How to talk to a freind about not leaving the church

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KatMarie

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Hello,
I’m new to posting in the Forums, as I far more enjoy just reading them. How ever I am need of some advice.

I have a dear friend back in the states Telling me she is leaving the catholic church, the whole reason she’s going over there is that she thinks that the Pentecostals have a livelier spiritual life. She feels the need to be “fed” more. She doesn’t want her kids to grow up not being excited about God. The Pentecostals are vibrant. The Catholic Church out here is “cold” and “dead.”
Now I have talked to her about the REAL Presents i n the Eucharist. But she says that raising her kids to love Jesus is more important to her than the Eucharist. So any advice would be great.

Also Please keep her and her family in your prays!

The peace of Christ be with you always

KatMaria
 
Tell her to come to catholic .com and get into this forum. She needs to activate her own faith. Could be God is calling her to bring life into her parish, if so she’d be leaving Gods Church and His plan for another.
 
Maybe she can check out some contemporary LifeTeen style Masses. I know many on this forum dislike them, but they seem to fullfill the need some have for a uplifting type worship experience. Also, there are Charismatic Catholic churches, and I assume they are more expressive in their worship, although I’ve never experienced it myself.
 
Tell her to come to catholic .com and get into this forum. She needs to activate her own faith. Could be God is calling her to bring life into her parish, if so she’d be leaving Gods Church and His plan for another.
 
This notion of ‘feeling excited’ about the Mass is a dangerous and common one. I would ask her what will happen when this Pentecostal church doesn’t excite her, or her children, anymore. Move on to the next one? That, unfortunately, happens very often. Many of our Evangelical and Protestant brothers and sisters change churches like they change the oil in their car.

Many compare, rightly so, the relationship with the Church as a marriage. Would she leave her husband when the marriage is less exciting? Would her kids want to leave the family when dad’s not so much fun anymore? Of course not.

The Eucharist was a great point to make to her. If she loves Jesus, she should be where He is truly and really present. If she loves her husband, she’ll be at home with him. Not over at some friends house where they can just talk about him.

Try that comparison…and of course, pray. The Holy Spirit moves hearts, we can do nothing without Him!

:blessyou:
 
Thank you all for you help.

Just a few point to add to my post she has small children so a Teen Mass would not work. She and her husband have 4 small children, He goes to Mass Saturday night and then Sunday mornings with he as he feels he need to support her.
Again Thank you for all your help!

In the Peace of Christ
KatMarie
 
You can always ask her how she will react to the Lord’s questions when she faces Him in judgment.

He could probably ask several questions like:

So why did you leave the truth?
I offered you my body, blood, soul and divinity in the Eucharist. How could you find a livelier congregation and an enthusiastic pastor more attractive than the Eucharist?
Do you really believe that the quiet reverence shown by catholics, that worship me in awe and loving submission as they participate in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass and wait with great hunger to receive me at communion, is dead?

Anyway, you get the idea. Set up your own list based on your knowledge of your friend. She really needs to understand what she’s giving up, and what she is depriving her children of.
 
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KatMarie:
I have a dear friend back in the states Telling me she is leaving the catholic church, the whole reason she’s going over there is that she thinks that the Pentecostals have a livelier spiritual life. She feels the need to be “fed” more. She doesn’t want her kids to grow up not being excited about God. The Pentecostals are vibrant. The Catholic Church out here is “cold” and “dead.” Now I have talked to her about the REAL Presents in the Eucharist. But she says that raising her kids to love Jesus is more important to her than the Eucharist. So any advice would be great.
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She sounds like a great Mom who wants the best for her children! Thanks be to God for Mom’s like that!

It also sounds like she doesn’t have good understanding of the Church’s teachings on the Eucharist. Many people who have left the Church and then ‘re-verted’ back have often made comments about the Eucharist bringing them back, and that if they would have understood the teaching of the Eucharist, they would have never left to begin with.

I attended bible study called “The Great Adventure” that Jeff Cavins (host of Morning Air) did. He has a talk on CD called ** “# 1 Catholic Eating Disorder- I’m Not Being Fed**” which is VERY, VERY GOOD! I bought it after the the conference, and can’t say enough good things about it. He gives great answers full of reason and Scripture to the complaints (not being ‘fed’, not being ‘lively enough’ etc) that your friend has. I think that this cd would do wonders for your friend. Or…maybe she could read **“The Lambs Supper” ** by Scott Hahn. Maybe after reading that, Mass won’t seem so ‘cold and dead’, and she will have a much greater respect for everything. The Lambs Supper helped me understand Mass alot better two years ago when I entered into the Church.

I must admit, that I don’t like it when people sound like they go to church on Sunday and talk about how dull and boring it is. Mass is not about God entertaining us, but for us to Worship God. So much of the Mass is straight out of the Bible. How can the Word of God (Heb 4:12) be ‘cold and dead’ ? SORRY about the tangent–

Hope this helps some

Lance
 
Encourage her to get a spiritual director before she makes this change. Or even to go on a retreat. Or if your friend is young enough to attend a Theology on Tap program within her diocese, perhaps this will be a way to spark her faith life. Better yet, offer to go with her on retreat or join an bible study. Whatever it takes to keep her motivated, may also have resounding effects on your own faith.Most of all, tell her that you are praying for her to remain in the church as a Catholic. Prayer moves mountains, perhaps it will move her as well! Good luck and God bless you.
 
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stbruno:
Encourage her to get a spiritual director before she makes this change. Or even to go on a retreat. Or if your friend is young enough to attend a Theology on Tap program within her diocese, perhaps this will be a way to spark her faith life. Better yet, offer to go with her on retreat or join an bible study. Whatever it takes to keep her motivated, may also have resounding effects on your own faith.Most of all, tell her that you are praying for her to remain in the church as a Catholic. Prayer moves mountains, perhaps it will move her as well! Good luck and God bless you.
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I would love to be able to go with her but she is in the states and I’m In Guam…

Thank you for your advice… http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon7.gif

In the peace and love of Christ
Kat
 
No one has mentioned it yet, Suprised by Truth by Patrick Madrid, explains the difference between doctrines, anything by Scott Hahn, Catholicism and Fundalmentalism by Karl Keating, the list goes on. If Catholic Answers isn’t on in her area she can listen to it online. She wants to leave because she does not know her faith, if she did she would never leave. I use to feel the same way, learning my faith and about the authority of the church, apostolic succession, etc, changed my life. Challenge her to do this before she does anything drastic.

God bless, chris
 
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KatMarie:
Thank you all for you help.

Just a few point to add to my post she has small children so a Teen Mass would not work. She and her husband have 4 small children, He goes to Mass Saturday night and then Sunday mornings with he as he feels he need to support her.
Again Thank you for all your help!

In the Peace of Christ
KatMarie
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There is a wonderful Catholic Family ministry called Couples for Christ. You might want to recommend them to your friend. You can check them out at www.cfcpacific.com (which is our CFC-Guam website)

God Bless,
Davis Gray
CFC-Chicago
 
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