How to praise the Lord for your sexuality?

[ForwardProgress]

From another thread:

**[Q] Well, I’m female and I had a problem with masturbation since my early childhood… Sometimes masturbation comes from very deeply rooted feelings way back… perhaps even a feeling of loneliness…

I struggled with this for a LONG time.

All bad habits generate such feelings of guilt (more so in a person of faith) that it becomes a vicious circle.

It’s important not to judge oneself and really understand that God forgives us, as many times as it is needed… that he loves us even when we sin… he knows we’re weak.
To let God be our judge for his justice is full of love.

MY breakthrough came from a very wise priest who told me to stop chastising myself for it but instead to start praising the Lord for the blessing of my sexuality. This WORKED. [/Q]
**
How does one praise the Lord for their sexuality? I had a priest tell me the same thing, and I wasn’t sure how it was going to help anything.

 

[duskyjewel]

Well, one thing I was told in Catholic elementary school was that you show your appreciation to God for His gifts by using them. So first step: enjoy some great sex with your husband!

Second, say a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for giving us this profound and bonding pleasure to share with each other.

Third, glory in the results. Yeah, we all have those days when we want to strangle our kids and wonder why we EVER procreated but giving thanks to God for your children is definitely a way to praise Him for your sexuality. I personally have thanked the Lord many times for the particular gift of being a woman, of being His intimate partner in the miracle of creating new human lives. I have thanked Him for the privilege of carrying these little people inside me, feeling them kick and grow, sharing that special bond with them that no one else gets to have, and for continuing that with the further wonderful gift that my body makes the perfect nourishment for them after birth, and so my body continues to participate in the miracle even after birth.

I think perhaps how this might help with masturbation issues is that you focus on how profound the gift really is, and perhaps after that are less inclined to “waste” it.

Hope that helps a little? Just my $0.02

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

Now, for those of us who are not married (and who have never been married, and are unlikely ever to be married), how do we thank God for a gift we can’t use?

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

 

[duskyjewel]

Now, for those of us who are not married (and who have never been married, and are unlikely ever to be married), how do we thank God for a gift we can’t use?

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

Have you ever seen the A&E miniseries “Brides of Christ?” It’s about an order of teaching sisters in Australia in the 1950s and 60s, and it is just so excellent for many reasons. One of the things that happens in that show is that one of the sisters is made very sad by entering menopause. As she explains to the younger nun, it’s not that she ever wanted to have any children, due to her chosen life, but she liked getting that little reminder every month that she COULD.

I admit, answering this question is hard for me, as I have been married since I was 21 and sexually active since 18. ( We all grow and do better over time…) But the idea that popped into my head is that you can still thank God for the fact that He made your body to have such life-giving power, even if you either choose not to use it or never get the chance. And perhaps when a celibate person feels those sex-drive related urges, it becomes a time of prayer, and during that they can thank God for making their bodies to participate in that beautiful union with another person, even though, again, it’s not being used for whatever reason.

That’s my very inept attempt to help answer that. Perhaps those of us on the board who actually are celibates could help answer this better? I know there is at least one young man discerning a call to the priesthood, and there may be some ladies considering or entering convents who could help out better with that question.

 

[LSK]

I made it a point to consecrate my sexuality to Jesus Christ, as a single Catholic woman. I have been a widow for 20 years and my child died at the same time my husband died. I decided that I wanted to be back in the Church because I fell in love again with the Blessed Sacrament. SO…anything that I did that keeps me from the Blessed Sacrament and receiving Holy Communion would be my struggle…so I consecrated myself to Jesus, through His mother Mary and offered my sexuality to Him to do with as HE wishes…

and since then I have not struggled as much with lonliness…

 

[Margita]

Now, for those of us who are not married (and who have never been married, and are unlikely ever to be married), how do we thank God for a gift we can’t use?

By “unlikely ever to be married” do you mean you do not want to marry, or you have little chance to do so (as far as you can tell )?

In both cases, esp. the first, you should reconsider what your sexuality means to you. What do you want to use it for, why, why not… Are you familiar with your options? Convent, marriage, “single blessedness” or misery without company?

I am 25 years old. I have never had a boyfriend, and I have little chance to find my partner in life in the near future, given the fact that I am ill and far from everything and everybody I used to know and am comfortable with in this world. But I know I do not want to be alone. I shudder at the thought that I may never marry, that I may have to go on as lonely as I am. The reason for this is that I know what being a woman means to me: although it is more of an emotional character. I know that I am capable of being feminine in a very old-fashioned way, I am able to give love, to be supportive, understanding, and sympathetic. I know I could make a good wife. Perhaps even a good mother, although sometimes I feel like a child myself. My way of praising God for my sexuality would be to thank him for letting me know this, and praying that He would give me a chance to try the abilities he has given me.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

But the idea that popped into my head is that you can still thank God for the fact that He made your body to have such life-giving power, even if you either choose not to use it or never get the chance. And perhaps when a celibate person feels those sex-drive related urges, it becomes a time of prayer, and during that they can thank God for making their bodies to participate in that beautiful union with another person, even though, again, it’s not being used for whatever reason.

