How to Forgive and Re-Forgive and Re-Forgive?

[Julie4]

How does a Catholic forgive people who continually try to hurt him/her? I am in charge of my mother’s estate. She passed last August. My step-brothers and some of their children are mean and nasty. They try to create conflict and goad me. All they care about is our mother’s money. I legally nominated my husband to deal with my step-brothers and their children on all of the estate matters. That helps some. How do I forgive what they constantly do?

Thank you.

 

[CRV]

Keep praying the Our Father.

Forgive us our trespassers as we forgive those who trespass against us.

The forgiveness of our own sins is linked to us forgiving others. This is an act of the will and not dependent on feelings.

 

[Irishmom2]

This is an act of the will and not dependent on feelings.

Yes, exactly. Forgiveness is not something that just “happens,“ it is an action, or a decision we make. We can choose to forgive without waiting until we feel it.

 

[ZemD]

When you find yourself getting upset/frustrated by their behavior, say a quick prayer for them.

A priest once told me in confession to ask Jesus to “help me to be more forgiving”, and to include in my prayers those family members who hurt me over and over again and that I strongly disliked because of their behavior. So every night I start with"Jesus I love family member X,Y and Z, please bless them and keep them safe and healthy, ect"

 

[Dan_Defender]

People get greedy about money that is not theirs to begin with. Kindly remind your relatives that you were named the estate executor for a reason and they have no say in your decisions.

 

[PetraG]

Forgiving someone–letting go of ill will against them–is different than placing them in a position of trust.
While he was in Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, many began to believe in his name when they saw the signs he was doing. But Jesus would not trust himself to them because he knew them all, and did not need anyone to testify about human nature. He himself understood it well. Jn 2:23-25

Forgiving means to let go of ill will against those who have wronged you and hoping they will be every bit as much the beneficiaries of divine mercy as you are. You can pray that they will grow in virtue; that is not vindictive. Do your best to settle the estate as soon as possible and as fairly as possible, and when you are done be glad you are done. It is no sin to deny them chances to repeat their past offenses when you have no reason to believe they are interested in amendment.

Yes, exactly. Forgiveness is not something that just “happens,“ it is an action, or a decision we make. We can choose to forgive without waiting until we feel it.

Very true–and not “feeling OK about it” doesn’t mean you haven’t made an act of will to let go of ill will towards an offender. If it is a process, that is OK–and often necessary–provided you keep up with the intention. You shouldn’t think that because the hurt keeps coming back that you haven’t forgiven or aren’t forgiving. If you forgive whenever you feel the hurt and try to let go of ill will, that’s the act of will. The hurt sometimes just takes awhile to heal, particularly if you have reason to continue to feel unsafe around the offender.

 

[Servant31]

I really think this is a good POV.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I often pray the Litany of Humility and use 1 Corinthians chapter 13 as my examine of conscience.
Remembering how many times God has forgiven me helps as well!