Husband & wife rolls - are they laid out in the Bible?

  • Thread starter Thread starter AServantofGod
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
A

AServantofGod

Guest
Do you believe that husbands and wives are provided with specific rolls? I don’t mean who cuts the grass or who changes the poopy diapers. What I am referring to is who is the ideal spiritual leader, who should make final decisions in large matters, etc.?
 
40.png
AServantofGod:
Do you believe that husbands and wives are provided with specific rolls? I don’t mean who cuts the grass or who changes the poopy diapers. What I am referring to is who is the ideal spiritual leader, who should make final decisions in large matters, etc.?
Click to expand...
The male should have the final say, that way there is no problems.
 
40.png
AServantofGod:
Do you believe that husbands and wives are provided with specific rolls? I don’t mean who cuts the grass or who changes the poopy diapers. What I am referring to is who is the ideal spiritual leader, who should make final decisions in large matters, etc.?
Click to expand...
“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:21-31).”

This is how I understand it: both spouses are to submit to each other, but the type of submission is different for each. The wife is to submit the way the Church submits to Christ, trusting in the husband, letting him provide for her, lead her spiritually etc. The husband is to submit in the way that Christ gave Himself up for the Church, giving up everything and even his life if that’s what’s needed for his wife’s salvation.

Another thing about the kind of leader that a Christian man should be:

“But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25-28).”

But even though the man is to be the spiritual leader, it doesn’t mean that the woman should just sit there and be idle! Any good leader knows the strengths of his followers and would use their knowledge/understanding in making good decisions.

I hope I have got this right!!!
 
Hermione said:
“Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:21-31).”

This is how I understand it: both spouses are to submit to each other, but the type of submission is different for each. The wife is to submit the way the Church submits to Christ, trusting in the husband, letting him provide for her, lead her spiritually etc. The husband is to submit in the way that Christ gave Himself up for the Church, giving up everything and even his life if that’s what’s needed for his wife’s salvation.

Another thing about the kind of leader that a Christian man should be:

“But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25-28).”

But even though the man is to be the spiritual leader, it doesn’t mean that the woman should just sit there and be idle! Any good leader knows the strengths of his followers and would use their knowledge/understanding in making good decisions.

I hope I have got this right!!!
Click to expand...

I agree.

Here are other questions which arise. What if the husband is not as strong spiritually as the wife? Is the wife supposed to defer in this case to her husband, wait around for her husband to gain spiritual strength or just take the reigns and go? These are important questions especially when there are children involved.

Another question, what if the husband recognizes that his wife is the spiritually strong one and on his own defers this roll to her entrusting her with the spiritual upbringing of the family? What a complement, but is this as effective as the husband leading the family spiritually?
 
"WIVES, BE SUBJECT TO YOUR HUSBANDS":
THE AUTHORITY OF THE HUSBAND ACCORDING TO THE MAGISTERIUM

LOVE & RESPECT BOOK

A MARRIAGE BOOK WITH A DIFFERENCE! A REVOLUTIONARY MESSAGE.

“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught."

“This is the key that I have been missing.”

“A lightbulb moment.”

“You connected all the dots for me.”

“As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”

“You’re on to something huge here.”

A SIMPLE MESSAGE

A wife has one driving need – to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need – to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.

A MESSAGE THAT WORKS

Based on over three decades of counseling, as well as scientific and biblical research, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other.

What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended?

Then why not try some Love and Respect.

THE MESSAGE OF THIS BOOK IS REACHING EVERYWHERE

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love and Respect message across America and are changing the way people think about marriage. Their message is based on over three decades of counseling and scientific, as well as biblical research. Thousands of couples affirm what Emerson and Sarah practice themselves.

P.S. This book is one most husbands will read, despite the general idea that men won’t read marriage books! Few men will feel disrespected when informed this book is about his need for respect! A husband feels positive when shown the subtitle: “the respect he desperately needs.” He’ll start reading this book!
 
the man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck, and the neck can turn the head any way she wants (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)
 
40.png
AServantofGod:
I agree.

