How to help someone in need

[MedenAgan]

Without getting too specific, there is someone I happened to meet online, who was in the process of harming herself. She has attempted suicide on more than one occasion but I talked her out of it. She hasn’t had an easy life. Part of her problem was her association with some bad people, to say the least. I’ve tried to help her for a year now. She agreed to counseling at one point, which failed to produce results. Without getting into the details surrounding her past, I will say that it has corrupted her to an extent. it hasn’t been easy, it has been a huge burden on me, and often I question why I’m doing this, but I feel it’s the right thing to do. She has made a lot of progress.

My question is, how do I help someone return to their faith? Someone whose mind has been corrupted by some sadistic individuals. She kind of lost her way, her moral compass. I don’t want to be too preachy at this point, so something subtle would probably suffice. She’s beginning to open up to the idea again. I’m praying for her, but some resources/advice would be great.

Thank you.

 

[Viki63]

God bless you for your charity toward this woman.
My first thought is that if you met her online, you need to take care. I’m sure you’ve thought of this and taken precautions, but people can and do come up with all kinds of heart rending stories for various purposes online. Especially if there are any financial transactions involved, please check out the situation with care.

I would be up front with her, and suggest that she talk to a priest, and that going to church would help her a lot.
If one counselor couldn’t help her, perhaps another one might. It is asking a lot of you to take on the situation, if a counselor didn’t get anywhere. I would suggest another counselor, perhaps a specialist? A woman, most likely.

You might also suggest she pray the rosary. It’s amazing what Our Lady can do when we ask her help.

I’m not sure what you mean by corrupted – aren’t we all affected by sin? But make sure she knows that God can forgive any sin, and is ready and anxious to do so.

Without knowing more of her spiritual journey, that’s about all I can say. And continue to pray for her, of course.
God bless.

 

[Trishie]

God bless you for your generosity and courage!
I’m sure that pianistclare would be able to help if you send her a message. https://forums.catholic-questions.org/u/pianistclare/summary

I looked up a couple of links eg http://www.uscatholic.org/church/2010/06/you-can-go-home-again-catholics-return-church
http://beautifulcatholicfaith.blogspot.com.au/2008/11/prayer-for-lapsed-catholics-to-return.html

As you have been able to gain this person’s trust there is a chance you can gentle encourage her back to the Faith.
Faith and grace are gifts, and prayer is essential, but I’ don’t doubt that you pray very much for her

God bless you!

 

[andy4d]

I suggest simply being a friend to this young lady, sometimes that is all that you have to do. Show her that people of faith are not all judgemental and you can do a lot of good. Support her without trying to force her to go to church. I’ve found that there is a careful balance to be struck between encouraging and leaving people to their own devices.
Ultimately you know better than random people on the Internet how much to push and when to stop.

Never give up, you are doing a wonderful thing by helping this young lady.
Please be assured, you are both in my prayers

 

[anna]

You have taken a very fragile soul under your wing, and you are taken the right steps,and I agree you are doing the right thing.In talking her out of suicide you saved her. NEVER REGRET THAT. Whoever was in her life and corrupted her, sounds like they did alot of damage but it is reversable Gently guide her back to God, maybe start by passing a church and asking her to stop in with you. Yes prayers. talking to a priest will help, but she needs professional help, doctors and counselors trained for such matters. You have taken on alot but you need help in helping her. My prayers are with you and this precious soul . God Bless.

 

[Katie777]

O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, Implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence, I fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy hear and answer me, Amen

 

[MedenAgan]

Hi Viki, I understand your concern, and yes I’ve probably made a few mistakes in that area. To be honest, I would hate to see her in an even worse predicament. I’m having difficulties of my own, but I had an awakening a few years ago after a serious illness. I thank God every day that I wake up. I may never have children due to my illness, and I’ve come to believe that money isn’t a priority, certainly not in excess. If I can help just one person, someone who at one point completely turned her back to God, maybe I’ll have served some purpose in life.

Most people would probably disagree with how I’ve handled this, or question why I’ve put so much into this. I’m second guessing myself all the time, but ultimately I’m in God’s hands. Maybe I was naive at times, maybe I should have given it more thought considering my current situation, but if I can get by, I’m okay. I know she’s in need, her family is struggling, I’ve seen her problems first hand, the people who’ve harmed her. I know who they are, what they’ve done, how they’ve hurt her. My professional background has allowed me to do the fact checking.

You’re right, we’re all affected by sin, but these people were harming her when she was most vulnerable. It changed what she values. It broke her. These people are the worst of the worst.

The counseling was too secular, I think. I’m sure she wants some spiritual guidance, she was once very devout. But her past experiences made her lose faith and at times it’s been very hard to reason with her. She’s increasingly more receptive to church doctrine. She was manipulated for so long that she began to accept her sins as a part of life. She was manipulated into committing them during a period where she felt lost and alone. I think at this point, I have to be subtle, encouraging, and steadfast, and just maybe she will find solace speaking to her local priest. I just need a solid starting point, because it’s taken this long to get her out of that situation and prove to her that there is some good in this world.

I’ve struggled with my faith in the past, but even at rock bottom, I never rejected it, so this is all so new to me, but I’m trying to reinforce the fact that there is nothing more important than one’s faith. Nothing else in this world, especially material things, will save us when the inevitable approaches and our time is up.

Thank you all so much for your kind words, advice, and prayers. I will reread the thread tomorrow when I get some more time.