How to politely ask for money that was owe

[tonie]

Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right forum but I was hoping I could get some help.
I loaned my friend a sum of money a few months back and he said he would pay me back in two weeks but it has been about four months now and I haven’t heard back from him. This is not the first time it had happened. It’s hard for me to say no but I guess I will have to do that from now on.

My question is, what’s the best/polite way to ask for my money back without offending him? I don’t want to lie. I don’t need the money but I would like my money back.

Thanks

 

[Jeanne_S]

Maybe approach him by saying, it must have slipped his mind the fact that he was to repay you the money loaned several months ago.If it was a small sum,meaning twenty buck or so,probably just let it go,othetwise remind him.

 

[You]

yes, if it was much more phone him up and say “could you throw that ol’ thing in the post”
meaning would he post that cheque out to you.

 

[PolarGuy]

I’ve put the bite on people for many years, when I was active in my own business, so I like to think I have something to offer.

When I would put the bite on people, I would often say something like “I’ve got some bills to pay these days, could you send me what you owe?” The important part is “I’ve got bills to pay.” Occasionally I’d say I had to make payroll (in a business setting). The key is to let the borrower know that you need this money, rather than being given because you’re rich and aren’t expecting payback. Maybe something like that would help?

 

[porthos11]

How about “Hey, when are you paying me the money you owe me?”

Straight and upfront. No need to beat around the bush.

That said, there’s usually a rule about lending money and friends. Don’t. Do not lend, do not borrow. That’s the surest way to end a friendship.

If your friend is in need, give. If he wants to borrow a thousand dollars, give him 200 or whatever you’re comfortable with or can afford, and write that off. It’s his. He will be grateful and you would have helped. But don’t lend.

 

[Jeanne_S]

I’ve put the bite on people for many years, when I was active in my own business, so I like to think I have something to offer.

When I would put the bite on people, I would often say something like “I’ve got some bills to pay these days, could you send me what you owe?” The important part is “I’ve got bills to pay.” Occasionally I’d say I had to make payroll (in a business setting). The key is to let the borrower know that you need this money, rather than being given because you’re rich and aren’t expecting payback. Maybe something like that would help?

This:thumbsup:

 

[Trident_H]

I was often on the collecting end of my business. Usually when I called a buddy up to get paid I’d say, “So man. I know you’d have paid me by now if you could. But I’d really appreciate at least what you can do. I mean I don’t want to leave you flat. But I’ve got people at my door too. When can I drop by to grab some? Take care man.”

Or something.

Peace tonie. And good luck.

-Trident

 

[PJH_74]

If your friend is in need, give. If he wants to borrow a thousand dollars, give him 200 or whatever you’re comfortable with or can afford, and write that off. It’s his. He will be grateful and you would have helped. But don’t lend.

I was looking for a post like this! Good advice. My version is that I give what I can afford to lose. If that person happens to pay me back, it’s a nice surprise and a gift of gratitude in return.

 

[tonie]

Thanks guys. The thing is I don’t need the money at the moment but I would like it back because its a large sum and my finance is not happy about it either. I’m not quite sure how I would approach this yet.

 

[PJH_74]

Thanks guys. The thing is I don’t need the money at the moment but I would like it back because its a large sum and my finance is not happy about it either. I’m not quite sure how I would approach this yet.

That’s the whole problem with your situation; you have become the master and your friend the slave. You also now have a a literal price placed on your relationship. I hope your friendship survives; especially that it doesn’t become more distant.

 

[Trident_H]

Thanks guys. The thing is I don’t need the money at the moment but I would like it back because its a large sum and my finance is not happy about it either. I’m not quite sure how I would approach this yet.

K try this instead.

“Hey buddy. You may have forgotten by now. But that money I loaned you? It was taken from my savings account. And I really should be putting it back in. Are you in any shape to pay it all back right now? Because if not how about we do some post-dated cheques or something. To break it apart a bit. And get this out of the way. Get things back in the right pocket. Thanks so much. You know I love you man. And I’m always here for you.”

