How to Tell Wife That She Needs to Go to RCIA?

[Augustine]

My beloved wife fell in love with Our Lord in the Eucharist. We even decided to straighten up and seek annullment of her marriage so that we can receive Our Lord.

I realized this when she was telling me how the hearing was at the diocesan tribunal, when the first question was whether she was Catholic, to which she acquiesced. It wasn’t out of malice, but rather out of ignorance of the requirement that she needs to formally profress her allegiance to the Catholic Church (if this makes any sense). I knew she had been baptized a Lutheran, but she considers herself a Catholic at heart.

I know that in the past she even expressed an undisposition to get the Sacrament of Confirmation, but I haven’t asked recently after her faith grew, by the grace of God.

Today at Mass it was announced that registration for RCIA has begun, after which I pointed that to her on the bulletin, but I stopped there, at a timely announcement by the priest.

I’d appreciate your thoughts, for I’m a brute and I’d hate to do Our Lord any disservice. I’d appreciate your prayers too.

 

[Lorrie]

For one to be a Catholic they have to be confirmed in the Church. This can be done immediately only if someone is in grave danger (terminal illness, etc.). For her to be confirmed she has to go through the RCIA. This is a requirement of the Church. Its so important because one learns so much from going to the classes and becomes prepared to receive the sacraments. One can consider themselves a Catholic at heart all they want, but for them to actually be as such they have to be confirmed/receive first holy communion in the Church.

My beloved wife fell in love with Our Lord in the Eucharist

Do you mean she has received communion in the Church? If your answer is yes and she isn’t Catholic this would be considered sacrilegious.

We even decided to straighten up and seek annullment of her marriage so that we can receive Our Lord.

I’m assuming you guys weren’t married in the Church, correct? Technically, you guys have to live celibate until the annullment process is granted and then get married in the Church, as the Church doesn’t look at your marriage as valid. I only know this because my mom is going through it right now with my stepfather. I suggest you talk to your priest about all of this immediately.

 

[Della]

Lorrie:

For one to be a Catholic they have to be confirmed in the Church. This can be done immediately only if someone is in grave danger (terminal illness, etc.). For her to be confirmed she has to go through the RCIA. This is a requirement of the Church. Its so important because one learns so much from going to the classes and becomes prepared to receive the sacraments. One can consider themselves a Catholic at heart all they want, but for them to actually be as such they have to be confirmed/receive first holy communion in the Church.

Actually, no one has to go to RCIA. Anyone who feels they would benefit from private instruction with a priest may learn about the Church that way and be received into the Church at any time of the year. RCIA is merely a convenience for the parish, but it is a good way to learn about the Church for most people.

Augustine, if you think your wife would benefit from RCIA then by all means point it out to her. Why be so shy about it? If she wants to understand Catholic teaching what better way for her to do so? Besides, she doesn’t have to be confirmed at the end of RCIA. It is open to anyone who, Catholic or non-Catholic, who wishes to learn about the Church, as well as to catechumens and candidates.

 

[Augustine]

Lorrie:

For one to be a Catholic they have to be confirmed in the Church.

Our former priest was a convert and he said that then he was confirmed in a sacrasty with noone but a priest present.

But I was asking for help on how to tell her that. Any information about the why’s and how’s are appreciated.

Lorrie:

Do you mean she has received communion in the Church? If your answer is yes and she isn’t Catholic this would be considered sacrilegious.

Definitely not. After going regurlaly to church on Sundays she started yearning for the Eucharist, something we’ve refrained without her knowing the precise reasons. When she asked to go, I told her why we couldn’t, to her great sorrow. But a sorrow that I myself was already feeling in silence.

Lorrie:

I’m assuming you guys weren’t married in the Church, correct? Technically, you guys have to live celibate until the annullment process is granted and then get married in the Church, as the Church doesn’t look at your marriage as valid. I only know this because my mom is going through it right now with my stepfather. I suggest you talk to your priest about all of this immediately.

We did and his pastoral skills were insrumental in our decision to start the annullment process.

Please, pray for us.

 

[Augustine]

Della:

Augustine, if you think your wife would benefit from RCIA then by all means point it out to her. Why be so shy about it? If she wants to understand Catholic teaching what better way for her to do so? Besides, she doesn’t have to be confirmed at the end of RCIA. It is open to anyone who, Catholic or non-Catholic, who wishes to learn about the Church, as well as to catechumens and candidates.

Let me just say that I tip-toe around her when it comes to religion. I’m afraid of spoiling the work of the Spirit in her. When I said I was a brute, I meant it.

She was so convinced that nothing was necessary that she even taught RE to elementary-schoolers! My, she even grew in piety, praised be God!

But the option to have private instruction is an alternative that I’ll inquire about. As a matter of fact, I scheduled a private meeting with our new pastor to discuss this, among other things.

 

[Della]

About ways to tell her she has to be confirmed in the Church not just assume she is in the Church because she feels it in her heart, sit her down and explain that the Church doesn’t base membership on feelings but on sacraments. Confirmation is a sacrament just as important as the Eucharist.

In confirmation we receive the indwelling of the Holy Spirit who helps us live our lives for God so that we can become holy, not just “good people”. The goal of every Catholic (ought to be) to be perfected in love so that we can obtain union with God.

Confirmation puts our feet on that road and begins that process in a way that helps us conform our hearts, minds, and wills to that of Christ. Of course, you will want to put things in your own words, in a way she will understand.

And you and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[Lorrie]

Della:

Confirmation puts our feet on that road and begins that process in a way that helps us conform our hearts, minds, and wills to that of Christ.

A wonderful way to put it Della!