Here are other questions which arise. What if the husband is not as strong spiritually as the wife? Is the wife supposed to defer in this case to her husband, wait around for her husband to gain spiritual strength or just take the reigns and go? These are important questions especially when there are children involved.

Another question, what if the husband recognizes that his wife is the spiritually strong one and on his own defers this roll to her entrusting her with the spiritual upbringing of the family? What a complement, but is this as effective as the husband leading the family spiritually?
Click to expand...
I don’t think the husband necessarily has to give up his leadership role if he is less spiritual than the wife. For example President Bush may not be as good as Condoleeza Rice when it comes to various security/policy issues, but he is still the leader.

A leader can put someone more experienced in a given area in charge of that area, or make that person his advisor in that area and still remain a leader. And a good leader would do this!
 
40.png
buffalo:
A wife has one driving need – to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need – to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love and Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily and biblically.
Click to expand...
I don’t buy it.

If a husband was respected by his wife but not loved, how would he be any different from a competent stranger his wife respects? I might respect a public authority figure, but I don’t love him (except in that Christian way of wanting him to get to Heaven!), and a relationship built primarily on my respect for him certainly wouldn’t get very far. Why? I wouldn’t care for him, I wouldn’t feel affection for him and therefore wouldn’t show it. I wouldn’t be interested in having intimate conversations with him. I wouldn’t be interested in feeling close to him. I wouldn’t really want to spend time with him, much less be sexually intimate with him etc. However this supposed “one driving need” for respect would be met in full. I’d admire him and look up to him. So what?

Likewise, if a husband loves his wife but doesn’t respect her, is it really love? Love includes respect.

Frankly I wouldn’t buy any book that says that people in relationships have ONE driving anything. People in marriages have needs for a whole buch of things (such as love, conversation, openness, respect, spending time together, commitment, trust, sexual intimacy etc. etc.) I think simplifying it to respect for the man and love for the woman is a recipe for disaster.
 
I’m pleased as punch if he brings home cinnamon rolls
Click to expand...
:rotfl:

I have to admit, my first impulse was to say, “Rolls aren’t laid out in the Bible, they’re laid out in the cake pans”. . .
 
40.png
Hermione:
I don’t buy it.

If a husband was respected by his wife but not loved, how would he be any different from a competent stranger his wife respects? I might respect a public authority figure, but I don’t love him (except in that Christian way of wanting him to get to Heaven!), and a relationship built primarily on my respect for him certainly wouldn’t get very far. Why? I wouldn’t care for him, I wouldn’t feel affection for him and therefore wouldn’t show it. I wouldn’t be interested in having intimate conversations with him. I wouldn’t be interested in feeling close to him. I wouldn’t really want to spend time with him, much less be sexually intimate with him etc. However this supposed “one driving need” for respect would be met in full. I’d admire him and look up to him. So what?

Likewise, if a husband loves his wife but doesn’t respect her, is it really love? Love includes respect.

Frankly I wouldn’t buy any book that says that people in relationships have ONE driving anything. People in marriages have needs for a whole buch of things (such as love, conversation, openness, respect, spending time together, commitment, trust, sexual intimacy etc. etc.) I think simplifying it to respect for the man and love for the woman is a recipe for disaster.
Click to expand...
According to the book - 70+% of men surveyed said they placed respect over love.

Look around this site for more info to help you understand - Love and Respect
 
40.png
Hermione:
I don’t think the husband necessarily has to give up his leadership role if he is less spiritual than the wife. For example President Bush may not be as good as Condoleeza Rice when it comes to various security/policy issues, but he is still the leader.

A leader can put someone more experienced in a given area in charge of that area, or make that person his advisor in that area and still remain a leader. And a good leader would do this!
Click to expand...
This is a very good point. When I spoke with someone about wishing my husband would take the spiritual reins in our family, she said that my husband has entrusted me with that area. Entrusted! Wow, I hadn’t thought of if that way. I was wrongly believing that he was neglecting his duty. Not at all; he just recognized spirituality as one of my strengths. That’s when I realized that I should feel complimented. I still long for a strong spiritual guide, however.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top