Well you get the idea.

Peace.

-Trident

 

[Catholic1954]

Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right forum but I was hoping I could get some help.
I loaned my friend a sum of money a few months back and he said he would pay me back in two weeks but it has been about four months now and I haven’t heard back from him. This is not the first time it had happened. It’s hard for me to say no but I guess I will have to do that from now on.

My question is, what’s the best/polite way to ask for my money back without offending him? I don’t want to lie. I don’t need the money but I would like my money back.

Thanks

If this has happened before, then he is taking advantage of your generosity and you are letting him. Call him up and tell him you would like to be repaid as soon as possible. You don’t 'have to apologize and you don’t have to worry about offending him by asking for the money back. He owes you; you don’t owe him and it doesn’t matter if you need the money or not (thank goodness you don’t!) ;he should stand by his word and pay you back. Of course, you should never loan this guy money ever again, that’s what banks are for and if his credit is too lousy to get a bank loan, that’s his problem.

 

[tonie]

Thanks all. I’ve sent him a message last night and he said he would pay me back this weekend. He apologized that I had to ask but I honestly expected better from him because this isn’t the first time and there will not be a next time.

 

[minkymurph]

Thanks all. I’ve sent him a message last night and he said he would pay me back this weekend. He apologized that I had to ask but I honestly expected better from him because this isn’t the first time and there will not be a next time.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, ‘Neither a borrower nor a lender be.’ It’s a good policy.

Lending to a friend is fraught with difficulty. When lending to friends I follow a policy. That policy is I don’t really care whether I get it back or not. If I want the money back I am very cautious in terms of lending as experience has taught me never lend what you cannot afford to loose, or don’t want to loose in that you can’t let go of the loss.

That said, I learned this through experience. In my teenage years my friend and I lent each other everything; clothes, make up, CD’s, DVD’s. Our belongings constantly drifted between each other and we didn’t really mind. We knew who had it and we trusted each other that we could have our own stuff back anytime we wanted, or at least have use of it. We often lent each other money, but as we lent each other money so often there was a particular sum of money - £10.00 - that neither of us really knew who the £10.00 really belonged to. In scenarios like this lending is fine.

In my experience if you lend money to a friend and not only does not pay you back, but has not or would not lend you money there is no polite way to ask for the money back. A real friend would not repeatedly have to be asked. Even if they did not have the full amount they would make some effort and give you something.

If you find you are having to chase this friend for repayment, chances are they will not repay you. If a friend does not repay you then you have a call to make. You can take steps to recoup the money and loose a friend, or put it down to experience, let it go, and never lend them money again. Only you can tell if your friend is genuine in that they genuinely want to pay you back, or if they are taking you for a ride. If they are taking you for a ride you will not get your money back unless you can recoup it by legal means and that may well depend on the sum owed, and you will loose your friend. Only you know if their friendship is worth keeping.

 

[Sunbreak]

I don’t think you should worry about offending your friend. Just ask for the money in a straightforward way “Hey, when are you going to pay back the money I lent you?” If he says he doesn’t have it all then ask him to work out a payment plan with you and start paying something on it.

 

[hu324b]

I have wrote off thousands of dollars of debt ppl have owed me - when i forgave the debt I let go of my resentment towards the ppl - which was more important to me than recovering the money - as i was caring it around with me and it affects you mood like it or not.

If the friendship is valuable to you please consider writing it off

I will make it clear that these ppl will no longer be able to ask me for money - the answer will always be no - and I don’t have to say why - they know

I did manage to keep some friendships by doing this.

The number one rule - lending money to friends is a no no with out a contract - simply making a contract with an agreement to pay back by a certain date will cover it and if done right is legal and can be recovered in small claims court with the loser paying the court costs
If its a true friend who is not trying to take advantage they will sign the contract and pay you back accordingly .