How to tell family I'm converting

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leigh2015

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Hello all,

Let me first start by saying I’m so so so happy to be coming into the Church in just a couple of weeks!!! I will be getting baptized, confirmed, and receiving my first Holy Communion so it’s going to be quite the day for me. 🙂

Sadly, there is one thing that is making things seem difficult for me right now. I have not yet told my family that I am converting. As excited as I am, I know this is going to upset them and I just do not want that to happen. They are not religious people and this is something that seems completely absurd to them. I have not always been very close with my family and we have put a lot of our differences aside in recent years and can finally tolerate each other and get along fairly well. This is making it even harder because I’m afraid I’m going to lose them when they find out. At the very least, it is going to cause great strain in our relationships as they have always seemed to be against me affiliating with any type of organized religion

I even considered delaying my entrance into the Church because of this, but I just decided I could not deny our Lord in that way any longer as I know this is where I am called to be. If anyone has any advice, please let me know. God bless you all!

16 days!!! 🙂 🙂
 
I’m in the same situation as you - I will be baptized, confirmed and receive first Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil. Getting very excited!

My family is similarly not thrilled that I am converting. The emotional response tends to run the gamut from indifference to passive aggressive hostility, with absolutely no support. In terms of telling them of my decision, the advice I can offer is that you just tell them, plain and simple, that this is something you ARE doing. It isn’t a discussion, and you can make that clear - you’re just advising them, not asking for opinions. Be willing to answer questions - I got asked why, and I answered, “Because I believe God is calling me to do this.” When my family member tried to scoff at the answer (“That’s not a real answer”), I reminded them that I didn’t need them to validate my belief to make it valid. I also reminded them that this decision was making me happier than I had been in a very long time.

I personally will not be inviting my family to my baptism, because of their attitude, but you may want to extend the invitation. Hopefully if your family sees how happy you are, they will come to accept your decision. At least, that’s what everyone keeps telling me, so I will pass the same wishes on to you.

Good luck and God bless!
 
You don’t have to advertise your conversion. If you feel called to join the Church, then join it. There is no need to explain yourself.
 
Your family is not religious, as you said? If i were you, i would just join and tell them later.

Or, before joining, you can also tell them that it is what makes you hAppy. They will understand. After all, they want you to be happy 🙂
 
If they would try to block you or make things difficult, you would be better off getting baptized etc in secret, and only telling them later if they would not attempt to block you
Vanez said:
Your family is not religious, as you said? If i were you, i would just join and tell them later.

Or, before joining, you can also tell them that it is what makes you hAppy. They will understand. After all, they want you to be happy 🙂
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Thank you all for your advice. I do wish I could say I truly believed all they want is for me to be happy, but we have a really complicated history and I’m just not sure that’s the case. I hate that I feel like I cannot share my happiness and excitement with them, but I am afraid that if they know they will do all they can to keep me away from the Church. I’m a college student so it definitely complicates the going home situation. I’m just going to continue to pray for guidance and hope for the best. God’s power is so much greater than mine and I know He will help me make the right decision. God bless and I will keep all of you in my prayers as well!
 
I’m going to add another “Me too!” to this thread.
Family isn’t religious, so I don’t see the need to try and involve them when it might make them uncomfortable. I’m sure I’ll tell them eventually, but for now it’s not harming anyone to keep it under my hat, I think…
 
Wow-another “me too” - I’m in the same situation as well. I will be baptized, confirmed and receive first Holy Communion at 2015 Easter Vigil. Very much looking forward to it.

I haven’t told very many people about this either. Few know about my being in RCIA or my effort to convert. The few family members I have left live long distances from me and most of my friends have not been understanding or supportive of my even attending Mass, much less converting.:eek: I will tell them after the fact (if or when the opportunity comes up).
 
I converted at age 50. We lived 1400 miles from my parents, so only saw them for Christmas or summer vacation - and generally at their location (also where my sister lived). I told my sister, but didn’t tell my parents for about six years. My mother was a strong evangelical Christian. After a few years, she became somewhat supportive. She would ask me how my faith was growing (and I was able to speak of how Jesus was even more important in my life).

I left close friends at the Baptist Church - but most were loving (even if not necessarily supportive).

It has been a fantastic 17 years since then - growing stronger in faith; loving Jesus, finding a special relation with our Blessed Mother and devotion to the Rosary, and being a Greeter here at CAF!!!

I am praying for those in RCIA that God protect you; give you wisdom, discernment and strength (and strength to face your families); and compassion, love, joy and peace!!
 
I know exactly how you feel… I am so afraid to tell my mom, I just mentioned to her that I wanted to put my son in a Catholic school and she got so offended. I already told dad and he was like “cool what makes you happy baby girl” but mom just cant understand. The crazy part about this is she dose not even attend a church. She was going to a Nondenominational Christian Church but quit going some years ago. I think she is just angry that it is not a protestant church. How do I tell her???
 
Wow, it seems a lot of people here are on the same boat. Including me, as it turns out. 😛

I am also entering into full communion into the Catholic Church next Sunday (I can’t believe how close it is already), though I was baptised a few years ago in an evangelical Protestant church. I’m currently living in a different country from most of my friends and family, so most of them don’t know about my conversion.

I also still haven’t told my family, who are all Pentecostals (mainly because this is not an event I would want to share over email). I’m especially worried about my mom’s reaction, as she is quite anti-Catholic, though the rest of my family would be much more easy-going about this in my estimation. My mom is nervous and annoyed whenever she even hears about me going to Mass with my husband, and was very much against us receiving a dispensation for our marriage. Judging by her extreme reactions to my Catholic activities in the past, I greatly fear her reaction to this. Honestly, I am not certain if she would even want to speak to me again.

So I understand the fear…harsh reactions from family is a form of persecution. It is even more difficult for me as I have a close relationship with her, and it is sad that she is unable to share in my spiritual journey. This sadly reminds me of the terrifying words of Jesus in Matthew 10:34-37. 😦

I pray that one day I will have the strength to share my faith journey openly with her, and that she will come to understand why I chose to join the Catholic Church.

I realise one isn’t required to advertise their conversion to all friends and family, but my family is so close that I don’t think this kind of information could forever remain hidden. I’m sorry I can’t give much advice to the OP, but you are certainly not alone in your struggle. You have my prayers.
 
Similar story here. The only people I haven’t told are my father, his wife, and my half-siblings. The worst response from them I can imagine would be a question along the lines of “when did you become an idiot?” - I was an atheist and my dad’s an atheist… at least I’m pretty sure he is. We’ve never really spoken about religion. I don’t really care about what his wife thinks.

They’ll probably make jokes at my expense for a while but that’s about it.
 
I’ve lost some long-time friends and when my cradle Catholic in-law found out I’m joining, they flipped out.

I have no advice. You have to do what you’re called to. You’ll have no peace taking the easy road, for sure. Know though, you’re far from being alone!

:hug1:
 
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