How to keep a secret without lying

[Artc]

Today, one of my coworkers asked me why it had been so long since I had eaten in the lunch room with everyone else. I told her it was because I’d been busy and was working through lunch hour.

Actually, I have terrible morning (or more like “all day”) sickness, and I can’t be around the smell of all their lunches without being sick. I just kind of blurted out what I said before I thought about it.

I’m not at the point where I want to tell my coworkers about my pregnancy. But I don’t want to lie. And I can’t just ignore the questions without coming off as rude. So I’m not sure if I should do anything to address the situation that happened today, or how to prevent something like this from happening in the future.

 

[FrenzyJen]

Did you do any work during your lunch hour? Then it wasn’t a lie. If you are actually busy throughout your day, Just say “I’ve been really busy”.

You could say that you needed to check on something. “something” could be checking the weather on your phone.

Even a shake of the head with an eye roll and saying “life” implies busy, but is actually very honest

 

[EasterJoy]

The trick to being coy is to act as if the question is not at all unwelcome–“oh, you missed me? How sweet of you to think of me!” and then to prattle on with more answer than she can possibly want because it isn’t the information she is prying for. You really do want to prattle, too. Any time anyone come prying at topics you do’t care to discuss, you need to really do want to bore them to tears with your reply. Go on and on about something barely related that you are “excited” about and keep bringing the topic back to that ad nauseam, but only when the topic turns to you. You want them to learn to avoid getting you started again. You want them to find you charming mostly when you talk about them, not you! “Oh, but I’m boring you! What have you been up to?” After all, maybe the questioner really just wants to be able to bend your ear, and does not suspect or care whether you are expecting. You can even start your answer with, “no, I wasn’t at lunch…did you have something you wanted to talk about?” If that was it, you’re free and clear and can save the whole coy thing for a real roving reporter.

I hope you’ve talked little about your your health up until now. If you’ve talked a lot, resolve to change. “Pregnant? Hey, I’ve decided I’m going to keep my health issues to myself at work. If I get pregnant, you won’t be guessing by the time I start talking about it at work! Nope, from now on, I’m talking about work at work. That’s the way it should be don’t you think? I mean, not that everyone else has to follow suit, but I think…”

I hope I don’t cost you any friends!

 

[Ophelia23]

You can also give a very honest explanation… something like “I’ve just been needing a little bit of extra time to myself for a little bit.” Whatever you come up with, congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

 

[maryjk]

Did you do any work during your lunch hour? Then it wasn’t a lie. If you are actually busy throughout your day, Just say “I’ve been really busy”.

You could say that you needed to check on something. “something” could be checking the weather on your phone.

Even a shake of the head with an eye roll and saying “life” implies busy, but is actually very honest

I love it.

Life. Yep, that is what has been keeping the OP from the lunch room.

 

[George_Stegmeir]

Give a real New York City reply, like: “Don’t Ask”, or," You don’t wanna know", with appropriate emphasis.

 

[Petaro]

The trick to being coy is to act as if the question is not at all unwelcome–“oh, you missed me? How sweet of you to think of me!” and then to prattle on with more answer than she can possibly want because it isn’t the information she is prying for. You really do want to prattle, too. Any time anyone come prying at topics you do’t care to discuss, you need to really do want to bore them to tears with your reply. Go on and on about something barely related that you are “excited” about and keep bringing the topic back to that ad nauseam, but only when the topic turns to you. You want them to learn to avoid getting you started again. You want them to find you charming mostly when you talk about them, not you! “Oh, but I’m boring you! What have you been up to?” After all, maybe the questioner really just wants to be able to bend your ear, and does not suspect or care whether you are expecting. You can even start your answer with, “no, I wasn’t at lunch…did you have something you wanted to talk about?” If that was it, you’re free and clear and can save the whole coy thing for a real roving reporter.

I hope you’ve talked little about your your health up until now. If you’ve talked a lot, resolve to change. “Pregnant? Hey, I’ve decided I’m going to keep my health issues to myself at work. If I get pregnant, you won’t be guessing by the time I start talking about it at work! Nope, from now on, I’m talking about work at work. That’s the way it should be don’t you think? I mean, not that everyone else has to follow suit, but I think…”

I hope I don’t cost you any friends!

You are so evil! Wise but evil! Love it.

 

[EasterJoy]

You are so evil! Wise but evil! Love it.

It is only evil if I use it to hide information they have a right to know. If they’re just being busybodies and I’m just playing the fox to their pack of hounds, there is nothing evil about it!

 

[ela2]

The trick to being coy is to act as if the question is not at all unwelcome–“oh, you missed me? How sweet of you to think of me!” and then to prattle on with more answer than she can possibly want because it isn’t the information she is prying for. You really do want to prattle, too. Any time anyone come prying at topics you do’t care to discuss, you need to really do want to bore them to tears with your reply. Go on and on about something barely related that you are “excited” about and keep bringing the topic back to that ad nauseam, but only when the topic turns to you. You want them to learn to avoid getting you started again. You want them to find you charming mostly when you talk about them, not you! “Oh, but I’m boring you! What have you been up to?” After all, maybe the questioner really just wants to be able to bend your ear, and does not suspect or care whether you are expecting. You can even start your answer with, “no, I wasn’t at lunch…did you have something you wanted to talk about?” If that was it, you’re free and clear and can save the whole coy thing for a real roving reporter.

I hope you’ve talked little about your your health up until now. If you’ve talked a lot, resolve to change. “Pregnant? Hey, I’ve decided I’m going to keep my health issues to myself at work. If I get pregnant, you won’t be guessing by the time I start talking about it at work! Nope, from now on, I’m talking about work at work. That’s the way it should be don’t you think? I mean, not that everyone else has to follow suit, but I think…”

I hope I don’t cost you any friends!

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Reminds me of the last time a coworker of mine took off during lunch to his house to change shirts, because we were working out in the rain (landscape development) and he still was not back after lunch was over. I did not want to rat him out but I did not want to lie. So when the foreman asked “Hey, where is (guys name here)”? I simply told the foreman “It is not my turn to watch him” And of course, that was no lie. I am not getting paid to be a snitch.

Sometimes you cant always be polite and keep a secret without lying. But, of course, nothing justifies a lie. It is a bad habit to get into. A good stock answer when someone asks why you did something, or are not doing something and it is none of their business is “I have my reasons” or “Meh… I don’t care to discuss it” Or you can go the slightly impolite route and just say “Why? Are you writing a book or something?”