How to talk to my dad

  • Thread starter Thread starter Kaily
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

Kaily

Guest
Dear friends,

I had a conversation with my dad last weekend and he is very anti catholic, he’s lutheran, but doesn’t do much with his faith at all. He is very proud. Just so you know a little about him he divorced my mom 10 years ago almost and married the woman he had an affair with.

Well, after we found God we started sharing our faith with him and we converted to the Catholic faith 3years ago, he then started trying different churches and he and his wife tried a Catholic church, they liked it and thought about going(even though he doesn’t agree with almost everything they teach), so he talked to a priest and after that he decided he will NEVER go to a Catholic church. I’m assuming the priest told them they could not recieve Communion, etc… etc…

So now he is going to a lutheran church again. Anyway, we were talking last weekend and we were talking about the Catholic church and I talked about the Holy Eucharist, infallibility of the pope, etc well…he doesn’t agree with any of it then he started saying the Catholic Church is more focused on doctrine than on love, and that he should be able to recieve communion there even though he doesn’t believe in the Real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, well he believes He’s present after he recieves communion,but he doesn’t believe in Transubstantiation. How do I talk to him, sorry this is so long. I know I have to share the faith in Love and sometimes I let my emotions get in the way and I get frustrated and I need to learn a lot more about my faith. Are there books that would help me on this. I have been praying and sacrificing for him and will continue to do so.

Any advice would be helpful,

Blessings,
Kaily
 
40.png
Kaily:
Dear friends,

I had a conversation with my dad last weekend and he is very anti catholic, he’s lutheran, but doesn’t do much with his faith at all. He is very proud. Just so you know a little about him he divorced my mom 10 years ago almost and married the woman he had an affair with.

Well, after we found God we started sharing our faith with him and we converted to the Catholic faith 3years ago, he then started trying different churches and he and his wife tried a Catholic church, they liked it and thought about going(even though he doesn’t agree with almost everything they teach), so he talked to a priest and after that he decided he will NEVER go to a Catholic church. I’m assuming the priest told them they could not recieve Communion, etc… etc…

So now he is going to a lutheran church again. Anyway, we were talking last weekend and we were talking about the Catholic church and I talked about the Holy Eucharist, infallibility of the pope, etc well…he doesn’t agree with any of it then he started saying the Catholic Church is more focused on doctrine than on love, and that he should be able to recieve communion there even though he doesn’t believe in the Real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, well he believes He’s present after he recieves communion,but he doesn’t believe in Transubstantiation. How do I talk to him, sorry this is so long. I know I have to share the faith in Love and sometimes I let my emotions get in the way and I get frustrated and I need to learn a lot more about my faith. Are there books that would help me on this. I have been praying and sacrificing for him and will continue to do so.

Any advice would be helpful,

Blessings,
Kaily
Click to expand...
probaby the best you can do is to educate yourself about your faith, as best you can, but PRACTICE it as best you can… be a becon of light for him to see in the darkness, and who know’s, he will probably follow it… good luck and may the good Lord love and keep you… 👍
 
Here is a link to the relevant paragraph in the CCC about Protestants receiving the Eucharist: #1400.
 
First he’s got to be open minded or all the books in the world won’t help him. The fact that he doesn’t attend his own church but feels qualified to pass judgment on other churches tells me he is just a-religious and anti-catholic. Also, a lot of people don’t like their kids contradicting them, even if the kids might be right. In other words, your father seems to have bigger issues than theological differences.

Space Ghost had good advice, but also be ready to answer particular questions he might have. Use this website and others, as well as good apologetics books to learn good talking points about the faith. When you do discuss it, try to get him to stick to one topic, or it just turns into a rant against the Church. Also, lay the burden of proof on him to back up what he says for what he believes. The witness of your life, plus charitable but focused conversations about definite questions may at least get him thinking. It may take time, but with prayer and charity, he can be led to soften his views, if not convert. Bigger miracles have happened. Good luck.
 
Try the book “Search and Rescue, How to bring your family and friends into - or back into - the Catholic Church” by Patrick Madrid. The most challenging thing about evangelizing to family is remembering the long timeline that may be necessary for reaching them.

The most important thing you can do, as has already been said, it learn your faith and live it more fully. Do all you do in Charity and every time a family member tries to pick a fight against the Church, first, know that Christ established the Catholic Church and embued it with the Holy Spirit, such that the gates of Hell will not prevail. Hence, you never need fear that the official position of the Church is incorrect. Therefore, you needn’t feel defensive when questioned about it. If you don’t know the answer necessary to defend the honor of the Church, take a breath, relax. Know that this is an opportunity for you to learn your faith more deeply. Admit you don’t know how to respond to the point raised, but that you hope they’ll give you an opportunity to find out. Tell them that you’d be happy to get the answer and that you hope they’ll give you an opportunity to share, once you’ve researched the Church’s position.

When we allow ourselves to be drawn into a battle of who is right regarding our perspective of God, we push God aside from the focus and put our Pride first. Remember, it was Pride and Presumption that caused Satan to fall from Grace. If this sin can seperate the highest angel from the beatific vision, consider the harm it can do to our souls.

Only the Holy Spirit can do the actual work of converting a soul. We merely assist by delivering the message in a timely manner. I heard a homily today that likened God to the Chef of a fine restaurant, while we are the wait staff. All the Glory and Honor for the meal to be served goes to God. On the other hand, if we let the meal sit under the heat lamp for 15 minutes before we bring it out to the table, we can make the meal seem awful. If we serve it warm from the kitchen, the raves abound. But even then, while the praise is given to us, we did not cook the meal. That honor goes to the Chef alone, without whom such a meal is impossible.

