How to speak with practicing homosexuals

[Shana]

I have a question. Hypothetically, if a gay friend, aquaintance or whoever said something like…I got a boyfriend!! (and he’s a guy), what to you say or how should you handle that situation with grace. Like, if they expect you to be happy for them or approve of their relationship how do you let them know that you respect and love them but at the same time don’t approve of their homosexaul behavior? Especially if it comes up on a group setting or if another person besides them is present in the conversation?

Thanks.

 

[Danny_OC]

I find myself in similar situations. Make sure you do not act in such a way as to commend his behavior. Do not congratulate him. I’m afraid there’s no easy way out of things like this, as anything but a congratulatory response may appear “odd” in his eyes. You could do something like ask him a couple questions about this new person, for instance

“I got a new boyfriend!”

“what’s his name?”

“john”

“where does he live?”

etc…

Though, if you can find it in you, I’d always recommend the more difficult path, where you respond with something more like “I think that kind of behavior is extremely sinful, and you can’t expect me to look upon it fondly” Doing this will put you at odds with much of society (in some countries it is even now considered a hate crime), but this is indeed what Jesus promises to his followers.

 

[LilyM]

I have a question. Hypothetically, if a gay friend, aquaintance or whoever said something like…I got a boyfriend!! (and he’s a guy), what to you say or how should you handle that situation with grace. Like, if they expect you to be happy for them or approve of their relationship how do you let them know that you respect and love them but at the same time don’t approve of their homosexaul behavior? Especially if it comes up on a group setting or if another person besides them is present in the conversation?

Thanks.

With difficulty. I don’t hide from my gay friends that I am a practicing Catholic who doesn’t condone homosexual activity as per Church teaching, but it’s not something I discuss with them a great deal - they’re not religious in the first place, so anything I could try to say is unlikely to resonate with them at this point.

Being VERY good friends I can make the occasional joke like calling them ‘godless heathens’, but beyond making my beliefs known there isn’t really much else I can do with any adult unless they express an interest in discussing further.

 

[blessedtoo]

I agree with Lily. And interestingly enough, if you really LIVE your faith by example, people generally (all people, not just homosexuals) choose to refrain from discussing their private sexual experiences with you. They either respect your beliefs and so choose not to make you uncomfortable or they fear rebuke. Either way, you are spared having to confront the very awkward situation of TMI.