How to talk to a friend about gay marriage?

[Obsidion]

Today I was talking with one of my good friends from college. We’re both taking public speaking for one of our classes, and our last speech we’re doing is a persuasive speech. My friend asked me today what I was going to do mine on, and I told her I didn’t know yet. She then proceeded to tell me that she’s probably going to do her speech on gay marriage. She continued to tell me that she wanted to choose it because it’s a controversial topic in today’s world, and her teacher is forcing them to pick something controversial (she has a different professor than me BTW). I then told her how my professor isn’t requiring that we talk about something controversial, and for that reason I’m thinking about picking something more neutral. I said how I didn’t want to argue with the whole class about a touchy topic, and how I just felt more comfortable presenting on something not so controversial. After that, we switched topics and didn’t discuss it any further.

The reason I post this is because I’m now nervous how to respond to me friend if she brings it up again. To be honest, I don’t know whether she’s for or against gay marriage, but I’ve known her for a little over a year, and she’s pretty liberal about a lot of stuff. I’m guessing with a 99% certainty that her position on gay marriage is no different. So if she states her position, should I tell her how I feel? I obviously don’t want to get into an argument, but I feel guilty already for how I responded today. I feel like I came across as cowardly, and feel like maybe I should have told her my opinion on it rather than backing down. I just really didn’t want to get into an argument about it, as she’s my friend and she’s not that religious, so I don’t think she’d get where I’m coming from. I didn’t say that I agree with gay marriage (because obviously I don’t), and she never stated her position either technically, but I’m pretty sure I know what side she belongs to.

What should I do in this situation?

 

[Ositokc]

Since you’re both good friends, you should both be able to respect each other’s opinions, even if though are different. I would not recommend either of you getting into a huge debate though, as during the Thanksgiving holiday especially, religion and politics should be off the talk about list. Good luck.

 

[TheFraggle]

I think that if she’s a true friend, you should be allowed to be yourself, and say what you think.

 

[dmar198]

Today I was talking with one of my good friends from college. We’re both taking public speaking for one of our classes, and our last speech we’re doing is a persuasive speech. My friend asked me today what I was going to do mine on, and I told her I didn’t know yet. She then proceeded to tell me that she’s probably going to do her speech on gay marriage. She continued to tell me that she wanted to choose it because it’s a controversial topic in today’s world, and her teacher is forcing them to pick something controversial (she has a different professor than me BTW). I then told her how my professor isn’t requiring that we talk about something controversial, and for that reason I’m thinking about picking something more neutral. I said how I didn’t want to argue with the whole class about a touchy topic, and how I just felt more comfortable presenting on something not so controversial. After that, we switched topics and didn’t discuss it any further.

The reason I post this is because I’m now nervous how to respond to me friend if she brings it up again. To be honest, I don’t know whether she’s for or against gay marriage, but I’ve known her for a little over a year, and she’s pretty liberal about a lot of stuff. I’m guessing with a 99% certainty that her position on gay marriage is no different. So if she states her position, should I tell her how I feel? I obviously don’t want to get into an argument, but I feel guilty already for how I responded today. I feel like I came across as cowardly, and feel like maybe I should have told her my opinion on it rather than backing down. I just really didn’t want to get into an argument about it, as she’s my friend and she’s not that religious, so I don’t think she’d get where I’m coming from. I didn’t say that I agree with gay marriage (because obviously I don’t), and she never stated her position either technically, but I’m pretty sure I know what side she belongs to.

What should I do in this situation?

My favorite way to bring up touchy topics is to give someone a DVD or a CD about it. Get a DVD about the Catholic teaching on homosexuality that presents the issue well, and tell her, “I thought this was interesting, and since you’re doing a persuasive speech on this (or, since you just recently did one), I thought you might like it to. Let me know what you think.” Then you just have to wait for her response, if she chooses to give one. Do you think that’s a good idea?

If you like my idea, two videos you might want to try are: Desire of the Everlasting Hills and The Third Way. Both are excellent Catholic videos that interview Catholics with same-sex attraction as they defend the Church’s teaching on same-sex issues and explain how they have found fulfillment in the Church. You could burn it to a DVD or send her a link if you think she might be receptive. And, at least for me, it’s easier to let experts talk about this stuff for you than to try to do it yourself.