I wish you all the best in assisting in presenting the Lord’s Banquet to your father in a way that encourages him to join in the Supper. I will keep you and all your family in my prayers and ask that you please assist me and mine with similar prayers. Right now, few in my family have anything to do with the Catholic Church into which we were all born.

And I am married to a non-Catholic, who is uncertain how to handle my return to Faith. So believe me, I know it’s nowhere near as easy as I make it sound, and yet these are the basic principles we must bring with us at all times, if we hope to be effective.

And as St. Francis said, “Preach always, and sometimes use words.”

God Bless,

CARose
 
40.png
Kaily:
Dear friends,

I had a conversation with my dad last weekend and he is very anti catholic, he’s lutheran, but doesn’t do much with his faith at all. He is very proud. Just so you know a little about him he divorced my mom 10 years ago almost and married the woman he had an affair with.

Well, after we found God we started sharing our faith with him and we converted to the Catholic faith 3years ago, he then started trying different churches and he and his wife tried a Catholic church, they liked it and thought about going(even though he doesn’t agree with almost everything they teach), so he talked to a priest and after that he decided he will NEVER go to a Catholic church. I’m assuming the priest told them they could not recieve Communion, etc… etc…

So now he is going to a lutheran church again. Anyway, we were talking last weekend and we were talking about the Catholic church and I talked about the Holy Eucharist, infallibility of the pope, etc well…he doesn’t agree with any of it then he started saying the Catholic Church is more focused on doctrine than on love, and that he should be able to recieve communion there even though he doesn’t believe in the Real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, well he believes He’s present after he recieves communion,but he doesn’t believe in Transubstantiation. How do I talk to him, sorry this is so long. I know I have to share the faith in Love and sometimes I let my emotions get in the way and I get frustrated and I need to learn a lot more about my faith. Are there books that would help me on this. I have been praying and sacrificing for him and will continue to do so.

Any advice would be helpful,

Blessings,
Kaily
Click to expand...
Lutherans also believe in the real presence, so what is he doing in a Lutheran church.
 
Kaily, you wrote,"…he doesn’t agree with any of it then he started saying the Catholic Church is more focused on doctrine than on love,"

Did you hear waht he said? He seemes to be more interested in the dealings of the local church, how they talk to one another than what the REAL purpose of a Church is! The real purpose to to help one get to heaven. I very often go to Mass and never speak to anyone. The Priest says the Mass and that’s it. We don’t think the church is a social gathering place- it is a Holy Place.

I think your Dad doesn’t have the very basic instruction or Catechisis in what is going on in the Catholic Church. To get any head way, in my opinion you need to get a Baltimore Chatechism ( maybe on a website)xenos.org/essays/rc_tbl.htm#eucharst Dont force it, make copies and make it available.
 
40.png
Kaily:
…he started saying the Catholic Church is more focused on doctrine than on love, and that he should be able to receive communion there…
Click to expand...
I would agree with your assumption that the priest probably told them they could not receive Communion, etc., and that might be why your dad decided that “he will NEVER go to a Catholic church.” But I’m also pretty sure that because of the fact of your parents’ divorce and your dad’s subsequent second marriage, the priest would have told them pretty much the exact same things even if both of them had professed to be (at least nominally) Catholic, hence your dad’s comments about the Catholic Church “being more focused on doctrine than on love.”

There are several threads in these fora dealing with the topic of
non-Catholics not receiving the Eucharist in a Catholic Church(though at the moment I can’t find any of them because for some reason my queries are timing out after 30 seconds). The main reason is of course that non-Catholics do not generally hold to be true all that the Catholic Church teaches, and thus their reception of the Eucharist would imply a unity that does not exist.

As for not being focused on love, I think the following (from catholic.com/library/Who_Can_Receive_Communion.asp) prety much addresses that point…
Another reason that many non-Catholics may not ordinarily receive Communion is **for their own protection **[emphasis mine], since many reject the doctrine of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Scripture warns that it is very dangerous for one not believing in the Real Presence to receive Communion: “For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died” (1 Cor. 11:29–30).
Click to expand...
…particularly when one realizes that “loving someone” includes “desiring the highest and best things” for that person. It’s hard to say you truly love someone if you encourage him to eat and drink judgement upon himself!
 
Thank you all for your encouraging words. I will continue to learn my faith and most of all ask Christ to my heart with HIs love, and work on having patience with my family. I know only the Holy Spirit can convert a soul.

Someone said Lutherans believe in the real presence, they believe in consubstatiation, he explained that that is they believe the substance does not change but that they receive the real presence with and in the wine and bread, and its after they recieve he doesn’t believe a priest changes it at consecration. So that’s what they believe.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers also, I guess we need to remember that it took 20 years for Saint Monica’s son to convert, Saint Augustine and I will continue to pray the rosary for him which is the most powerful prayer I believe.

God Bless you All,
kaily
 
Also, when my dad said that they are more focused on doctrine than on love, I said that love is also sharing the truth with others, then he said I was manipulating him :eek:

I don’t know where he got that from. I will keep learning my faith and praying for him and entrust him to our Blessed Mother.

In Christ,
Kaily
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top