheLittleLady said:
Attend youth events at your parish, near by parishes, contact the Diocese Youth Office and see what is happening.
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And most of all, be patient. You’re probably not going to meet your future wife in the next month.
 
Your best bet is to meet a girl closer to your home. If there’s nothing happening in your parish, then you should check with the diocese to see if there are youth events or organizations happening at the diocese level that you can join. Also, if you can get to more than one Catholic parish in your area, there may be a parish near you that has more young people and you can attend there.
 
Step 1) be an attractive man. Or become attractive. Learn about working out. Maybe dress nicer. Hygiene.

Step 2) be devoutly Catholic. Learn more about your faith. Live it.

Step 3) have a good personality. Really care about others. Learn to see people differently. Love more.

Step 4) take care of your career. Get a job. Work hard.

Step 5) gain confidence. Hone self esteem. Build social skills.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
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HopkinsReb:
You’re probably not going to meet your future wife in the next month.
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Correct. In addition, a lot of people at age 18 are focused on going to college and are not thinking in terms of finding a future spouse right now.
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And the other advice I often give folks is to make finding a spouse a secondary concern. Don’t put all your eggs in that basket, because any time you hang your main focus in life heavily on something so dependent on others’ opinions of you, it’s going to result in disaster. Keep your eyes open and date, of course, but don’t make it your main goal every day. Focus more on being the kind of guy worth marrying than on finding a woman worth marrying, and things will fall into place sooner or later.
 
HopkinsReb said:
Focus more on being the kind of guy worth marrying than on finding a woman worth marrying, and things will fall into place sooner or later.
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This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Not gonna lie but I became super sad when I realized I wasn’t a man worth marrying
 
Le_Crouton said:
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HopkinsReb:
Focus more on being the kind of guy worth marrying than on finding a woman worth marrying, and things will fall into place sooner or later.
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This is one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Not gonna lie but I became super sad when I realized I wasn’t a man worth marrying
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Same. But it makes you change, and that change makes you happier, wife or no.
 
I think for a lot of people, and I’m not saying that this is true of the OP because he just made a couple posts and I don’t want to presume, but for a lot of young people…
  • they are lonely or sexually frustrated and they think “Find a Spouse” is the answer to both
    and/or
  • they don’t really know what they want to do with their life careerwise or education-wise or any other way, so “Find a Spouse” romance is more fun to think about than trying to actually figure out what else to do with their life.
My personal opinion is just what you said, HopkinsReb, I want to see a young guy getting his career, his life direction, his priorities other than just finding a spouse and having a family, squared away. I want to see that he’s preparing himself to support a family through getting his education or learning a trade that will provide job opportunities, and that he’s living his life in a goal-oriented, responsible way so he can take on the responsibilities of husband and father.
 
Yeah. I just wish I would’ve changed sooner. I’m 27 but I think I missed out on really good years that I could’ve met someone. Now things are harder and I’m still not where I need to be so I’m not looking at the moment.

OP that’s why it’s important to try to improve yourself now rather than later!
 
Le_Crouton said:
Step 1) be an attractive man. Or become attractive. Learn about working out. Maybe dress nicer. Hygiene.

Step 2) be devoutly Catholic. Learn more about your faith. Live it.

Step 3) have a good personality. Really care about others. Learn to see people differently. Love more.

Step 4) take care of your career. Get a job. Work hard.

Step 5) gain confidence. Hone self esteem. Build social skills.
Click to expand...
Bravo! This is the best advice. I’m on Catholic Match and so many men, of all ages, are wondering why they are alone but they never want to examine why THEY are alone if you know what I mean. Some women could use this advice as well, but I see so many men who are just not bringing their A-game and expect their dream wife. Or they are a “good Catholic” and expect that alone to get them the dream wife.
 
HopkinsReb said:
And most of all, be patient. You’re probably not going to meet your future wife in the next month.
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Agreed. And in my opinion OP, you shouldn’t try to see the women you meet as a potential future spouse. Just focus on making friends and get to know them with no more goal in mind then that.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
  • they are lonely or sexually frustrated and they think “Find a Spouse” is the answer to both
    and/or
  • they don’t really know what they want to do with their life careerwise or education-wise or any other way, so “Find a Spouse” romance is more fun to think about than trying to actually figure out what else to do with their life.
Click to expand...
You really couldn’t have hit the nail any more squarely on the head. This is exactly right.
Tis_Bearself said:
My personal opinion is just what you said, HopkinsReb, I want to see a young guy getting his career, his life direction, his priorities other than just finding a spouse and having a family, squared away. I want to see that he’s preparing himself to support a family through getting his education or learning a trade that will provide job opportunities, and that he’s living his life in a goal-oriented, responsible way so he can take on the responsibilities of husband and father.
Click to expand...
My wife and I met in undergrad at Ole Miss, and she did not like me at all. Then we randomly ran into each other when I was in grad school, and by that point I had become a radically different person. Turns out the problem wasn’t with women’s having bad taste. The problem was that I was neither what they wanted nor what they needed.
 
HopkinsReb said:
The problem was that I was neither what they wanted nor what they needed.
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I think if other single people could realize this and act on it they’d have an easier time finding someone.

Also yikes that hit me right in the feels
 
I’m 20 and in college and believe me, it’s hard to find someone haha. You should pray about it, see if the married life is your vocational calling. Attend daily mass and other religious functions, you will meet people there, that’s what I do.

Good luck!
 
Check on your diocese website; many dioceses offer weekend activities for youth (high school or college age). You can also get involved in NET Ministries or, when you go off to college, the Neumann Center.
 
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