Thank you for your insights; I hadn’t thought about it that way.

Margita:

By “unlikely ever to be married” do you mean you do not want to marry, or you have little chance to do so (as far as you can tell )?

Little chance – I’m just about grandma-aged (and too old to have children), never-married, and not exactly a raving beauty.

Margita:

In both cases, esp. the first, you should reconsider what your sexuality means to you. What do you want to use it for, why, why not… Are you familiar with your options? Convent, marriage, “single blessedness” or misery without company?

At this point, I would say my options are either “single blessedness” or “misery without company”, and the first sounds a whole lot better than the second! Hence, the search for a way to praise the Lord for a gift I can’t use (I remember an earlier thread asking if sexuality wasn’t a curse rather than a blessing, if you were never going to be married. Unfortunately, that thread got badly hijacked by posters who shifted the focus to married people, so no answer was forthcoming).

One thing I can say from experience, is that life goes on, even if you never marry. It’s not always easy, and it can be lonely – no husband, no children or grandchildren, and in my case, no nieces or nephews. Add to that the fact that I have to pay all the bills, not just 50% of them, so I have to work full-time at a serious job, and do all the household stuff, inside and outside, so my free time can be severely limited (and it all comes at odd hours, like now – 4:40 AM) – but God gives me the strength!

LSK:

I made it a point to consecrate my sexuality to Jesus Christ, as a single Catholic woman. I have been a widow for 20 years and my child died at the same time my husband died. I decided that I wanted to be back in the Church because I fell in love again with the Blessed Sacrament. SO…anything that I did that keeps me from the Blessed Sacrament and receiving Holy Communion would be my struggle…so I consecrated myself to Jesus, through His mother Mary and offered my sexuality to Him to do with as HE wishes…

This also sounds like an excellent option.

I would be interested in hearing more from additional people who are living a celibate life, especially from those who didn’t choose it.

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

 

[Michael_s_Sword]

Now, for those of us who are not married (and who have never been married, and are unlikely ever to be married), how do we thank God for a gift we can’t use?

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

I hope you don’t mind if a man puts his two cents in here…

You have to remember that your sexuality is more than just sex. You should revel in the fact that God made you a woman. Enjoy the many gifts that come from being a woman that have nothing to do with being a wife and mother.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

I hope you don’t mind if a man puts his two cents in here…

You have to remember that your sexuality is more than just sex. You should revel in the fact that God made you a woman. Enjoy the many gifts that come from being a woman that have nothing to do with being a wife and mother.

I certainly don’t mind hearing from the guys!

I’m still trying to figure out what those gifts are that come from being a woman, especially when I sort of have to lead a woman’s version of a “man’s life”. Just as one example, I don’t get to be nurturing to anyone – as I’ve already explained, practically all my free time is during hours that the rest of the world (in this time zone, at least) sleeps, so it’s not as if I can visit people in nursing homes or cuddle babies at the hospital.

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

 

[LilyM]

Celibate here too.

I don’t concentrate so much on sexuality specifically. But I do regularly thank God for the fact that I have a pretty healthy and well-functioning body in all respects, especially when there are so many around us having all sorts of horrendous health problems.

And I ask his help to treat it as it deserves, as his gift and worktool and the Holy Spirit’s temple.

 

[LSK]

I’m still trying to figure out what those gifts are that come from being a woman, especially when I sort of have to lead a woman’s version of a “man’s life”. Just as one example, I don’t get to be nurturing to anyone – as I’ve already explained, practically all my free time is during hours that the rest of the world (in this time zone, at least) sleeps, so it’s not as if I can visit people in nursing homes or cuddle babies at the hospital.

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

No, but you can deepen your prayer life so that you are nurturing people through that particular charism. Perhaps you could find a specific devotion, or cause, to devote your prayer. Your gifts of spiritual motherhood would be put to very good use.

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

No, but you can deepen your prayer life so that you are nurturing people through that particular charism. Perhaps you could find a specific devotion, or cause, to devote your prayer. Your gifts of spiritual motherhood would be put to very good use.

Thank you for bringing up (and reminding me of) the value of prayer. I think we can all sometimes get caught up in the feeling we should be “doing something”, momentarily forgetting that praying is “doing something”.

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

 

[LSK]

Thank you for bringing up (and reminding me of) the value of prayer. I think we can all sometimes get caught up in the feeling we should be “doing something”, momentarily forgetting that praying is “doing something”.

Mudgie-in-training and freelance sparkle/coffee grinds sprinkler

you betcha and you are welcome…I can forget myself and I have really tried hard to deepen my prayer life these past years…but sometimes, because of the culture that surrounds us, we can forget that the action of prayer is real, substantial and very powerful.