Husband's Pornography Problem

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Dadette

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Hello there,

I wanted to have some feedback on my husband’s pornography problem. I knew my husband had a grave pornography problem when we got married and it started when he was 10 years old (in his 30s now.) I believe it started because he was trying to fill a hole from his parent’s painful divorce. He is a practicing Catholic but deals with the struggles of life with pornography, especially this year, between 10-45 minutes each day. He told me he despairs of change, as he has gone to Brothers of Augustine and SA and has seen others change in this, but as he says, no matter what he does, he doesn’t change. He can, as he says, pray the rosary one minute, be so in love with God, and then the next minute succumb to temptation. He does it and then drives himself into despair; believes that he is worthless, destined to Hell or the worse trenches of purgatory and he isolates himself and is angry a lot. He is so hard to reach in these moments. I’ve prayed, prayed, and prayed. We’ve been married almost 5 years and have two young daughters. Any advise offered here, from someone who has been in the trenches and knows the effects of this kind of problem? Thank you for your help and sensitivity.
 
Fasting. Fasting strengthens the will. And one can fast from anything. Ask him to give it a try.
 
Can he take a break from the internet or in the least put some filters on it so specific things won’t show up?
A few suggestions aside from taking a break from the internet could be to take up some new hobbies that he can go do when feeling weakened, if possible avoid any obvious triggers for a while,

I also suggest praying the divine mercy chaplet as its a wonderful prayer but also because it reminds us that Jesus wants us all to accept his unfathomable mercy. There is no sinner that is unredeemable so long as they can go to Jesus and ask his forgiveness and willingly accept the Holy Spirit. We can all be forgiven of our sins if we truly repent of them. Instead of believing he is worthless believe that Jesus loves him as Jesus loves all of us!! Your husband isn’t worthless and his life is a gift from God as is all our lives he just needs to remind himself of this, Another great prayer is the Saint Michael prayer, try saying that in times of despair also.
 
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Perhaps if he could utilize the unending forgiveness, mercy, and grace of the Sacrament of Reconciliation frequently as well as a spiritual advisor such as a Deacon or kind Priest, it could help him to get past this. If he’s embarrassed to go to a certain Priest for the Sacrament, there are so many Catholic churches around that there would likely be one or more where he would feel more at ease. During the Sacrament he is likely to obtain some excellent advice that he can utilize long after on overcoming this addiction. In addition, praying for the intercession of St. Michael the Archangel as well as St. Joseph can be amazingly beneficial. Any time he feels the desire to resort to pornography, he can say a prayer for their assistance before he takes the next step toward it. Another suggestion might be that each time the desire to delve into satan’s treasures happens, he could say a prayer for someone he knows who is ill, suffering, or has passed away first. Once he begins praying for them and thinking about what they’re going through, it can help tremendously in avoiding the temptation to sin. Even a simple thought or quiet expression such as, “Jesus please help me,” can go a very long way to helping. As a loving wife, if he asks for your assistance, that would also do wonders. May you both recognize our dear Lord by your sides every minute of the day as He assists in all ways possible!
 
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