How to register mixed (Lutheran/Catholic) marriage?

[Zorab]

My son, a Catholic, got married in the Lutheran church in a small town in Norway (Europe). He came to the country of his future wife without knowledge of the language and local customs.
He approached the nearest (100 km.away) Catholic priest asking if the priest could be present during the wedding ceremony. Unfortunately the priest had a busy schedule during St.Olav’s weekend celebrations and wasn’t able to be present.There was no further contact with the priest and the marriage was held in the Lutheran Church. One year later a child was born and both parents (Catholic and Lutheran) would like to baptize the child in the Catholic Church when on vacation in the USA during Christmas.
Our parish priest in the USA requests permission from the parish in Norway to baptize the child here. In view of the above it poses
a problem.
Any suggestions how to handle this problem would be appreciated.

Zorab

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Zorab:

My son, a Catholic, got married in the Lutheran church in a small town in Norway (Europe). He came to the country of his future wife without knowledge of the language and local customs.
He approached the nearest (100 km.away) Catholic priest asking if the priest could be present during the wedding ceremony. Unfortunately the priest had a busy schedule during St.Olav’s weekend celebrations and wasn’t able to be present.There was no further contact with the priest and the marriage was held in the Lutheran Church. One year later a child was born and both parents (Catholic and Lutheran) would like to baptize the child in the Catholic Church when on vacation in the USA during Christmas.
Our parish priest in the USA requests permission from the parish in Norway to baptize the child here. In view of the above it poses
a problem.
Any suggestions how to handle this problem would be appreciated.

Zorab

It is a problem because you parish priest is NOT your sons Pastor and has no jurisdiction to Baptized a child who is not a member of his parish. Your son needs to contact his pastor and speak with him. He will probably need to have his Marriage convalidated first. He will need to bring with him a letter authorizing your Pastor to Baptize the child. Personally I think that the child should be Baptized in his parish. What if something happens to the child on the trip over?

 

[Zorab]

All Catholic members of my son’s family including the potential godparents are here in the USA. My son does not think that anybody has to validate his marriage to his wife that he loves and respect dearly. His marriage is valid.
Validation is the problem, registration would be easier, I think.
Norway is predominantly Lutheran. It is hard, very hard, to find a Catholic parish in a remote locations in Norway.
I am afraid, that we’ll be losing him religiously, if we won’t help.
His parish priest was not symapthetic, or did not understand his problem in first place (before marriage).
There is the newborn now, that should be addressed primarily, and given the chance to start his life in the Roman Catholic faith, especially that it is the desire of both his parents (Catholic and Lutheran).

Zorab

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Zorab:

All Catholic members of my son’s family including the potential godparents are here in the USA. My son does not think that anybody has to validate his marriage to his wife that he loves and respect dearly. His marriage is valid.
Validation is the problem, registration would be easier, I think.
Norway is predominantly Lutheran. It is hard, very hard, to find a Catholic parish in a remote locations in Norway.
I am afraid, that we’ll be losing him religiously, if we won’t help.
His parish priest was not symapthetic, or did not understand his problem in first place (before marriage).
There is the newborn now, that should be addressed primarily, and given the chance to start his life in the Roman Catholic faith, especially that it is the desire of both his parents (Catholic and Lutheran).

Zorab

He is Catholic and therefore was bound to follow Canon Law in regards to the Sacrament of Marriage. Which required a specific amount of pre-notification determined by his Bishop, Pre-Marriage preparation to be completed as prescribed. Permission of the Bishop to Marry a non-Catholic and Dispensations from the Bishop to Marry in another church without a Catholic priest. Are all thing that need to be worked out before Convalidation can take place.

He has to start with his pastor and follow the path. It’s not something that will take place over night. Assuming he attends Mass every Sunday his pastor should know him as a registered member of his parish.

 

[genealogist]

Does he go to Mass weekly? If not is there any chance that he will move to a part of Norway where there is a Catholic church that he and the child could actually practice the faith? I don’t mean to be flip but I think you have already lost him.

Your wrote, “There was no further contact with the priest and the marriage was held in the Lutheran Church. One year later a child was born and both parents (Catholic and Lutheran) would like to baptize the child in the Catholic Church when on vacation in the USA during Christmas.”

So in over a year your son has been unable to go to Mass. 100km is only about 50-70 miles so they could make an evening or morning jaunt into the city catch a show, eat out and attend Mass. It is not easy but your son is apparently making no effort whatsoever to attend the Catholic parish. Why on earth would a practicing Catholic put himself so far away from the fellowship of other Catholics to be godparents etc. I know it breaks your heart but does he want the baby to be Catholic or do you?

 

[Zorab]

Dear Genealogist,

No, it does not break my heart what you’ve been saying, but it makes me wonder how insensitive, ignorant, and closed-minded a person could be. If you cannot give a constructive advice wouldn’t it be better to keep silent, or even better pray for a noble cause of your choice.
God works in mysterious ways, after all.

Zorab

 

[genealogist]

Zorab,
I hardly think calling a lapsed Catholic a lapsed Catholic is being “insensitive, ignorant, and closed-minded a person”.

Here is some constructive advice. Pray for your son and his family. By your telling of the facts he does not consider a marriage outside the canons of the Church invalid. He has moved to a very remote area far away from a Catholic church and priest. It is nice that he still has the social attatchment to the Church but he is not a member of your parish and it does matter where he baptizes his child.

I am married to a nominal Presbyterian and we have baptized our children at the Catholic university parish where we married. I have gotten permission from my pastor each time. I have had to fight and antagonize my wife on more than one occasion to defend the teachings of the Church. Maybe I am a bit too jaded to help you.

In closing you should send him some Catholic Answers materials. Rules are rules and we sometimes have to follow them even when we don’t understand or like it. How sad that we may “be losing him religiously, if we won’t help”. So basically if the Church can’t accommodate him it is her fault and of course he is totally innocent. I may be ignorant and insensitive but your son sounds immature and unrealistic.

Has anyone in the US tried to contact the nearest Norwegian priest to your son? Maybe an e-mail to him will find a good way to motivate him to practice the faith.