How to reassure my wife another child would be ok

  • Thread starter Thread starter Electricaleng
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without said:
Do you want her to tubal ligation because Catholic or because you want to have another child?

If just for another child you can adopt, and by doing so do a really great thing for another human being…
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Yes it is. What a shame that it can be incredibly expensive…
 
without said:
If you want a perfect newborn baby it can be extremely expensive… if you adopt a child in need often there is support from the state in addition to the tax breaks.

adoptuskids.org
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Sadly this is commonly thrown around as an easy fix when it is not. Government involvement in adoptions has only made it harder. Not to mention the OP has children already in the home, that needs to be considered when bringing in a troubled or ill child. The real cost can be in sheer time and care of the child, and if the OP really cites 5000 dollars as a financial concern you can bet your sweet bippy that adoption is out of the question if even if it is “in need” children. There are couples who absolutely should do as you suggest, the OP just is probably not a prime candidate for that.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Sadly this is commonly thrown around as an easy fix when it is not. Government involvement in adoptions has only made it harder. Not to mention the OP has children already in the home, that needs to be considered when bringing in a troubled or ill child. The real cost can be in sheer time and care of the child, and if the OP really cites 5000 dollars as a financial concern you can bet your sweet bippy that adoption is out of the question if even if it is “in need” children. There are couples who absolutely should do as you suggest, the OP just is probably not a prime candidate for that.
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There’s also the issue that a special needs child is going to be more expensive than an average child, especially in the early years when average children are relatively inexpensive.

One has to be prepared to spend a lot of money and time on a special needs child.
 
Xantippe said:
There’s also the issue that a special needs child is going to be more expensive than an average child, especially in the early years when average children are relatively inexpensive.

One has to be prepared to spend a lot of money and time on a special needs child.
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Yes.

This is something that we as Catholics need to work to change. Adoption of crisis pregnancy babies and older children really needs to be streamlined.
 
My wife and I would be in no possition to have an older troubled or special needs child in our home at this time. I mean if she gave birth to a special needs child we would obviously make it work. Our children express wanting a baby around every time they see them around town or on tv. My wife even has names she picked if it worked out. The big thing is on days that are stressful she has doubts and I am just trying the best I can to reassure her that God will take care of us and we can do this.

I don’t mean to sound selfish about not adopting. it just wouldn’t work for us and if the surgury doesn’t work out we would just go on happy with all we have.
 
Electricaleng, I am very hesitant to advise you since we do not know of your wife’s views on this issue. It would be better if she could post a thread herself is she wants people’s thoughts.

Thus, my advise is similar to that of others - you and your wife need to work through this together. If you and any doctors involved can’t reasure her, then I don’t think you should bring in outside opinions to potentially bring pressure on her.
 
underacloud said:
Electricaleng, I am very hesitant to advise you since we do not know of your wife’s views on this issue. It would be better if she could post a thread herself is she wants people’s thoughts.

Thus, my advise is similar to that of others - you and your wife need to work through this together. If you and any doctors involved can’t reasure her, then I don’t think you should bring in outside opinions to potentially bring pressure on her.
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This. 👍
 
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