How to search for a mate

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billcu1

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I know in searching for a mate you must work at it. But it’s not my descision. I leave that to God’s will. So how do you know God’s will? Prudence, temperance? How should one pray for this insight? By seeking a certain virtue?
 
Hello.

There’re 2 books, The ABC’s of Choosing a Good Wife/Husband - one for each gender at Steve Wood’s website. They are solid, Catholic books.

…my :twocents:
 
billcu1 said:
I know in searching for a mate you must work at it. But it’s not my descision. I leave that to God’s will. So how do you know God’s will? Prudence, temperance? How should one pray for this insight? By seeking a certain virtue?
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Our vocation is not our decision. Be open to God’s will, pray to discern, know, and accept your vocation, whatever it may be - especially to Our Lady - and don’t “work at it”, just be patient.
 
I am not sure working and searching will get one a good mate. People who are actively searching, at least those I have personally observed, seem to get frustrated and then a bit desperate. After that they “settle” for someone that also wants to be married and mostly meets their requirements. I’ve seen too many marriages fail because of “settling” in desperation.

I prefer the get out there and meet people, have a life, eventually you’ll find someone method. Between friends, family, church, groups, clubs, entertainment events etc. you’re bound to find someone who you naturally react to and who also meets your requirements in a mate.

How do you know? You just feel it in your heart, head, body and soul. IMHO, part of it is chemical reaction. Good old fashioned attraction. Part of is it compatible personalities and part of it is compatible ideals and views on the practicalities like financial philosophies, political beliefs, etc.

Pray, live an active and full life open to meeting people and wait.
 
R_C said:
Our vocation is not our decision. Be open to God’s will, pray to discern, know, and accept your vocation, whatever it may be - especially to Our Lady - and don’t “work at it”, just be patient.
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Is it God’s mercy that leads us to someone?
 
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